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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Thursday July 28th
Host: Johnny Suave
The return of PCW’s Politics is War hits the airwaves. ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to the show and get interrupted…
‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables begins to play.
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
Independents Charlie and Kenzie Blackwell and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido walk out. Blackwell has been involved in a feud with Triple R (D) over the past couple weeks.
With Kenzie and Escondido nodding in agreement behind him, Blackwell once again ripped both parties for not ‘doing their jobs’ on coming to an agreement on the PCW debt. Blackwell says he went online to American Public Media: Budget Hero…
…and was able to reduce the national debt by half, shrink the percentage of debt to the GDP by over half, and shrink the size of government by 5% in 10 years. Blackwell adds his budget balanced in 2016 and produced a 790B surplus by 2021.
Triple R (D) walks out and calls Blackwell naive. “You an independent. You’re afraid to take a stand.” Blackwell retorts that there’s more than two answers to a question and more often than not both the Democrats and Republicans answers over the past twenty years have been wrong. Triple R fires back that all the republicans are interested in is passing some asinine bill that Obama must veto so that they can put the blame on us. It’s nothing more than a game to them. Blackwell doesn’t defend the Republicans, but he tells Triple R it’s nothing more than a game to the Democrats as well.
Triple R charges forward and gets cut off by twenty-five of Blackwell’s Les Miserables. Suave is handed a slip of paper by guest ring announcer Jamie Chung…
…Suave announces that tonight’s main event will be a six man tag team match between:
Triple R, Big Labor, and ‘the One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I)
Blue Dog D (D) w/Joe Manchin (D-WV)
Nick Ray (R) w/Paul Ryan (R-WI) and Kevin Collins (R)
Manchin gets on the microphone and declares that he is not supporting either the Republican or Democratic plan to raise the PCW debt ceiling. “Things may be broken, but it will not break me. And you should not let it break you, either,”
Ryan counsels Ray to ‘stay the course’ and Republican Leader John Boehner knows what he’s doing.
Blue Dog D hits the Bi-Partisan Bomb on Ray and gets the win at 7:02.
Back from break, Suave is in the ring with PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban. Suave welcomes Urban to PCW and asks a few questions about her.
“YOU’RE THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!”
Current TV and PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) comes out with his FOK buddies David Shuster (D), Shannyn Moore (D), and Rachel Maddow (D). Olbermann is offended that PCW is making such a big deal over the return of the PCW Women’s division. Olbermann wants to know where the love is for him. Shuster, Moore, and Maddow all nod in agreement. Olbermann says he is more important then the return of a minor title belt and says it’s all true because everything KO says is factually accurate.
Urban looks less than pleased and takes a step towards Olbermann. Immediately, he pulls Shuster in front of him. Moore and Maddow both start chirping at the PCW Women’s champion and invite her to leave. Olbermann points to the back.
Urban turns as if she’s going to just walk away. Then she whirls around and delivers a lethal spinning heel kick to Maddow that sends her careening to the floor. Shuster looks like he’s about to crap. Moore wisely just turns and runs for it.
From behind, Glenn Beck (R) runs in and decks Olbermann from behind. Beck wails on Olbermann and takes him to the ring. It’s an impromptu match- non-title.
Glenn Beck (R) vs. PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D)
It doesn’t take long for this one to fall apart. First, Beck channeled George ‘The Animal’ Steele and tore apart the covering over the steel turnbuckle. Then it was the “Queen of Political Extreme” Ann Coulter running in to take a cheap shot at Olbermann. That brought down Markos Moulitsas (D) and Michael Moore (D). Rush Limbaugh (R) and Sean Hannity (R) joined in and then everyone streamed down to the ring.
No contest at 6:12
Sarah Palin is talking to the freshman Republican members of the PCW Competition Committee…
…and she’s wearing her leather motorcycle jacket.
