« BACK  |  PRINT

RS

MEMBER DIARY

The truth regarding Sarah Palin’s new grandson [PARODY]

Eighteen-year-old Bristol Palin, daughter of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, has given birth to a 7 pound 7 ounce baby boy, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, the first child of Bristol and fiancé Levi Johnston.

I can only guess with a fair degree of scientific certainty what is going through noted and confused blogger A. Sullivan’s mind:

A-HA! Seven pounds! Seven ounces! Yea, though the number seven rules all, for it is the only integer which cannot be divided into the circle of 360! There were seven vowels in the ancient Greek alphabet! Indeed, Seven is the number, and the number is Seven! For there are seven stars in the Big Dipper! A-HA! Seven. The evil number of a great fraud perpetrated on the American voter!

ERGO, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnson was switched with Trig Paxson Van Palin, and they are interchangeable with the number seven! Neither baby was fathered by Scott Palin or Levi Johnston, for they were sired by Gary Cherone and Sammy Hagar, respectively. As photographic evidence shows, neither child was delivered from Sarah or Bristol Palin. The mother is Madonna, as was foretold by the seven Sephiroth of the Kabbalah.

Another shot of rum, please, and make it a triple. I shall do the gumshoe bit again to free the Palestinians by getting to the bottom of the birthing of Tzipi Livni.

The world is a happier place for all this, yep.

Get Alerts