My nephew calls Model T's old-timey cars. It's also a good description for Americans who go to church and know who Henry Ford was.
Old-timeys believe in liberty, hard work, honest accounting, small government, strong defense, charity for the needy, and solid American traditions.
They believe in God's positive teachings, and think men like Jimmy Stewart set standards for great acting skills.
They believe that fine art is more than what's in a beholder's roving eye.
They despise tyranny and tyrants, and quickly identify both.
They know that white trash is no different that black garbage. Both stink and both are supposed to be buried right away.
Americans who are not old-timey, a large and growing number, would like to ride us off the road.
Like the cars, old-timey Americans have different values and come in different colors, including Ford's favorite black. Most run well enough and clean up fine. They're fueled by certain principles, without which they crash.
My brother-in-law, a lapsed Catholic, once declared that the Bible contained everything we need to know about how to live well.
If that's a principle lapsed has learned, it sounds like real progress.
Not the kind of progress today's unprincipled BLUES want you to make, where you get to scrape, bow, and break under their secular authority...where they make the rules, we follow them, and they have different rules for themselves.
Not the kind of progress where lies trump truths daily and in our face.
Not the kind of progress today's BLUES cower behind, where people who are scooters, pretend to be Cadillacs.
Where males named Wright, Jealous, Frank, Dodd, Farrakhan, Gore, Edwards and Rangel do what peacocks always do, no matter what their color, of course:
Puff up, prevaricate, shout, don titles, robes, loud ties and floppy foulards.
They aim for as much power, money and publicity as possible, God's minimalist teachings be damned.
Most of them have crippling father issues, and it shows every time. They are bomabastic, often hateful, extremely insecure males, who crave power, and will do or say anything to feel like BigShots.
Some of them are so absurd, you feel you're watching a play, until you realize it's your Government in action.
Now that more female peacocks are in the mix, we're assured they can be worse than males.
You'd think Americans had seen enough movies to spot these phonies fast, and vote accordingly. Yet half of us still haven't made that much progress.
Some, who once knew better, keep changing their minds about what is right and what's wrong, about what works and who does not.
But old-timey black females know a lot about male peacocks, as much or more than most white mamas.
They know what works and who doesn't. They know these putative "BigShots" aren't real men, just males with issues.
I was lucky enough to be raised by such a female. Not a black woman like Michelle Obama or Whoopi Goldberg, but a black lady like Marian Anderson.
This lady had more white blood than Barack Obama, faced and conquered troubles he'll never know. She made Shirley Sherrod look like Marie Antoinette.
This lady simply loved God, Jesus Christ, America, and Ray Charles. She lived her faith and had more common sense in her little finger than Obama has in his family tree.
Her adversities added to the strong old-timey character she inherited from her ancestors, both black and white. She was wise, loving, fun, and I never heard her complain about anything but black, white, and brown snakes.
She was embarrassed when her blighted black husband went on benders, as she continued to do the right thing, because her favorite book told her so.
Like this great lady and most TeaPartyPatriots, many of us are born old-timey. Others have to be carefully taught.
The good news is you don't have to be old to be old-timey. You just have to be grounded by a loving God, and fueled by common sense. If not, you crash, along with everyone else on what once was a highway.