« BACK  |  PRINT

RS

FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

Palin shoots Bigfoot!

Why did no one tell me that the *Weekly World News* was now online?

From my point of view, it just disappeared one day, apparently to get sucked into some other tabloid – which was just not the same. The heavens might fall, the seas could rise, the sun be eaten by the moon, the Red Sox might even win the World Series… but the WWN never, ever betrayed me. It was always full of the most entertaining nonsense, picked with a keen eye for the zeitgeist – which is a fancy way of saying, “they knew what the audience wanted.”

I wept when it was gone. Wept.

So enjoy (Via HAH).

Palin Bags a Bigfoot

WASILLA, AK – Records and eyewitnesses have come to light that prior to announcing her candidacy for the Vice Presidency; Sarah Palin shot a Bigfoot from a helicopter.

A government helicopter was seen flying low over the Chugach National Park with what witnesses described as “a sexy librarian shooting out the side.” Employees at a local bait shop report seeing a similar woman only hours before carrying an infant in a camouflage Baby Bjorn.

Read the whole thing, especially the part at the end about John Adams and the Skunk Ape. And when I say read the whole thing, I mean the whole thing – their election coverage compares favorably to that of the New York Times.

Get Alerts