Like Mitt Romney, Herman Cain and most of us, Mark Twain had to learn what it meant to be an actual grown-up. No businessman, Twain matured through real-life experiences, best expressed by his literary sons, Tom, Huck and Jim.
Twain used to "poke fun" at his own father for reminding him how much he had to learn. When he did progress, little Sammy Clemens marveled at how much his "old man" had advanced.
It's occurred to me that Barack Obama was never blessed in this way. Like Huck Finn, he was raised without decent parents. Yet, unlike Huck, no one ever taught Obama how much he had to learn.
Sure, young Barry grew up with versions of Aunt Polly and the Widow Douglas. But in his formative years, he never had the guidance of a wise man like Jim, the pivotal player in Twain's masterpiece, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.
Now that Barack Obama's president, it's much harder to tell him what Conservatives have long known: he's another inexperienced professor with a lot to learn.
Within Obama's Democrat party, someone with the stature of Jim is nowhere to be seen. Most of his Liberal staff and media minions are as green as Obama himself. As clever and industrious as they are, none has the wisdom that comes with age and experience.
Moreover, for him and others not grounded in common sense, today's Ivy League colleges didn't bridge the gap, they made it worse. They led most of their students inward, not outward.
Unfortunately for him, Obama's wife is no source of sagacity either. Instead, "Michelle Nouvelle" is as hopeless as her mate, another pseudo-patriot and Democrat diva feeling fully entitled to decimate our hard-earned taxpayer dollars.
At "the new 40," Obama's a man-child who sincerely believes he's "the grown-up in the room." He's convinced he knows what he's doing in the face of rational, incontrovertible proof he's wrong.
Obama's not likely to learn or admit how much he doesn't know. But the majority of Americans are. All those voters who married their idol in 2008, grew up and learned the meaning of "ill-advisedly and lightly." They're already promising to do better in 2012.
Out front ahead of them are millions of other citizens who knew it was past time for a real grown-up in the White House. And while America's getting serious, let's put one in the West Wing too.
Of course we need experienced leaders and accomplished job creators. We need to elect more sensible, mature adults who have at least raised adolescents, lived through it and other life-and-death struggles. Most important, we need honest men who grew up in solid, loving households...unless America wants more degraded, dysfunctional males debasing the presidency and wreaking havoc at every turn.
During Obama's 3 years in office, America's more debilitated than ever. Protesting from behind, a few noted Libs are getting the gist. Others, who think like Mark Twain and mostly dead Democrats, wait for young Barry to grow up and get it.
In fact, many Conservatives wonder about Liberals in general. Can they ever really grow up and get it without having served, helped run a business, supported themselves, lived on a budget or hand-to-mouth on the Mississippi with Jim?
Still, I'm betting Americans in both parties, broke and unbroke, want presidents and vice-presidents they can truly be proud of. Since self-described Liberals weigh-in at 20%, 2012's the year clear-headed thinkers can and should elect 2 wise, well-grounded, well-adjusted males to represent the Republican RedTeam.
As Providence would have it, we have 3 wise men in next year's race. Newt Gingrich could hold 2 Cabinet jobs at once. But Romney and Cain are the candidates who can be elected in 2012. Above all, they are the great grandfathers in this race who got there the old-fashioned way. Poised and prepared to win a lot more than one for America, they earned it.