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Senator Bill Nelson (D-FL) And Proper Testicle Maintenance In Africa

Florida is going to be one of the KEY battleground states in the 2012. Indeed, considering how staunchly Democratic both New York and California are,  the “Sunshine State” will likely be the most hotly contested state in the Union.  While that may be good news for the local TV and radio industry in terms of ad revenue, it will a) extremely costly for ALL candidates running statewide and b) Extremely Nasty.

So let me throw the first stone!

Now I might be a plain old simple country boy, but I can’t help thinking that one of the memes that will be a major line of attack against Obama and his congressional minions will be the handling of all issues economic. This means holding accountable Democrat incumbents who voted for Obama’s essentially bankrupt, partisan and all around ridiculous economic vision, plan and budgets.

Because it has become painfully obvious that Obama has driven the nation into a “fiscal ditch”, Florida Senator Bill Nelson (until this week, an Obama clone as far as his voting record is concerned) has now begun the crucial process of somehow separating himself from Obama in an effort to buttress his most important and cherished principle, getting re-elected U.S. Senator regardless of how bad he has screwed our country. Therefore, it is very important that we of the opposition make sure to keep Floridians painfully aware the Bill Nelson VOTED FOR the trillion dollar stimulus, the massive 2010 budget and the absolutely lunatic and incoherent Obamacare plan. He can run, but he can’t hide.

Let me state in no uncertain terms: It’s all about getting re-elected for this man (and his ilk), not what he can do for the country.  How else do you explain this Nelson’s voting against both the Republican and Obama budget plan’s this week?  Such a move exposes Bill Nelson to the core: In the long run, all he gives a damn about is remaining in the exclusive Senate “Club”.  Bill Nelson is that all too familiar combination of narcissism and arrogance that is the hallmark of the career politician.

As my tens of faithful readers know, I warned you about the hazards of electing a Senator who thinks he has to resort to plastic surgery to stay relevant…*

My advice to the Republican Party Of Florida:  Start hammering Nelson’s indefensible actions of the past two years.  Hit him hard and keep hitting him until election day and then by damn, hit him for a few days more.  Show him no mercy (rhetorically wise).  Start with this interview and make Nelson defend “Turbo Tax” Tim Geithner , make him defend Obamacare and all the subsequent waivers (including the ENTIRE STATE OF MAINE), make him defend all of Obama’s apologies for America’s “Past Sins”, and, above all, make him defend “Porkulus” (For example, why did he vote in favor of almost a million bucks to be spent to teach men in Africa how to properly wash their testicles and penis? ).

Think of the commercial potential ads with this last fact: Just parody Jeopardy:

Contestant: “I’ll Take ‘Really Stupid Stuff To Spend U. S. Taxpayers Money On’ for $200, Alex.

Game Show Host: “The answer is:  ‘Proper Testicle Maintenance For Sub-Saharan Africa’ “

Contestant: “What Did Senator Bill Nelson (D-Dirty-Huevos)  Vote For in 2009?”

Game Show Host: “Correct!”

I mean, here we are staring at financial insolvency, resurgent Islamic-Fascism, rising energy and fuel costs, the dumping of a trillions of dollars of debt on American generations to come and one of Bill Nelson’s priorities was voting FOR a million bucks worth of instructions on proper washing of African genitals?

I mean, you can’t make this stuff up.  If so much wasn’t at stake, it would be laughable.  Instead, it’s a picture perfect example of what is wrong in our Nation’s capitol.

*Truth In Blogging: I also have had plastic surgery.  I had the toenails on both my left and right “Great Toes” permanently removed.  It enhanced my sex appeal dramatically. (Which is a sad comment on my sex appeal to begin with….)

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