Before we begin I offer this diary on humor, happily, up for commentary, review, and good jokes regarding Progressives. I stole one of them from this website. I own up to whom at the end of this part of the diary.
People often desire and achieve the same things different ways. Sometimes they bond together to achieve common things. It’s great when everyone helps out. I’d also like to say I personally don’t want to be a ‘one trick pony’ and I encourage everyone to get good at a few different things at least. Humor can offer amusement or relief, it can be used to bond or too repel. It can be used as weapon on the feelings and standing of another and also to heal such type of wounds. Humor is very versatile and used for many purposes. It’s kind of like tool sometimes and sometimes like a food or a drug. It is an observable phenomenon regarding human behavior, artifacts, and thought. Comedy, as well as Tragedy, can both be an example of what one values and what one doesn’t. Then again sometimes things are just funny.
Here are some examples of some semi-original humor that involve reactions against a segment of American Society increasingly known as Progressives. Here are some of my written attempts:
Pretending to defend another while your making unfortunate observations about them. A classic approach to chastisment.
On the alleged lack of standards of Progressives, refuting a Conservative Claim.
Much of this is not original and one hears many funny variations. This is my attempt to condense two popular observations.
Politics can foster unpleasant stereotypes and uncomplimentary remarks. I would like to do my part to dispel two of the stereotypes.
Many in the Conservative community have made unflattering observations about the various behaviors displayed by Progressives. Many are obviously true. The statement,
‘Progressives lack any kind of standards’ however is blatantly false. Progressives certainly do have standards. In fact they have two sets. One set is for themselves and their friends. The other is for everyone else. Using this obviously false statement must stop in civil discourse and debate, it is bearing false witness. Come on Conservatives, where are your manners?
I feel I should also address another misconception about Progressives and Socialists. It is the perception that these poor maligned folks don’t believe in helping themselves. It is totally untrue. They do believe in helping themselves, to other people’s stuff.
I am glad to have this opportunity to help clear up these unfortunate views. I look at it as my opportunity to promote civil discourse in American society. Thank you for your support.
The influence of Saul Alinsky and Glenn Beck
The influence of these two individuals is considerable in me and may be life long. I’m also influenced by a lot of things. If you read my old profile I tell you my heroes are Bugs Bunny and Niccolo Machiavelli. Think that through. Comparing both sets as variations of each other is an understandable choice however might lead to an inaccurate conclusion, but make your own decision. I’m not trying to tell you how to think. Anyway this is what happens when you leave kids alone with TV (pre-cable) and old books. Just saying. There are other influences as well though, not apparent in these two pieces. Ideally be familiar with both, however I want all to feel welcome. Here we go:
What I like to say to Progressives; Glenn Beck gives you wee wee pants.
A touching Tribute to a very, popular albino nationalist that humbly tries to combine a phrase used in A Presidential Address to Congress and the concepts of ‘tell them what they want to hear’ and ‘ use ridicule over reason’.
Also dedicated to Saul Alinsky who wrote a book called, ‘Rules for Radicals’ and dedicated it to Lucifer.
Short form: Glenn Beck gives/gave you wee wee pants. Your afraid of Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin!, In combination with any of the items below. It’s kind of like condensed soup in a way.
Glenn Beck gives you wee wee pants. Why are you so mad at some little albino nationalist? Look at him. He’s short, he’s pudgy, and he wears glasses. He looks like an albino Winnie-the-pooh dressed up in business suits and yellow lederhosen he thought he looked so cute in when crawling around on the furniture. How sick is that? Glenn Beck likes to read the Constitution and read books. Glenn Beck is the poster boy for the political party for people who are afraid of real politics, intellectuals. Glenn Beck is a Libertarian, not something practical. Glenn Beck likes running his mouth. Look around, so does everyone else. So what! Ooh, that so scary! Is this someone you’re actually scared of? You need to get it together. Get a grip! You’re afraid of a chunky albino clotheshorse that cries and Sarah Palin! Have you ever seen those book covers? He has more outfits than she does. Your afraid of some butterball in yellow lederhosen that can’t go into direct sunlight and a former TV reporter. That’s Pathetic! Have you ever asked your self, “What is missing in my life I have to spend time so much time thinking about Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck? Maybe you should. Then, right after you asked, start trying to figure out what it is. First go change. Glenn Beck gave you wee wee pants.
