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Toddlers Riot in Nation’s Daycare Centers in Wake of Casey Anthony Acquittal

Mere minutes after a jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of murdering her daughter, toddlers all across the nation broke out in riots to protest the verdict.  Tipping plastic chairs and tables over, throwing toys all over the place, massive food fights, and worse, daycare providers all across the country found themselves in the midst of an angry bunch of 18 month, 2, and 3 year olds.

“It was terrible,” said Melissa Marshall, a daycare provider from Lexington, Kentucky.  “They tied me to a chair and started throwing their poopy diapers at me.  Then they made a complete mess of the floor and smeared their poop all over the center.  Finally, they forced me watch countless episodes of the Gilmore Girls all afternoon while they threw crap at the television.  I’ve never seen them act out this terribly- ever.

PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka himself narrowly escaped abject humiliation at the hands of a rough gang of two year olds who terrorized a daycare center he visited earlier in the day.  “The whole place just exploded when the verdict was read,” Tanaka explained.  “One toddler jumped onto a table and shouted ‘no justice; no peace’ while another kept yelling ‘Attica, Attica’ over and over.”   Thankfully, the PCW Champion was able to escape before the situation deteriorated even more.

Said PCW play by play announcer Johnny Suave, “Hmmm, sounds like your typical political gathering these days.”

 

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