Gee...that was fast.
Hey Khalib…hand me that 5/8ths wrench.
Does anyone remember the true blood for oil war? The war on Libya….?
Well don’t feel bad. A lot of people have forgot about it. It wasn’t really even a war actually.
If it was a war then Barack Obama would of had to consult Congress for their approval. It was just a “Kinetic Military Action” and apparently those only need a resolution from the U.N. and you’re free to bomb away with American jets as long as France and the Arab League says OK.
They were cool with it.
It was all about the civilians you know. Don’t be killing civilians on Obama’s watch. He don’t like it. He’s got a doctrine against that or something and they even named it after him.
The Samantha Powers Doctrine.
So anyway….there we were. Happily and forcefully militarily kineticizing against Col. Muammar Quaddaffi…Khadafi…Gaddaffi….Qadafi…(who the hell knows how you spell it) and pushing his forces back and bombing his guys to protect the civilians and the rebels. And there we were…bombing the rebels too if they got out of line and were also killing civilians.
Obama don’t play favorites. He is an equal opportunity bomber.
So this goes on for a few days and we catch news reports of fighting going back and forth. The rebels are winning. Qaddafy is winning , then the rebels are advancing then retreating.
I don’t know…it was all so confusing.
All I know is that there were a lot of Toyota pickups with machine guns and rocket launchers mounted on them going back and forth.
I always wondered. Where do you get that done…? The body shop? Muhammed’s tire and artillery ?
“Come on in to Muhammed’s tire and artillery. We got a great spring offensive special. An oil change, a tire rotation and a .50 caliber mounting all for the low low price of $99.99 It’s craaaazzzzyy”
Wouldn’t that make a good reality show instead of Axe Men which btw means something totally different in the Middle East. (Hint: It ain’t trees they be chopping)
They could call it Dirt Road Launchers or maybe Deadliest Hatchback. I don’t know.
They could follow two groups of pickups with rocket launchers on them and see who does best.
“Meanwhile out in Benghazi, Team Achmed is having some difficulties”
Hey Amir..who broke the -bleep- latch on this -bleep- launcher you-bleepin’ bleep bleep-
But out in Brega,Team Abdul just bagged it’s quota of two empty buildings and they’re way in the lead.”
It could have been interesting. Anything would have been more interesting than the actual war…er Kinetic Action. You never really knew who to root for. Khadaffy or Al-Qaeda.
Don’t get me wrong. I like a good little war as much as the next guy. It’s the only time you get to see Anderson Copper wearing a canvas vest or Geraldo selling out some rebels but picking a winner was tough.”
Even Obama bailed out after just a few days and gave it over to ..ahem...”NATO” which by no means still meant us. What can I say…? He just wasn’t in to it anymore and some Canadian guy took over….I think. Or were the French running it. Aw.. who knows ? Who cares….?
But I digest.
Now it seems this unusually lame war, non-war Kinetic bluh blah blah might soon come to an end.
After all the trouble we went to to hand it off to whoever would admit to participating in this boring little dust up it now appears as if the African Union is finally going to step in and do one of those jobs that Americans won’t do.
They are going to broker a cease fire.
All those those cruise missiles for nothing.
South Africa Leader Says Libya Accepts Cease-Fire Plan.
TRIPOLI, Libya – A delegation of African leaders said Sunday that their Libyan counterpart Moammar Qaddafi accepted their “road map” for a cease-fire with rebels, whom they will meet with Monday. They met hours after NATO airstrikes battered Qaddafi’s tanks, helping Libyan rebels push back government troops that had been advancing quickly toward the opposition’s eastern stronghold.
Hey…who doesn’t like peace ?
“We have completed our mission with the brother leader, and the brother leader’s delegation has accepted the road map as presented by us,” said South African President Jacob Zuma. He traveled to Tripoli with the heads of Mali and Mauritania to meet with Qaddafi, whose more than 40-year rule has been threatened by the uprising that began nearly two months ago.
“We will be proceeding tomorrow to meet the other party to talk to everybody and present a political solution,” Zuma said. He called on NATO to end airstrikes to “give the cease-fire a chance.”
I’m not sure why they had to bring heads. It must be a Middle Eastern thing. They love chopping stuff.
Their version of the Slap Chop is a little different if you know what I mean.
So if this goes through then I guess that’s it.
Obama started a war and now it may be soon over.
Like it never happened.
Gosh…it’s sure going to be awkward bumping into Muammar at the U.N.