This well meant correctional advice provokes telling responses.
An example of pretending to ridicule someone you are actually promoting.
Send this to a Progressive that doesn’t realize what you really are. An act of charity in a way, kinda. Everything in this one is true except the Nazi part.
Bernard Chapin is a Nazi
If you want to listen to a very upset white man’s who openly admits to embracing a subversive ideology then Bernard Chapin is for you. This man is disturbing. He’s scary looking, loud, and usually upset about something. It’s obvious that he actually believes what he says. It probably wouldn’t be so bad except for what it is that he openly admits to being. He is some one that needs to be watched, CLOSELY. It’s an unpleasant but highly educational experience. I suggest every one concerned about real freedom in this country and keeping it take a long look at people like Bernard Chapin. You need to look and see this type of so-called ‘thinking’ for yourself, if nothing else to know how to deal with it. Just remember Bernard Chapin publicly displays he’s a libertarian.
LIBERTARIANS ARE NAZIS
BERNARD CHAPIN IS A NAZI
This important message is brought to you by; the Legion of Progressive Decency
Saving America from subversive activity
I am a fan of Bernard Chapin and looking at his ‘Chapin’s Inferno’ on YouTube. It is an inferno. A big scary one that has a loud, patriotic skinhead sitting right in the captain’s chair. In addition to this he’s a libertarian. So if you thought I was Rogue Libertarian. Just saying. Sometimes Freedom is scary.
In a similar vein, something you can send to Progressives to get them to read your diary or whatever else. Ready for the old cut and paste.
This is a copy of an article appearing at redstate.com. The extremist Republican website supposedly a top news source for people like Glenn Beck and Fox News. It’s a typical example of poorly written Tea Party racist crap. People need to know about this garbage and see it for what it is. It’s probably on stormfront.org too. Write the President and your local congressman. Please Help!
Attempting to interject humor into a serious, serious topic
What is going to be done about Progressives in the Republican Party?
These reason I pose this question is two fold. The first fold is that I have some of these Progressive Republicans* in my own family even though I personally have been saved by the Holy Light of Libertarianism. The second fold is that I hold the conviction that these poor unfortunates need to be driven not only out of government but also academia, the media (unless it’s an editorial) and anywhere else they and their other variants have managed to roost. I am willing to try rehabilitation with my family however I lack resources to take on the whole country.
And for those tempted to try to turn the argument around as say it’s Libertarians who need to clean house too, please stick to one subject, which is progressivist infiltration in the Republican Party. Just remember the Libertarians are folks who regularly refer to the ‘two wings of the same bird.’ They are not referring to the penguin. I am happily waiting replies. Thanks for your support
* personal note: I have family members that Progressive Democrats, Progressive Republican, Consevative Liberals, Episcopalians, Hispanics, ect.
Old classics (because recycling is important):
This was started as diary to get folks to try something new. It also has as it’s theme of perversion and election night coverage, a little connection seldom noticed by many.
On the Election of 2010 and being a pervert.
I want you to try something that a large majority of people (according to the ratings) would find disgusting, damaging, and, well, rather sick. Until you start liking it. I’ll explain.
