The top 9 most crazy things Hickenlooper said in under 10 minutes
He said all of these things . . . out loud
** Promoted from the diaries. Kelly Maher is the Executive Director of Revealing Politics and a personal friend. - Aaron**
There’s been plenty of media coverage on Colorado Governor Hickenlooper’s meeting with the Colorado Sheriffs in Aspen last Friday. We at Revealing Politics made several videos from the meeting, and as we edited them, realized it was tough to follow all the critical, revealing, and downright frightening points made about the 2013 Colorado gun laws. CBS 4′s Shaun Boyd put it best “Hickenlooper didn’t just put his foot in his mouth, he seemed to get it stuck there.”
So, to make it easy for you, we have compiled the top 9 most insane things Governor Hickenlooper said in just 10 minutes to the Colorado Sheriffs:
1) Let’s stick to the facts. I never talked to Mayor Bloomberg
For a guy who has a really tough time making complete and declarative sentences, this was actually one of the clearest things Hickenlooper said throughout his whole speech. Unfortunately, it’s not true. This week, Hick’s spokesman tried to walk back that untruth, saying that the Governor “misspoke”. The fact is, when someone says something so clearly they preface with “Let’s stick to the facts,” it’s not misspeaking, it’s just clearly stating something that is factually inaccurate.
*As an aside, the Governor’s spokesperson, Eric Brown, said that what the Governor MEANT to say was that, yes, Hickenlooper talked to Bloomberg, but that the conversation had no bearing on his decision to sign the gun bills. So, let’s get this straight, Governor Hickenlooper talked to the head of the most infamous and well-funded gun-control organization in the country, at one point FOR TWELVE MINUTES, right as the critical votes were happening, and it had no bearing on his decision? Right. Sure. Whatever you say.
2) I didn’t know you wanted to meet with me
REALLY? I mean, really? We had, and I am not making this up, over 40 sheriffs (and I promise you, I have seen them, you CANNOT miss them) walking around the capitol in Denver begging to talk to anyone who would listen about their concerns with the constitutionality of the gun bills. They drove in from all over the state to testify, and many were turned away and ignored. They also sent a LETTER asking to meet with Governor Hickenlooper on the issue. This is similar to a situation where someone says, “Oh, I didn’t see your text” when they’re so dumb that they forgot to turn off their read receipts on their phone and you know they DID, in fact, see it.
3) Funny story: we screwed that up completely
This is one of the most bizarre stream of consciousness 15 seconds I’ve seen from any politician not running on the platform of the rent being too high, and at least that guy had a message. Universal background checks . . . funny story . . . we really screwed up. So wait, was the funny story that you screwed up? That’s not funny.
4) Fake self-deprecatingly not bright
Hickenlooper is so bright he didn’t realize signing exceptionally poorly-written and thoughtless gun control legislation, drafted by people who don’t know anything about guns, would be controversial, in a Western state. Hey Hick, your East Coast is showing.
5) There were, like . . . too many things
No. There weren’t. There was one thing. Those of us who were in Colorado and had access to things like T.V., the Internet, and newspapers (that’s a paper thing that used to show up at your house, it’s like the Internet on paper but with fewer cats) realized it was a big deal. Actually, it was the BIGGEST deal. Cars circled the Capitol (where the Governor’s office happens to be) with irate citizens honking in protest for hours on end. People showed up by the thousands to testify against the gun bills. Any derivation of “I was too distracted to know what was happening” is not sufficient.
6) Facts after the fact
I can’t. I just can’t. This is sucking my will to live.
7) My staffer promised I would sign it, but we didn’t think it would pass anyway
This is actually a two-fer on the magazine limit bill. First, is it just me or is this the MOST chicken justification of a bill signature EVER to hide behind a staffer? “Well, my staffer said so . . .” Did she hold his hand and force him to sign the bill too? Maybe after a few rounds of the classic game “stop hitting yourself”?
To top off number seven, don’t worry, it’s fine that Hickenlooper is doing his job of governing the whole state though staff proxies who promised his signature on the bill, because they didn’t think he’d actually have to sign it anyway. This is a strange justification considering that Democrats control both chambers in the legislature and are notorious vote-whips. But I digress. When faced with the actual signature, and knowing the very real cost to jobs in Colorado, freedoms and the economy, we can all rest easier knowing that Hickenlooper signed the bill because his staffer promised he would, but never thought he would actually have pull the trigger. Luckily, it was all worth it because the magazine ban is effective in making people more safe, right? Wrong. See number 8.
8) The magazine ban actually does nothing
Well, there you have it. Lots of consternation and division to keep the staffer’s promise, and it was all for nothing. Tell the formerly Colorado-based company, Magpul, that the bill actually doesn’t do anything. Because as the Governor says, there’s no way to enforce it, and what difference did it make, some punk kid from Aurora who wants to go out and start spray-shooting his neighborhood isn’t gonna have a hard time finding a magazine. ::shrug::
9) What. The. Eff. (Warning: NSFW)
If a big and important Governor apologizes for not taking time to talk to a supermajority of the top elected law enforcement officials in his state, while considering laws that will effect their everyday lives, that apology should be enough. Does he need to keep apologizing? WTF?