PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Ventura County Fairgrounds
Santa Barbara, CA
Thursday September 8th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave welcomes everyone to a rare PCW show in California. He recaps the escalating war of words between the Big Labor forces and the Tea Party.
Video package Teamster James Hoffa’s remarks on Labor Day. Hoffa goes after the Tea Party big time and then, with PCW CEO Barack Obama set to come out later, says…
Hoffa: ‘Mr. Obama, This Is Your Army. We Are Ready to March. Let’s Take These Son of Bitches Out’..
Later on that day, Obama’s aide de camp, Joe Biden, had this to say to an AFL-CIO rally: “You Are The Only Folks Keeping The Barbarians From the Gates’…and “The middle class is under attack because the labor movement is under attack.”
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein has Obama spokesperson Jay Carney with him.
Bernstein asks him why Obama hasn’t commented on Hoffa’s remarks. Carney: “I understand that there is a ritual in Washington that, you know, somebody says something, and you link the associations, and then everybody who has an association with him or her has to avow or disavow. The President wasn’t there, he wasn’t on the stage, he didn’t speak for another twenty minutes, he didn’t hear it. I really don’t have any comment beyond that.”
Bernstein then reminded him that when Cincinnati radio host Bill Cunningham spoke before then PCW CEO candidate John McCain and said some very intemperate things about CEO Obama, the McCain campaign apologized. What’s the difference here? Carney: Mr. Hoffa speaks for himself, he speaks for the labor movement, AFL-CIO. CEO Obama speaks for himself, I speak for the CEO. What the CEO was glad to do yesterday was the opportunity to present his views on the importance of working Americans, and on the importance of taking measures to help working Americans, to create jobs and grow the economy.”
Finally, Bernstein asks if Obama found the comments appropriate. Carney: “Can we just move on, please?”
Suave: “Oh, puh-leeze. So, am I correct to restate that because Barack Obama wasn’t on stage when Hoffa, Jr., introduced him in this fashion, he shouldn’t comment on it although Obama did praise Hoffa, Jr., once he started his speech? Yet Sarah Palin (R-AK), Rush Limbaugh (R-FL), et al., who had nothing at all to do with Loughner shooting Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) were vehemently blamed for inciting violence with what they said? Ok, Obama didn’t say it. But of course he was there. And if he was not on stage, he was certainly on deck. And the question is not whether he’s willing to take it back but whether he is willing to disavow that PORTION of the introduction. Thanks for telling us “no,” Mr. Carney.”
The Terrapin walks out in…well…you see…
Suave: “HOLY CRAP! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”
The Terrapin (I) vs. James the Jeep Worker (D) w/Union Maid
-James the Jeep Worker comes out with new valet, Union Maid.
-The Terrapin comes out in what appears to be the Maryland state flag wrapped around someone.
…To the corner, reversal and a back elbow by James. Clothesline to the Terrapin by Union Maid. James covers for 2.
Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT’S SHE DOING OUT HERE?”
PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas
Suave recaps last week on PCW Extreme Political TV, when Valora took out the ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism’s (D) Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe, Chism, and Triple R (D) after the Chism-Triple R match.
Suave: “We know she’s mad because the Democrats chose PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D) over her. We know she’s pissed off at the Republicans for the Triple Threat’s interference in one of her matches. The question on everyone’s mind is: what exactly does she want?”
Valora makes her way out to the ring. Union Maid tries to stop her on the floor, and argues with her. Valora pretends she’s going to leaves, turns around, and blasts Union Maid in the head with a lead pipe.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Valora in and goes up top…she blasts The Terrapin with the lead pipe from behind. James back in and tries to steal a win. He rolls him up for 2- broken up when Valora drills him in the back with the pipe. She whips James to the corner, boot by Valora. Up top and a leaping sidekick connects. Valora flips him off and leaves.
RESULT: No contest @ 6:15
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein has the “Alaskan Pitbull” Sarah Palin in the back. Bernstein asks her about James Hoffa, Jr.’s remarks.
