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WARDROBE-GATE: Update

Every once in a generation an investigative reporter is launched into the political zeitgeist, using highly trained instincts, the time-honored tradition of following the money, hard-nosed persistence and some good old-fashioned hard work. Sweating the details, thinking outside the box…

You may not have heard of Sabrina Eaton of the Plain Dealer, but you will..

For in the midst of the chaotic, fog of war that is the elections of 2012, Eaton has uncovered a scandal so shocking, so disgusting and complicated, that its mere existence will have consequences that reach deep into the abyss of campaign abuse and threaten to bring down an entire web of high-level deceit. Woodward and Bernstein, step aside, the mother of all ‘gates’ has been revealed: It’s “Wardrobe-gate;” and yes, it involves a plumber…

But in order to fully explain, I must first tell you the story of the woman who, with one email, brought this house of cards tumbling down into the light of justice. Her name: Sabrina Eaton. Her paper: The Cleveland Plain Dealer. Her mission: Get the Republican.

On July 17th, Eaton contacted Joe for Congress 2012 Communications Director, Phil Christofanelli, via email to clarify the glaring question in Joe’s six figure FEC filing: his $600 expenditure at Jos. A. Banks. Christofanelli explained that Joe did not own any business attire prior to running for Congress, thus the campaign purchased a few shirts and dress pants in order for Joe to attend certain campaign events.

While most journalists would have been fooled by this clever form of campaign spin, Eaton was undeterred and began to dig. Later that day she earned a major break. By delving deep into the intricacies of campaign finance rules, she discovered that it is impermissible for campaigns to purchase clothing for candidates. She knew right then that Joe’s campaign was finished. Ever the intrepid journalist, Eaton quickly got to work penning an article entitled “Clothes purchases by Samuel Joe the Plumber – Wurzelbacher appear to run afoul of campaign finance law.”

What is the moral of this story? While excoriating every minor detail out of Joe’s campaign, the complicit liberal media in Northern Ohio completely ignores their friend, Rep. Marcy Kaptur; who is Joe’s Democrat opponent for Congress. Since the start of Joe’s campaign, Eaton has been nothing but hostile, threatening to “Politi-fact” all of Joe’s press releases and writing negative stories at every opportunity, while fawning over Kaptur.

The real story coming out of Joe’s FEC report should have been this: Joe the Plumber, a first-time candidate in a challenging district, raises nearly as much as 30-year incumbent Marcy Kaptur. Not only that, but Joe raised his money mostly from small donors all over the country, while Marcy Kaptur earned most of her money from special interest groups, particularly unions which require all workers to hand over a portion of their paychecks in order to fund the political donations of the union boss.

Liberal journalist hacks like Eaton are hell-bent on determining how you view this next election. They must be exposed for the political activists they are. The American people deserve to decide this election, not the media. They’ve largely ignored Joe’s campaign, platform, successes, speeches or appearances, but they are right on top of this suit thing. Conversely, Marcy Kaptur’s few words during this cycle have been cheered and saluted. As far as they’re concerned, the economy is doing just great, and it’s Joe the Plumber’s wardrobe that needs more coverage.

Carry on Sabrina, and start thinking about who will play you in the film.

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