Robert Fulghum wasn't quite right. We didn't learn everything we needed to know in Kindergarten. All through school, I thought I was a free American citizen, living in a democratic nation, electing representatives to, more or less, do the people's will.
Yesterday, 15 years after receiving a Master's Degree, I learned what I really am: a serf, ruled by Kings and Queens on Capitol Hill.
Their Highnesses are attended by Court Ladies, Lords, and Lobbyists, shiploads of earnest staff members and assorted sycophants, who are devoted and/or obligated to the Royals.
Capitol Hill Police serve the elite entourages, working with Court attendants to protect them from angry, powerless serfs who provide labor, food and funds for the system.
Since the Middle Ages, a new branch of Media devotees has appeared, relentlessly inflating royal egos and skewed perspectives.
And no matter the age, jesters abound.
But yesterday began as another Tea Party Day on Capitol Hill. Still unaware of their true peasant status, thousands of Americans and I again traveled to Washington without pitchforks. Hordes of real, regular American citizens returned to Capitol Hill, bussed from places as far away as Michigan, California, and other "pudding-states" that provide clear proof Liberal Governance fails abjectly and every time.
I saw several familiar faces from previous protest rallies, citizens like me who don't give up and must have a lot of Scotch-Irish or Frederick Douglass blood in them.
I even saw the man who looked like Santa Claus, the packbacker I met in the Metro on 9/12. He was smiling and had trimmed his long white beard for the big day.
For those who don't really know what we stand for, Tea Party Patriots are faithful American citizens who support fiscal conservatism; capitalism; limited American government; low taxes; solid national defense; a strong military; individual responsibility; strict constructionism of our Constitution; swift, sure sentencing; enforcement of strict immigration laws; common sense, conservative, clear BigPicture thinking. Many of us support Term-Limits.
Regardless of political affiliation, Tea Party Patriot supporters include all American citizens who oppose bankrupting our nation.
If we see them at all, us common folk can't get close to America's Kings and Queens. Our only recourse is to sign Guest Books in their waiting-rooms, or to crowd Upper Senate Parks yelling "Kill the Bill!"
Yesterday, 15 December 2009, thousands of us dressed in Red and did both. Before and after gathering to hear like-minded speakers, we poured into the empty Chambers of America's half-empty monarchs.
Because it seemed like a good time to deliver my 5th plea to him, I broke away from my small group to visit King Lieberman I's Office.
Dozens of serfs and their families lined the hall outside the Connecticut King's office. I took a seat in the Ante-Chamber and began my letter.
Eight at a time, peons paraded past me. They appeared sad, bewildered, angry, defiant, or sullen.
A well-fed, unsmiling, officious young staffer (most are young, nice and seriously unseasoned) asked what I was doing and how much longer I'd be. I told him and he replied that I'd have to leave soon. I asked why. He said I was in a private office and couldn't loiter. I told him I was sitting in a public office and not loitering. He said my visit needed to end. Again, I stated I was in the public office of a publicly elected official, and I'd leave when I finished my letter. He repeated that King Lieb's office was private and that I was wrong. He said if I didn't leave in a few minutes, he'd call the Police. I asked him to do that so the Police could educate me about my rights. He disappeared behind a door and I never saw him again.
I finished my letter and left. I found 2 Capitol Hill Police who confirmed that the Royal Offices are public.
But I'm still a serf.
Later, another fiscal conservative publicly recounted that someone in King Lieberman's office also threatened to have him and his entire party arrested.
Having delivered my 5th futile letter to King Lieb (foolishly begging him to be brave and act like a "true" man), I rejoined my group.
Our Philadelphia Tea Party Patriot leader had secured a 12:30 appointment with Pennsylvania's King Casey's assistants. Little did she know, that the staff members told everyone to meet in the same room, at the same time.
Shame on us for thinking we'd get a private audience with royal attendants.
A liberal Lord and Lady stood at the front of the conference room. The balding Lord revealed he had absolutely no comprehension of how half of America thinks or why. He made it clear that he could care less, and that the only polls he sees or wants to see are conducted by the Left, those which reveal that the majority of Americans favor the public option in the Democrat version of "Health Care" Reform.
Lord ConnLib seethed with anger and contempt that peasants had the timerity to contradict his royal findings. A classic Dickensian character, the man grew red, with eyes and bow-tie popping.
One Tea Party Patriot in the room was a highly educated peon, an MD and an MBA. King Casey's Lord shook with anger when this woman cited how the appallingly reckless "Kitchen-Sink" Health Bill would raise taxes and America's already psychotic deficit.
The ConnLady tried smiling, but it was clear she too was steeped in Liberal gibberish, regardless of majority Pennsylvania opinions about the proposed Health Care scam.
She nervously worked her Blackberry as we talked. After 15 minutes of never-the-twain-shall-meet arguments, another pompous "Lady" walked in on our meeting, and told us we'd have to wrap it up.
Most Americans now know that, after giving us a 15-minute bone, the Liberal Monarchs are all about shutting us up. They just can't take it. Not so long ago, every serf in that room would have been hanged for treason.
As of today, it looks like another Democrat disaster looms, with Monarchs poised to resume control of a major portion of the economy.
Among other things, this American tragedy reminds me of the first OJ Trial. The serfs know what should happen, but the Liberal Monrachs could care less about justice, courage, integrity, or history. They just keep on keeping on until America crashes and burns. They don't need to care about losing their jobs or heads. Most are unserious, power-crazed cowards with the wisdom of radishes.
After all our Tea Party Patriot visits, phone calls, Town Halls, letters, Faxes, and pleas, no matter the proof or the pudding, nothing moves today's Liberal Monarchs past the cakes on their plate.
Yet, as with most tragedies, there's a silver lining. The election of Barack Obama will remind us that most Americans were both blind and color-blind. It warns those citizens with short memories to wise up, including all the myopic Republicans and Independents who weren't thinking about truth, consequences, or their country.