Rafael Volquez, PhD
Harvard Review of Science
Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have broken new ground with a controversial claim. During research conducted since October 2007, they have found that the new President of the United States, Barack Obama has certain traits which make him "genetically and mentally superior to the average person."
Such research included genome sequencing and the examination of portions of the President's brain matter. During this research, which was okayed by the President's family, the researchers began to discover some particular things.
"We went into the research trying to find genetic predispositions to cancer or Alzheimer's." states Tony Kawazaki, head of the Human Genome Department. "Instead what we started to find were strange traits that seemed a little incredulous."
[just so everyone knows, this is supposed to be satire. Closed. --streiff]