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Debt Deal Done: 8/1-PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Wood County Fair
Bowling Green, Ohio
Monday August 1st, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave welcomes everyone to PCW on a night where “finally, an agreement was reached on the PCW deficit and debt.”   He shocks the crowd by introducing Gabby Giffords (D-AZ) to the crowd- her first PCW appearance since her near fatal shooting several months ago.

The crowd gives Giffords a standing ovation.

Suave: “So the compromise has passed and an agreement to reduce spending by 2.4 trillion dollars.”

Mike Doyle (D-PA) and several Democrats stomp out to the ring with Aide de Camp Joe Biden (D) and takes the microphone from Suave.  Doyle says the agreement sucks.  “We’ve negotiated with terrorists.  This small group of terrorists have made it impossible to spend any money.”  Biden agrees that the Tea Party have acted like terrorists.

This brings out the Tea Party in the form of Average Joe, NRA, ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Tromeo and Dr. Molly Greenwald.  Average Joe tells Doyle he’s full of crap.  “Tea Partiers are ordinary people fed up with the extraordinary crap going on.”  Average Joe tells Doyle that ordinary Americans don’t have the luxury of merely printing more money to pay off their debts.  Dr. Greenwald says to call them terrorists because they’re finally standing up to the special interests and demanding change shows a deep seated hatred of average Americans.

Biden immediately tries to back up on his ‘terrorist’ remark.

Average Joe fires back.  “Does this guy have a mirror in his home or office? As usual, politicians casts the blame everywhere other then where it belongs, on dem and repub elites.  For the most part, Tea Party folks seem to be listening to the citizen. The same can’t be said for republicans and democrats presently in power. The political extortion he refers to is the art of lying, misdirection, distortion, and hackery, practiced by those who’ve been in office for what seems forever. Both mainline parties are at fault for this!”

COMMERCIAL

Back from break, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews, CBS’s Norah O’Donnell, the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas, Paul Krugman, Eric Boehlert, and Arianna Huffington) have attacked the Tea Party and there’s brawling in the ring.

‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables begins to play.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Independents Charlie Blackwell and “No Frills” Chris Escondido race out with Blackwell’s Les Miserables and dive into the middle of the fracas.  Blackwell and Escondido clean house and start ejecting people from the ring.  First, Matthews.  Then Markos.  O’Donnell.  Krugman.  Boehlert.  Finally, Huffington.

*YOU’RE THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!*

PCW King of Extreme Titleholder Keith Olbermann of Current TV and his FOK buddies Shannyn Moore, David Shuster, and Rachel Maddow jump into the ring and attack Blackwell and Escondido.  Blackwell’s Les Miserables then swarm the ring and finally security arrives to try and sort all this out.

COMMERCIAL

MATCH #1
Code Pink (D) and Emily List (D) vs. The Triple Threat: Katie Collins (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R) w/Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)

This match stems from last Thursday’s brawl.  Bill Maher (D) had come out and trashed Republican and Independent women.  The Triple Threat take exception.  Code Pink and Emily List Glitter Bomb Collins and Dallas.  Jones Eskimo Piefaces Pink and List.

…Collins with a bear hug on Emily List.   List fights her way out of it and tags in Code Pink.  Pink with an elbow and then gives Collins a pair of shotgun knees.  Then Pink connects with a facewash kick for a two count.  List sneaks back in and tries to get a Glitter Bomb but Kalee Jones jumps in, grabs her, and tosses her out of the ring.  Code Pink misses the leg lariat and Collins locks in the PPD (Personal Political Destructor) for the win @ 8:25

Suave describes the high emotion backstage as everyone comes to terms with the deficit/debt agreement.  “Perhaps, emotions are running too hot.”

BACKSTAGE
Doug Lamborn (R-Colorado): “Even if some people say, well the Republicans should have done this or they should have done that, they will hold Obama responsible.  Now I don’t want to even have to be associated with him. It’s like touching a tar baby and you get, you get it, you know… you are stuck and you are part of the problem now and you can’t get away.”

Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.

You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it

A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not

I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine

Crowd: What the #$##!  What the #$##!

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day

Lamborn gets blasted by the Extreme Equalizer.  Then, kick to the stomach, powerbomb to the floor, and WTF flips him off.

COMMERCIAL

MAIN EVENT (From Golden Dreams’s Show)
PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe

…Chism kicks him in the face but Daniel-San shrugs it off! Daniel-San takes Chism to the floor and Daniel-San drags Chism to the middle of the ring!  Superkick by Daniel-San… Superkick! Superkick! Superkick!

Suave: “ANOTHER SUPERKICK AND CHISM IS DOWN!

The Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe slip into the ring and get in front of Daniel-San.  All three girls whip off their tops

Suave: “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!  WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!  God, I love that move…WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”

Mrs. Miyagi rolls her eyes and leaps back into the ring.  She grabs Gore’s Singapore cane and starts whipping the SRB with it.  Blackwell throws them out of the ring.  Daniel-San raises his hand and left foot.

Suave: “HERE IT COMES.”

Daniel-San kicks Chism in the jaw.

Suave: “CRANE KICK!  CRANE KICK!  DANIEL-SAN BACK DOWN…LABELL LOCK!  LABELL LOCK!  LABELL LOCK!”

Chism furiously taps out.

Suave: “THAT’S IT!  DANIEL-SAN RETAINS!”

Mrs. Miyagi holds up Daniel-San’s arm.

Suave: “HUGE WIN FOR DANIEL-SAN!

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