As most people can investigate I am openly Libertarian and make no apologies. As we all know Libertarians are perverts and not true Conservatives. Even other Libertarians know this. Now here’s what I want you to try. Like I said, it’s sick. While most people of better character are watching Fox News, which provides amazingly good coverage, I take breaks and sneak off to my room. Almost immediately, after I shut the door and lower the shades, I change the television set from its usual position (Fox) to MSNBC. Now before more judgmental types choose to reply I want to remind everybody of some facts. The numbers are virtually the same and it is, technically, election coverage. Where my sick, twisted pleasure comes in is in watching how they react when they lose. It is one of the most candid glimpses into the Progressive ‘mind’ or whatever it is. One sees some amazing displays. For those who missed it, the Scott Brown election coverage on MSNBC was a major overnighter. I couldn’t turn it off and even afterwards, thought about it for days. Shock and awe, rage, the deer stuck in headlights look, the rationalizations and pontificating, the tears. What a rush! Ah. Another memorizing aspect is watching them weave all of this with aspects of demons and witchcraft. Now nobody really thinks Christine O’Donnell is a witch. That’s what they are saying about Governor Sarah Palin. This is the head of the Grand Coven of Were-Grizzlies channeling the dark forces of the empire to oppose normal people who like progress and social justice. I love it! Raw human emotions blended with paranoid delusions and meltdowns. Frankly I don’t see anything wrong with it. I am surprised more don’t indulge. I do apologize if I offended anyone, even Progressives kind of. I told you this was going to be sick.
This was sent to Congresswoman Bachman, not as slam on her but as one on Chris Matthews. The reason I sent to her is some Catholics go bad and become Progressive Catholic. The reason this is Anti-Progressive is because Chris Matthew is one of them.
Repudiating a brother or sister Catholic.**
An entertaining but dangerous sport.. REMEMBER we are talking about God, Faith, and might be around people packing heat. I live in Texas (Dist.27). The example used here is Chris Matthews, popular MSNBC host. Adjustment must be used for each individual case. . May be used whole or in a part. A little can go a long way. Congresswoman Michelle Bachman sits in as a guest. Oh, yeah, this is how I really feel.
With due and great personal respect to Congresswoman Bachman and addressed to the audience of this body, I feel compelled to let everyone know of some facts.
The Catholic* Demographic is vast. Mr. Matthews and I do not reside in the same part of it. I do not question his Faith. I do not question that is he is a Roman Catholic in communion with Rome, as Patrick Buchanan, as am I. Our forms of worship are different and both are accepted by Rome. His is the more familiar, post Vatican II Novus Ordo Mass. I, to be brief, attend what is called ‘Latin Mass’ which is an older form of the Mass. It has been around a very long time. A serious concern about Mr. Matthews that I have had for quite some time now, concerns not his faith. It’s concerns his approach to it. His approach is very much in line with what is propagated by the US Conference of Bishops. In many American Catholic minds they are equated variously with the Left, Marxism, Liberation Theology, and other similar terms. Holy Mother Church tends to let the bigger kids run themselves plus she has had other concerns as of late. To sum this up quickly, I view Chris Matthews, not as badly but similar to, a group I have extremely strong misgivings about, the Kennedys of Hyannisport. I am not alone in this opinion. I have heard it in open discussion as well. I thank you all.
- My personal guidelines for myself on request.
**Please do not attempt in direct contact if you are not Catholic. Orthodox we know how you cross yourselves, so rehearse. High Church Anglicans can give it a try. For those who think they got it down, crossing oneself and spitting on the ground with varying degrees of intensity can be a very effective touch.
This was intended to reinforce a growing suspicion in a ‘different from my own’ demographic without bringing up too much stuff about race. Note the actual race references and the term used. This is the original form NOT as it appears as earlier diary. Poor Mr. Erickson is still suffering at my hands though. My apologies. The original has quite the attention getter, huh?
WARNING THIS STUFF IS OFFENSIVE!!!
Here it is:
First, a tip of the hat to at Erick Erickson at redstate.com for providing the original inspiration for this important news bulletin..
WHY (most) BLACK PEOPLE ARE STUPID-2010
sometimes it’s good to listen to the neighbors
Someone I admire very much and whom I hope will speak to truth to power or at least slip power a note.
From a white racist libertarian fan,
libertarianphilip (not his real name) at redstate.com
Before we begin: Yes I said it. (most) Black People are behaving stupidly in 2010. To explain I have come up with this colorful tale. One thing about stupidity, most people can change it. I know I did.
