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Christine O’Donnell on Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub: PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
NMU Vandament Arena
Marquette, MI
Thursday August 18th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Replay from Iowa’s Republican Battle Royale
…Average Joe kicks Schmidt into the table.  Spinning toe hold is countered by Schmidt and he hits a back suplex.  Schmidt tries for a piledriver through the table.  Average Joe somehow gets loose and they both fall through the table.

Crowd: “HOLY @#$#!  HOLY #@$@!  HOLY !@#@!”

Out of nowhere, Average Joe lariats Schmidt over the top rope and that’s it.  Jack Schmidt Eliminated…

Suave calls it a big win for Average Joe (Tea Party) and Michele Bachmann (R-MN).  Then…

Ron Paul is also very pleased with the results.  But then, Texas Jack (R) pushes them out of the way and hits the ring.  Lariat to Average Joe.  Vertical Suplex to Average Joe.  Inverted Atomic Drop by Texas Jack and then locks in the Texas Cloverleaf.

On the video screen, Rick Perry (R-TX) appears.  He announces that he is indeed throwing his hat in the ring to become the next PCW CEO.

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…”

Suave throws it to the ring.

MATCH #1
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann (R-MN)

Suave wonders if this could be a precursor of things to come.

…Average Joe tries a sunset flip but Texas Jack puts the brakes on.  Jack tries to go for a neckbreaker but gets rolled up for 2.  Average Joe gets a Fireman’s Carry and then the Airplane Spin?  Joe slams Texas Jack to the mat but he’s too dizzy to make the cover and lands on Jack’s stones. Michele Bachmann in the ring.  She rolls Average Joe on for the cover but Texas Jack gets his feet on the ropes.  Bachmann can’t believe it.  Average Joe with a suplex and goes up top.  Texas Jack makes it over and crotches him.  Jack hits the top rope Bulldog for 2.  Texas Jack hits a second bulldog out of the wheelbarrow for another 2.  Average Joe tries to sneak in a Victory Roll.  Texas Jack counters and hits the spike piledriver to win it at 8:41.

Rick Perry hits the ring and celebrates with Texas Jack.  Suave observes that Perry and Jack are on a huge roll right now.

Backstage
Valora Salinas is being wooed by ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK), Nikki Haley (R-SC), and Jan Brewer (R-AZ) to join the Republicans.

COMMERCIAL


Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub with Bill Clinton!

‘Troublemaker’ Christine O’Donnell (R-DE) is interviewed by Bill Clinton inside a hot tub.  Clinton asks her about her new book, ‘Troublemaker.’  Then he broaches the subject of sex.  O’Donnell tries to turn the conversation back to the book.  Then Clinton brings up the pictures that showed up in Gawker of O’Donnell dressed in a beetle’s costume before sleeping with some guy.  O’Donnell again tried to move the conversation.  Then Clinton got into the issue of same sex marriage.  O’Donnell: “I don’t think it’s relevant. It’s not a topic that I chose to embrace, it’s not what I’m championing right now — I’ve been there, done that, gone down that road.”  And then to Clinton’s surprise, she got up out of the hot tub, wearing and red polka-dotted, beetle type swimsuit, and walks off.

Suave: “O-kay.”

Triple R (D) cuts a promo.  He gets heat from the crowd when he introduces himself as the longtime uncrowned PCW champion and promises to represent them all with respect, honesty, and passion…NOT!

The crowd chants “Tanaka…Tanaka…”

Triple R says he’ll take pictures with your kids and sign autographs in the back…NOT!  The crowd really rips into him. As a matter of fact, that’s how he started his career in PCW, by being the underappreciated, uncrowned PCW champion.  Triple R says PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) is in it for himself and doesn’t do anything to help Democrats win.  He brushes O’Beck Bahama (D) off as an viable PCW title contender and calls Republican ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott a ‘has been, never was.’  Then Triple R demands a title shot against Tanaka and calls himself a true Democrat.  Then he tosses the mic to the ground and leaves.

MATCH #2
O’Beck Bahama (D) vs. Niles McDermott (I)

Bahama’s second match back against another overmatched opponent in McDermott.

…Bahama fights off the game McDermott even after taking a shot of green mist and a lot of martial arts kicks. Bahama gets the Bahama Backbreaker on McDermott who taps out at 4:55.

COMMERCIAL

Backstage
PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban talks with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Harry Reid (D-NV) and try to get her to join the Democrats.

Suave says PCW has brought in a special guest this week- the world famous rock group BACKMAN TAYLOR OVERDRAFT!

The crowd roars as Landon Backman shears off a hot rock riff and the group begins.

Got the notice in the mail today
When I opened it up it ruined my day
My bank balance wasn’t so large
There was a thirty-three dollar charge
A thirty-three dollar charge

I didn’t understand why the statement says
My hard earned cash was deducted away
I put my coat on and went to my car
To contest my thirty-three dollar charge
A thirty-three dollar charge

(Chorus)
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge

I went to the bank to ask them why
Teller said a check presented didn’t fly
And the money involved was way too large
I got a thirty-three dollar charge
A thirty-three dollar charge

(Chorus)
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge

Backman snaps off another searing guitar solo.

