An inside look at Ron ”The Nutjob” Paul’s presidential campaign strategy
RON PAUL WAS OVERHEARD TALKING AT HIS CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS
I guess Ron Paul’s new campaign strategy is……..I have the same foreign policy ideas that Jimmy Carter had. I also have the same ”F” rating on immigration policy from NUMBERS USA as Barack Obama. And I openly declare that conservative groups and other people who oppose Islam or the mosque at Ground Zero are racist. Not to mention that I have publically endorsed far left anti business and anti american candidates like Ralph Nader and Cynthia Mckinney when they ran for office. And to top it all off, I am a career politican who knows how to bring home more wasteful pork for my constituents than any other congressman. Vote for Ron Paul for the DEMOCRATIC nominee for president in 2012.
What do you mean I am running as a Republican??? Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.
Ok, I guess I need a ”Ron the Con” super strategy that will get people to pay attention to the conservative phrases I utter, instead of my actual voting record. I know, i will attract all the ”conspiracy wackos” by starting a catchy mantra. Let’s go with………….Audit the Fed. And hopefully if I say this mantra long enough people wont figure out that I have been on the take in Washington since dinosaurs roamed the earth, and I still havent been able to get that darn Fed audited.
And I will naturally point out my impressive track record of getting legislation passed during my time in congress. Umm, on second thought maybe I better skip that idea.
And I got absolutely destroyed the last the two times I ran for president. In fact, 19 OUT OF 20 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY VOTERS REJECTED MY CANDIDACY LAST ELECTION. That is because I am a total loser and not really a conservative republican. But I need to sucker the people that live in their parents basement to send me some more money. My paulbots will be easy to fleece for more money if they think I can win the presidency. Hmm, I have just the angle. I will get my paulbots to spam up all the presidential internet polls so I appear be a viable candidate. I will then run a ”moneybomb” asking for donations from those very same followers since the polls now show that I can win.
Finally I will point out the many ways that I have helped the economy grow. Hmmm, there must be something i can point out. Anything? Ok, my followers have caused Alcoa stock to double in value. Alcoa makes Reynolds Wrap(used to make tinfoil hats).