Still going strong! Big O and the Cohorts continue producing classic hits for loyal fans.
Big O and the Cohorts are continuing to provide a string of memorable classics to their loyal fan base despite fading popularity Now Big O didn’t start off so well on the charts when he first started out either. It’s been a long ride to his current level of popularity. Miz Hillary Girl, a popular albino siren, was Queen Diva then (now a member of the Cohorts). Even Miz Oprah bowed down (a little bit) to her. Once a popular minister went on to suggest Big O might need to have his vocal range adjusted a bit higher range, to say soprano, to be more of service to his audience. Things worked out well however once he lined up The Cohorts. Big O and the Cohorts were an instant success and rode the wave to the top of the charts! Since his inception as the new UNDISPUTED KING OF POPULAR CULTURE he has provided his fan base, as well as the nation, with many, many historic classics. There are too many to list in this humble post.
Shortly after shooting to number#1 and being given a four year contract Big O and the Cohorts started providing non stop material not just for the nation but also special dedications to their loyal, original fan base.
The first years were exciting with frequent media appearances, lofty plans for the future and Big-O’s personal promotion of frequent recreational activities as effective stress management for a nation needing effective stress management. Big O led by example, even getting his wife and kids on television. Despite this frenzy of activity Big O never forgot the people who made him great. Lets look back at some of these very special, dedicated hits.
Big O and the Cohorts started this string of stunning chart toppers beginning with an immediate classic. That now neglected tribute to big O and the Cohorts, the collaboration with Miss Etta James and Beyonce on their remixed version of ‘At Last’. The Legendary Miss Etta James has her Classic Ballad ‘At Last’ sung by Beyonce as tribute to Big O and the Cohorts at party she wasn’t even invited to. Miss James had a small speaking part at the end of it all. A short rap on the whole thing sat with her.
More was to follow. Here are some of the more popular ones:
No Johnson but my own- commemorating the ouster of back up singer, Van Johnson, from Big O and the Cohorts due to pressure from an albino nationalist.
Throw you under bus, now, throw you under the bus - a notable hit with strong airplay. The compelling story of a woman who had to quit her job over something that never happened. Special Guest Star Shirley Sherrod retired after helping out with this moving but rowdy number.
My brother ain’t my brother- (Cohorts solo effort) – technically not one of Big-O’s but certainly showing his very strong influence. This solo effort by some of the Cohorts is worthy of note. A very popular number, which shares, that sometimes brothers don’t always get along and when they don’t, it’s the one that’s been there the longest that gets to get out of the house. Juan Williams and radio goddess Vivian Schiller helped out with this special treat.
Not for the Meek- the current sensation dedicated to loyal fans about how the lesser man should be about obeying his boss. Veteran crooner Billy C provides strong arm back up while namesake KM contributes apologetic sound bites on how’ it’s better now ya’ll’ to let Big O run the table. Lord Kendrick sounds great with his new vocal range, surprising since it used to be pretty deep.
The hits continue but, unfortunately, sales are slumping. Big O and the Cohorts are determined to hang on however. Like with claws or something.
This is IMPORTANT MESSAGE is
Brought to you by
The real Faux news- we describe, you decide.
And while we’re talking about racism here is some practical advice for activists, Libertarians, Catholics, and any of the fore mentioned in combination. Technically not Anti-Progressive humor but something some folks get called sometimes by Progressives
This was attached to the above post in a earlier draft.
How I deal with being called a racist.
Practical advice for a common concern*
I gently tell the accuser I prefer the term non-violent ethnic bigot** and ask them to please get it straight. If it’s a friendly environment I go on to explain I also participate in subversive political activities and use it as an opportunity to pass out Libertarian literature. If it is an unfriendly environment I tell them religion is more important than race and if they’re not Catholic they’re burning in Eternal Hell. If they are Catholic I tell them they shouldn’t be talking to me like that. Spitting on the ground and crossing
one’s self is an optional, though effective, touch.