Palin: “What I have to say is for the hard working, patriotic, selfless union brothers and sisters in Michigan and throughout our country: Please don’t be taken in by union bosses’ thuggery like Jim Hoffa represented yesterday. Union bosses like this do not have your best interests at heart. What they care about is their own power and re-electing their friend Barack Obama so he will take care of them to the detriment of everyone else.”
Suave wonders aloud what the difference is between what Hoffa said and the targets on Sarah Palin’s Facebook? Suave: “Not much.”
Suave announces tonight’s main event: a six man tag match between Big Labor and the Tea Party.
Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (R) vs. Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)
-This is McGill and Kovalevski’s coming out party
-Women for Women have also worked together before.
…Kovalevski and List in, Kovalevski tosses List to the floor. Kovalevski to the floor, and McGill hits the heat-seeking missile on List. Kovalevski back in, and nails s with a dive and they brawl up the ramp. Code Pink in, up top, and gets a clothesline to Kovalevski. Dump suplex connects, and Pink looks for the moneymaker, countered, and Kovalevski rolls her up for the win.
FINISH: McGill/Kovalevski @ 9:52
Triple R (D), Arianna Huffington, and Markos Moulitsas come out. Triple R kills the ref on the floor and hits the ring to brawl with McGill and Kovalevski. McGill hits elbows to Triple R in the corner. Kovalevski nails a charging knee in the corner. Triple R bails and McGill follows. They continue to brawl on the floor. McGill sets for the big splash. Triple R shoves the ref in the way. Triple R gets a chair and nails McGill in the back with it. Triple R then blasts Kovalevski with it and the Republicans come out to protect The Mercenaries.
Triple R leaves with Huffington and Markos, saying he is the baddest man on the planet.
*flute and clarinet flourish*
PCW BARACK OBAMA’S SPEECH
Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.
Obama introduces the “PCW Jobs Act,” that represents his attempt to jump-start PCW’s momentum that has slowed nearly to a halt in recent months. The CEO says PCW should pass this bill right away.
Obama: “The purpose of the PCW Jobs Act is simple: to put more money in the pockets of our workers. It will provide a jolt to our company that has stalled, and give us confidence that if they work hard, there will be opportunities for our products and services. You should pass this jobs plan right away.”
Obama adds that he feels it’s the right balance, the right mix in getting money into people’s pockets. We have very important initiatives to get people to work. … We have faith in our program. We think it will have very significant impact on PCW’s growth.
Obama leaves but comes back with one more thought, “You should pass this bill…right away!”
After Obama leaves, there’s a musical interlude.
Former Skanky Rich Bimbo Paris Hilton
Hilton appears behind a turntable as PCW has a musical interlude.
Suave: “What the hell? Paris Hilton? House DJ?”
Hilton: “I’ve got a house album coming out. No woman has ever taken over in this arena … and I want to become that person. I want to be the Queen of House Music.”
Suave does a little chair dancing.
Suave: “She’s not bad…the beat’s catchy.”
Valora runs out with her lead pipe and clocks Hilton with it.
Valora: “Queen of House Music? I am the Queen of Extreme!”
Then she trashes the turntable and totally wrecks the sound system.
Jackie Daniels (I) w/Jill Berg vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen of the Triple Threat (R)
-Jackie is looking to build on an impressive challenge to PCW Women’s champion Callie Urban (D) and takes on another up and comer in Kalee Jones.
…Daniels takes Jones down and gets the bridging reverse STF. The Eskimo Queen uses her power to get the ropes. Jones works the abdominal stretch now. Daniels escapes, boot to Jones and sticks her with a DDT. She covers…Daniels kicks out at 2. Daniels to the 2nd rope now, fist drop connects. Daniels is limping, and Jones nails a spin kick. She spins Daniels around and hits the Eskimo Pieface. Cover…1…2…3.