Got the notice in the mail today
When I opened it up it ruined my day
My bank balance wasn’t so large
There was a thirty-three dollar charge
A thirty-three dollar charge

(Chorus)
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge

Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge

COMMERCIAL

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

(sung to ‘Ghostbusters’)
If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

MATCH #3
Jersey Boyz: Vinnie and Frankie (R) w/Mona Lisa vs. The Goatbusters: Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz (I) w/Argon

The debut of the Jersey Boyz in PCW which makes Suave wonder if Chris Christie (R-NJ) isn’t too far behind.

…vicious chairshot to Jenkman before we go back to ringside. Argon helps Scantz fold and set up a table between the apron and barricade.  Scantz wraps an electrical cord around Frankie’s neck and chokes him.  Mona Lisa tries to interfere, but Scantz totally no-sells her and slams Frankie through the table.  Argon then blows a gigantic fireball at Mona Lisa.  She dives out of way and barely avoids it.

Back in the ring, Vinnie regains control over Jenkman.  Mona Lisa sets up a table.  Not good enough.  She puts thumbtacks on the table.  Still not good enough.  She sets the table on fire.  That’ll do.  Vinnie and a semi-recovered Frankie hit the New Jersey Death Drop on Jenkman through the table.  The referee dumps a bottle of something on Jenkman to put out the fire as he counts the pin.  The Jersey Boyz get their first PCW win at 9:36.

COMMERCIAL

Backstage
‘Troublemaker’ Christine O’Donnell (R-DE) talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  O’Donnell again hawks her new book, ‘Troublemaker.’  Then the subject turns to her walking out on Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub earlier in the show.  O’Donnell: “He had a decidedly inappropriate line of questions leading up to that, that many people — bloggers — are saying was just border-line creepy.  I was not there to talk about sex — and he would not stop trying to talk about sex.  I’m not a 20-year-old on MTV right now.  So let’s get back to the political issues that I lay out in the book — and he wouldn’t let up.”

Backstage
It’s PCW Champion Callie Urban’s turn to be wooed by Republicans ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK), Nikki Haley (R-SC), and Jan Brewer (R-AZ).

Across the hall, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Harry Reid (D-NV) lobby Valora Salinas to convince her to join the Democrats.

Upcoming PCW Events
8/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
8/25- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/5- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/8- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/12- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/15- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/19- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/22- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/26- PCW Lock and Load PPV

MATCH #4- PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW CEO Barack Obama comes out to watch the match along with O’Beck Bahama.  Obama also is interested in helping James the Jeep Worker.

…All hell breaks loose as the California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D), Big Labor, and Triple R hit the ring.  Belly-to-belly suplex by Big Labor on Mrs. Miyagi. The EMT’s rush in and scrape Mrs. Miyagi off the mat.

Les Miserables “Do You Hear the People Sing” plays and Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Blackwell’s Les Miserables run down.  Everybody begins brawling in the crowd and Blackwell comes off the top rope that actually clears the barricade and three rows of chairs to nail Big Labor with a steel chair.  Back inside the ring, Daniel-San snaps and just mauls James with a chair.  He targets his knee to make James easy prey for the any number of submission moves in Daniel-San’s arsenal.  Daniel-San DDTs him and then locks in the Cattle Mutilation.  Blackwell etal keep the Democrats at bay and James is forced to tap out at 10:21.

COMMERCIAL

Backstage
PCW Backstage Interviewer Paige McGillicutty catches ‘Troublemaker’ Christine O’Donnell as she’s leaving the building.  O’Donnell: “I’m already late for a Republican Women’s event that’s also being covered by P-Span.  There’s a room full of women wondering where I am, and I’m getting the wrap-up signal from my publicist…enough here Paige.”

MATCH #5- NON-TITLE MATCH
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) vs. Nick Ray (R) of Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) Raiders

Tanaka, under criticism for his lack of ‘teamwork’ with the Democrats, takes on the young Republican Nick Ray.

…Tanaka chops Ray down and follows with a backbreaker.  He heads to the top rope. Splash only get two and Ray miraculously kicks out.  The crowd is stunned.  Tanaka is stunned.  Even the referee is stunned. Tanaka pulls Ray to the top rope and it’s the JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER.  Tanaka with the easy 3 count at 8:29.

Post match, Triple R (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) come to the ring and Tanaka snaps.  Tanaka drags Ray to the top rope again and hits another Japanese SuperDestroyer that one pretty much kills Ray.  Ray is unconscious and bleeding from the mouth.  Tanaka points at Triple R and Chism and decides to make a point so he hits a third Japanese SuperDestroyer on Ray.  Suave screams at the referee to stop the carnage. “American Citizen” Kevin Scott (R)  comes in and tries to stop him from a fourth Japanese SuperDestroyer so Tanaka simply takes him out and drills him instead.   Finally, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and all the Democrats come in to stop the carnage.

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