*Not guaranteed to work for everyone. As we all know, one size doesn’t always fit all.
** Gotta turn that PC mess round y’all, throw that mess around!
Offering praise as criticism, an old classic! As well as trying to influence popular culture. It refers to Joy Behar's insult of Sharon Angle
The New B-Word; it’s a thing of Joy!
In honor of Joy Behar’ stunning achievement of becoming the living emblem of Progressivist – Pseudo-liberals I created a word in her honor. The new word is ‘behar’.
While I haven’t worked out a precise definition it indicates something that is rude and hypocritical presented in a theatrical manner. It could be used in many ways as in telling someone to stop the behar. Another might to tell some poor unfortunate that they were acting like a behar. Someone might comment ‘that was a real behar. There are many examples. Like it’s namesake it is very versatile. As its inventor I, of course, encourage its use. I want all to spread its use all across our great land, right after they vote.
Sometimes one offers words of encouragement and some times those words go horribly wrong OR Backfires and misfires.
A much noticed number, the hit that started all! Racism is a common attribute attributed to some folks. This was meant as best wishes from someone who has been called that and a handy Spanish lesson for Election Day. It got me the desire I craved, attention, just not in a way that I wanted. After this little debacle, I opted for more orthodox behavior though not necessarily thought processes, though I’m still trying to get the kinks out.
There is racism in the Tea Party! Read up!
There is racism in the Tea Party, I just haven’t seen signs of it yet’, is a thought echoed by many a serious pundit. Keeping that in mind, I some special words to devotees of these so-called ‘tea parties’.
Dear racist Tea Party fanatics,
I really mean it
Your racist Texan Libertarian friend
libertarianphilip at redstate.com
Happy Election Day 2010. Vote!
Feliz Dia de las Elecciones! Vota! Vaya con Dios!
*a brief helpful hint for dealing with this hateful condition will be revealed in following post.I am grateful for the opportunity to indulge in bomb throwing.
Thanks for your support!
This previous diary was meant as some well intentioned advice for everyone really, on this occasion to activists, a common sentiment that here, is reduced to a short poem.
I wrote a poem.
Most so called ‘poetry’ today is garbage. This is probably no exception. I am an arrogant man so I posted it. Caveat America.
A simple rule for interesting times
In darkness, in half-light, or by the brightness of day
If monsters you see, then monsters you slay
If not, you become food for the feast
A morsel digesting inside of a beast
* I have a copyright on this (really).
Next to the Lastly,
A pitiful cry for help technically, not Anti-Progressive but they don’t see it that way (as written). Try running this on one of their sites or publications and see what happens. Make your up your own version of this contest for Halloween. You can even pass out treats like pocket Constitutions and copies of the Fountainhead. Make you own special blend. Good research tool.
I read DEAD PEOPLE! *
In keeping with the holiday season I am posting a list of some deceased persons. They are people I never met and whose writings and lives have had a strong influence on me.
Cordwainer Smith (Dr. Paul Anthony Linebarger)
Emily Meriwether Post
Who are some of your favorites? Join this fun and easy contest*!
Have a special and safe October Holiday!
*Must be a dead person who you never met. No prize will be rewarded. Previous séances and channeling will result in a disqualification. Tax, title, and license not included. Void where prohibited. Sorry Washington D.C.!
Before anyone starts conducting armchair psychoanalysis this is a partial list with a certain qualification.
Lastly, if you’ve read this far, I have stolen two things from you and also from www.redstate.com , Now I wish to give them back. The first one is your time and secondly, this little joke. Here’s the joke.
I brought your donkey back, with some modifications*
Thank you Moe Lane.
* No. It wasn’t meant for you dear reader. I thought it was funny. It’s a joke. Comics, always trying have the last word! Let’s see who does. I know it won’t be me. I’ll come back and check, in disguise of course. As we all know, ‘ distance lends enchantment to the view.