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RS

FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

Are you not busy this morning, and live in Green Bay, WI?

Looking for something to do?

You can go see Senator Biden in a town hall! Yup, there are still tickets available: all you have to do is call ahead, wait until the office that has the tickets is open, go over to the office, wait until 9 AM and the tickets are available, fight through the rush to get the tickets, get the tickets, then drive really really fast on Rt 141 on a Monday morning in order to miss no more than twenty, thirty minutes of Biden’s town hall meeting, tops (yup, it starts at the same time that the tickets are available{*}). Then, after you park (note the lack of the word “free” in the parking descriptions), you can hand off your ticket to a representative of the same group that you just got the ticket from a couple of miles and half an hour ago, and settle in to listen to Biden finish his beginning of his answer to the first question that he was asked. (Via AoSHQ Top Headlines)

How cool is that?

You’re probably wondering why they bothered at this late date. Well, aside from the need to get the KI Center filled up, consider this story (first read of in a Niven/Pournelle novel:

Once upon a time, there was a customs agent and a notorious smuggler. The smuggler would come up to the customs checkpoint every day, smugly smiling and with a wheelbarrow full of items, and every day the customs agent would – knowing that the smuggler was clearly involved in a plot of some kind – go through those items with a fine-tooth comb. The customs agent could never find anything wrong, though, no matter how hard he tried. This went on for some time.

Years and years later, when both the customs agent and smuggler were old and retired, they ran into each other. The customs agent said, “Look, I can’t prosecute you now and the mystery’s driving me nuts. Besides, we both know that you want to tell me anyway. So come clean: what the heck were you smuggling?”

The smuggler laughed. “Wheelbarrows.”

And now you know why the form to get the tickets probably had spaces for address, home phone number, cell phone number, and email – but probably not for work phone.

Moe Lane

{*}To be fair, the tickets have been available since Saturday. To be cruel, apparently they aren’t moving very fast, although Biden’s probably clocking in at at least 50 centiPalins right now, which wouldn’t normally be all that bad for the poor guy right now, all things considered.

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