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Attack Watch- WTF?/Is Chris Christie (R) Reconsidering?: PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Whittemore Center Arena
Durham, NH
Monday September 19th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave, wearing a neck brace and other bandages from his injuries at the hands of Attack Watch (D), is in the ring.   Suave says everyone knows what went down last Thursday night.   All he said was that someone should let the Obama folks know that there’s a wacky group out there trying to portray PCW CEO Barack Obama as some paranoid delusional petulant narcissist by claiming he’s launched a website named “AttackWatch”.  And then this…

REPLAY: LAST THURSDAY

Suave starts to introduce hour number two when he’s violently yanked out of his chair by Attack Watch.  AW decks Suave with a wicked right hand and drags him up to the ring apron.  He places Suave in the piledriver position- head between his knees, and piledrives him through the broadcast table.

Attack Watch climbs into the ring and warns everyone that from this point forward, any attempt to besmirch the good name of the PCW CEO will be met with the same force he used to put Suave through the table.

Attack Watch: “Join me- and stop the attacks on PCW CEO Obama before they start.”

Suave: “If Attack Watch thought he could intimidate me into not speaking my mind, he has another thing coming.  And I ain’t the only one who feels this way.  Check out these tweets from over the weekend…

Leona Coyne:”Hey Attack Watch, my neighbor won’t give me all her money even though she makes more than me. Look into this please.”

Daggett D. Beaver: “Nobody is a better president than Obama. Seriously. I’d rather have nobody.”

James Taranto: “Of course Obama is for a Palestinian state. He’d carry it in ’012 for sure.”

Sam Valley: “A 8 year-old girl has set-up a lemonade stand on my block without a health permit … RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!”

RFD America: “The neighbor lady made apple pie and flies the flag on the 4th of July. Investigate!”

“ENOUGH!”  Attack Watch storms out and goes after Suave.  Suave holds his ground.  Attack Watch grabs him by the throat and…

*Def Leppard‘s ‘Rock Rock Til You Drop plays*

Out comes ‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Attack Watch flings Suave down and dares WTF to come after him.

Charlie Blackwell (I) and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) run in and clip Attack Watch’s knee.

WTF grabs Attack Watch by the throat…CHOKE SLAM THROUGH THE BROADCAST TABLE!

Crowd: PCW…PCW…PCW!”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MATCH #1
Dawn McGill and
Svetlana Kovalevski (I) vs. The Triple Threat: ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/Sarah Mae Smith (R)
-McGill and Kovalevski are gunning for a shot at the PCW Women’s Title.
-Dallas and Jones look to stop them.

Tight match that swung back and forth before…

…Kovalevski gets back to her feet.  She launches Dallas across the ring with a huge belly-to-belly suplex.  Kovalevski goes for the cover.  Sarah Mae Smith puts Dallas’s foot on the ropes to break the count. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen hits the ring.  Dragon Whip from Kovalevski to Dallas.  Dawn McGill in.  She nails Jones with a super kick.  Russian sickle by Kovalevski to Dallas.  She covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I) @ 8:45

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Chris Christie (R-NJ) Promo
Christie:
“Leadership today in America has to be about doing the big things and being courageous. That’s what it has to be about. Same thing with health-benefit reform, which is an analogy to Medicaid and Medicare here in Washington. . . . [Don’t think] the public workers in New Jersey hold on any less strongly to the benefits that they get through the government. Teachers in New Jersey . . . pay nothing for their health insurance — nothing — from the day they are hired until the day they qualify for full family medical coverage that costs the state of New Jersey $24,000 per family. [If] you don’t think they’re holding on to that tight — you’re not paying attention. The battles are similar. . . .  PCW CEO Barack Obama says the big things are high-speed rail, the big things are high-speed Internet access for almost 80 percent of America or something by some date. One million electric cars on the road by some date. Ladies and gentlemen, that is the candy of American politics. Those are not the big things. Because let me guarantee you something, if we don’t fix the real big things, there are going to be no electric cars on the road. There is going to be no high-speed Internet access, or if there is, you’re not going to be able to afford to get on it. We are not going to be able to care about the niceties of life — the investments that Washington wants to continue to make. That’s not what we need to be talking about. No one is talking about it.

“What’s the truth that no one is talking about — here is the truth that no one is talking about: You’re going to have to raise the retirement age for Social Security. Oh, I just said it, and I’m still standing here! I did not vaporize into the carpeting, and I said it! We have to reform Medicare because it costs too much and it is going to bankrupt us. Once again lightning did not come through the windows and strike me dead. And we have to fix Medicaid because it’s not only bankrupting the federal government, it’s bankrupting every state government. There you go. If we’re not honest about these things, on the state level about pensions and benefits and on the federal level about Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, we are on the path to ruin.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MAIN EVENT- TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH
Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) vs. Big Labor/Triple R (D) vs. California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
-winner gets a title shot against Republican’s The Schmidt Brothers this weekend at PCW Lock and Load.

Early on, The CTU and Big Labor team up on Corporate Might while Triple R stays in his corner.

…Walstreit makes the tag to Big Oil and all hell breaks loose.  The Longshoremen: Pete and Russell (D) run in and assault Big Oil with a lead pipe.  Walstreit jumps in and hits an Asai DDT on one of the Longshoremen.  The CTU’s Malibu Dusty sets up Walstreit for a suicide dive.  The CTU’s Andy Golatta hits a ‘Foul Pole’ low blow.  The CTU double team Big Oil and and get the first elimination of the match.  Corporate Might (R) eliminated.

At that point, Triple R attacks Big Labor.  The CTU and the Longshoremen quadruple team Triple R.  Triple R is thrown from the ring and Big Labor follows with the Longshoremen.  They drag Triple R to the back and the CTU gets the win via count-out.

WINNER: The California Teacher’s Union (D) @ 8:21

Post match, PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) and Ron Paul (R) along with Vince Vaughn???  VINCE VAUGHN?  The 4  do a Pearl Harbor job on the CTU and the Schmidts hit their upcoming challengers with a doubleteam Moneybomb.

The card for PCW Lock and Load this Sunday:
First round matches in PCW Lock and Load tournament
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

PCW Women’s Tag Team Title Match
PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) vs. TBA

PCW Tag Team Title Match
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) vs The California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D)

PCW King of Extreme Title Match
PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) vs. The Queen of Political Extreme Ann Coulter (R)

PCW Women’s Title Match
PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D) vs. PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I)

PCW Title Match
TBA vs. TBA

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