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FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

DIAF Mark Sanford

Your prompt resignation would be a satisfactory, though less savory, alternative.

I have been involved in politics literally since I was 3 years old, so in my time I have seen some pretty low-life behavior on the part of politicians.  I have, in fact, become so cynical about politicians in general that I thought I was no longer capable of being shocked at the behavior of any elected official anymore.  I was wrong.

It turns out that there’s an elected official out there who is so colossally stupid and so cavalierly indifferent to his duties as an elected official that he somehow thought he could go completely AWOL (on a different freaking continent) for six days and no one would, you know, notice, or care to investigate where he was. Turns out there’s a governor out there who thought it was a good idea to lie to his staff, his family, his friends (including RedState), and everyone who ever worked to get him elected or advance his national stature all in the name of satisfying his libido.  Turns out that Mark Sanford is guilty of the most reckless dereliction of duty and betrayal of trust it has been my displeasure to witness in decades.

I liked to joke with my colleagues behind the scenes (as recently as this morning, in fact) that no politician would ever again attempt anything so crazy as trying to have the police cover up for the fact that their wife (allegedly) hired someone to whack said politician’s favorite stripper. (Background here.) It turns out that I was wrong again. Sanford’s saga doesn’t involve any strippers being offed (that we know of, yet), but it displays perhaps a greater lack of judgment because his scheme had exponentially smaller chances of, you know, actually succeeding. Memorandum to Mark Sanford: if you are the sitting Governor of a State and you disappear for six days, people will notice.  And if you disappear in a state car, it will be easy for them to find you if they are so inclined.  Thing is, if you have ever spoken with Mark Sanford or heard him speak, you know that he is smart enough to know all these things all on his own.  A man who allows his judgment to be subsumed to the whims of his genitals to this extent has no business being dogcatcher, let alone governor.

But what really takes the cake here is not the appalling lack of judgment and moral character, it’s the dereliction of duty. You know what? *I* can’t disappear entirely from my job for six days, even if I give advance notice. I get to take the crackberry with me and check in to make sure no fires crop up. And if I ever was gone for six days without notice and returned with any other explanation besides “marooned at sea,” I’d return to a desk with someone else’s family pictures on top of it. And I’m just a lowly attorney at a relatively small firm. And I get that some people don’t want to live their lives that way, but such people do not (or at least should not) run for freaking Governor.

Mark Sanford, you have betrayed your family, your friends, your constituents, your supporters, and God, all for basically nothing.  You have proven to be the slimiest member of a barrel that is filled with some pretty slimy characters. If you have a decent bone left in your body, resign immediately and hopefully we can soon permanently move past news cycles featuring either your face or your name.  Goodbye and good riddance.

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