RESULTS: Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen @ 8:17
PCW CEO Barack Obama in back with a message, “You should pass this bill right away!”
MATCH #4–Republican Rumble
’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain
’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney
Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul
Texas Jack- representing Rick Perry
Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
Brad Company- representing Newt Gingrich
Jamie Walker- representing Jon Huntsman
Before the bell, Valora Salinas (I) again attacks. She takes out Brad Company, Dann Armey, and ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson with a lead pipe. Security runs down and drags her away from the ring.
Union Maid (D) runs down and tackles Valora to the floor. Rights by Union Maid. Valora slams Union Maid to the apron. Union Maid whips her into the ring steps. Again, security tries to get in between the two and pull them apart.
In the ring…side back breaker by Scott to Jack Schmidt. Dump suplex follows and Average Joe clotheslines Schmidt over the top rope. Jack Schmidt eliminated.
Kicks to the chest of Walker by Scott. Walker grabs Scott, Scott counters, and a backdrop by Walker. Clothesline by Walker follows, and then he runs into a dropkick by Texas Jack. Kicks by Jack, chops follow. Texas Jack counters the leg sweep, and gets a neck breaker. He heaves Walker over the top rope. Jamie Walker eliminated.
Monkey flip by Scott sends Average Joe across the ring. He hits and flips over the top rope. Average Joe eliminated.
Scott kicks Texas Jack in the head. Jack fires back with stiff right hands and they trade shots. Suplex try by Scott, countered, and a neck breaker by Texas Jack. Cravat by Texas Jack. Scott to his feet, he escapes and lays in the rights to Texas Jack. Scott then slams Texas Jack to the steel post and Jack falls to the floor. Texas Jack eliminated.
RESULT: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) @ 16:46
MATCH #5– Big Labor vs. Tea Party- six man tag match
‘The Self Styled Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and the California Teacher’s Union: Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) w/pet Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) and James Hoffa Jr. vs. Charlie Blackwell (I), Dave the Mechanic (Tea Party), and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay (Tea Party) w/Sheila the Secretary
-this has been brewing. But Average Joe (Tea Party) wasn’t available due to the Republican Rumble so Charlie Blackwell (I) stepped in. Dave the Mechanic returned to PCW with Sheila the Secretary.
Before the match began, PCW CEO Barack Obama came out yet again with a simple message, “You should pass this bill right away!”
Suave: “Yeah, I think we get the point.”
The match was the war everyone expected it to be. Hoffa got involved early on which brought down ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) and Michele Bachmann (R-MN).
…Golatta batters McAvay from pillar to post with the trashcan. A slugfest develops in the ring, and a wild swing from McAvay allows Golatta to hit the belly to belly suplex for two. Tag to Big Labor, who continues the attack on McAvay. He lays the boots to Tin Cupp in the corner, and then works the front facelock. McAvay fights for a tag, knees by Big Labor and a tag to Malibu Dusty. Rights by Dusty and McAvay is down again. Tag back to Golatta, to the second rope and leaps onto McAvay…
…out of the blue, Triple R (D) decides to hit the ring and attack Blackwell! Big Labor rolls up Blackwell for two. Spinning toe hold countered by Blackwell into a back suplex. Blackwell grabs Triple R and tries for a piledriver off the apron through the table. Big Labor tackles Blackwell and all three go through the table.
Golatta attacks McAvay and nails a pair of belly to belly suplexes. Golatta with a ‘Foul Pole’ shot to the groin and McAvay is down. Golatta tries for another Foul Pole, this one to Dave the Mechanic. Sheila the Secretary jumps on Golatta’s back. Malibu Dusty pulls Sheila off and hits a belly to belly. Golatta Foul Poles Dave the Mechanic and picks up a belt. He starts whipping Dave with it and Palin and Bachmann hit the ring. Then Hoffa jumps in and the referee loses complete control of the match.
Before the show fades to black, Obama sneaks up to the camera and says: “YOU SHOULD PASS MY BILL…RIGHT AWAY!”…