Palin: “Today I re-read the open letter I wrote to Republican Freshman Members of in November 2010, just days after they were ushered into office in an historic landslide victory due in large part to the activism of commonsense patriots who are considered part of the Tea Party movement. I respectfully ask these GOP Freshman to re-read this letter and remember us ‘little people’ who believed in them, donated to their campaigns, spent hours tirelessly volunteering for them, and trusted them with our votes. This new wave of public servants may recall that they were sent to PCW for such a time as this.”
Suave: That’s interesting given what John McCain (R) said earlier tonight.
McCain: To hold out and say we won’t agree to raising the debt limit until we pass a Balanced Budget Amendment to the constitution. It’s unfair, it’s bizarre. And maybe some people have only been in this body for six or seven months or so really believe that. Others know better.”
McCain quoted extensively from a Wall Street Journal op-edthat compared tea partyers to “hobbits.”
The Bureaucrats: Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley (D)
Corporate Might: Big Oil and “The Man with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit” Kirk Walstreit (R) w/Texas Tex
Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are ringside. Republicans Mitch McConnell and John Boehner are also there.
Good back and forth match with plenty of interaction between Pelosi and Reid and McConnell and Boehner. But the power of Corporate Might is too much for The Bureaucrats tonight. Big Oil hits the Oklahoma Driller on Metzger and gets the pinfall @ 13:55
Post match, Tea Partiers Average Joe, NRA, and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay storm the ring and attack Metzger and Riley. Rand Paul (R-KY) and Sharron Angle (R-NV) have microphones and respond directly to John McCain.
Paul deadpanned that he would “rather be a hobbit than a troll,” while 2010 PCW Executive Committee candidate Angle shot back that “it is the hobbits who are the heroes and save the land.”
Backstage, Casey Anthony is engaged in deep negotiation with PCW Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner. She’s demanding 1.5 million dollars to appear in PCW.
Geithner is dithering back and forth whether to do it.
Bill Maher Promo
In the ring, Bill Maher has the microphone. He welcomes the women back to PCW…well, at least the women who are Democrats. Maher says Independents and Republicans can go back to the brothels where they came from. He compares them to Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, whom he calls dangerous nincompoops, a vainglorious braggarts, liars, whiners, professional victims, scolds, know-it-alls, chiselers, bullys who sells patriotism like pimps.
The Triple Threat: Katie Collins, ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas, and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) walk out. Maher calls them scum-sucking Republican whores and Collins attacks. Dallas hits a lariat and then wraps a rope around Maher’s neck and starts choking him out.
Code Pink (D) and Emily List (D) run down. Collins and Dallas move to stop them and receive Glitter Bombs in their eyes. Blinded, Collins and Dallas are helpless against the Code Pink/Emily List onslaught. Meanwhile, Kalee Jones pick Maher up and gives him a nasty Eskimo Pieface, slamming him face first to the floor.
Pink and List go for Jones. The Eskimo Queen ducks the Glitter Bomb and takes them down with a double clothesline. Eskimo Pieface to Code Pink. Eskimo Pieface to Emily List.
Casey Anthony vs. ???
Suave: So Timothy Geithner paid Anthony to be here. Who will be her opponent tonight?
Suave: “IT’S THE FORMER MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING CHAMPION VALORA SALINAS! THE QUEEN OF EXTREME IS IN PCW!
It takes an implant DDT, a tazzplex, and the tazzmission for Valora to win in 54 seconds.
Suave: You know, I might let Valora Salinas do that to me for 1.5 million dollars.
Triple R, ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, and ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D)
Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I)
Triple R and Blackwell have been feuding. Daniel-San and Stone Chism face off this weekend in a rematch for the TV title. Escondido is a former PCW and PCW TV champion.
Match goes to a no contest as Blackwell and Triple R travel all over the arena beating the hell out of each other. Chism spent the match running away from Daniel-San. And Big Labor’s power vs. Chris Escondido’s saavy kept the crowd involved in the match.
No contest at 12:48