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Suave: “Johnny Suave here. Last Sunday night at PCW Lock and Load 6, we crowned a brand new PCW champion.”
Replay: PCW Title Match: Daniel-San (I) vs. O’Beck Bahama (D)
Tanaka powerbombs Andy Golatta through the ring table and then jackhammer slams Malibu Dusty through Suave’s broadcast table. James the Jeep Worker runs up to Tanaka. Tanaka grabs him by the throat, lifts, and choke slams him on top of Golatta. Next, the Longshoremen. Tanaka ducks a doubleteam clothesline. He jumps both men and hits a bulldog on the floor. Big Labor back up. Kick to the groin doubles him over. Power bomb on top of the Longshoremen.
Tanaka then leaves to a standing ovation from the crowd.
Back to the match, Bahama hits a superkick and flips him with a LARIATO! Cover gets 1, 2, –2.9. More kicks from Bahama and he gives Daniel-San a second Lariato and an ENZUIGIRI! He follows it up with a Doctor Driver. Cover gets 1, 2,–2.999. Daniel-San with a drop toehold and hangs Bahama in the Tree of Woe. Daniel-San to the top rope… DOUBLE FOOT STOMP OFF THE TOP! Daniel-San covers…1…2… Daniel-San with another BuckleBomb and a superkick. Cover…1…2…2.99999. Daniel-San spreads his arms and lifts a leg up…CRANE KICK! COVER…1…2…3!
WINNER AND NEW PCW CHAMPION: Daniel-San (I) @ 24:20
Daniel-San walks out with Mrs. Miyagi to a standing ovation from the crowd. Daniel-San thanks the fans of PCW for standing behind him. He says he will be a champion they can be proud of.
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) appears with the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe. Chism says now that Tanaka is gone and there’s an independent holding the PCW title because O’Beck Bahama couldn’t get the job dine, it’s a whole new ballgame. Chism reminds Daniel-San that he, too, has held both the PCW Title and the TV belt. The difference is that Chism says he’s more charismatic than Daniel-San. Besides…
The SRB rip off their tops. Suave: “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”
Daniel-San responds that he has a special guest in the building who’ll top the SRB. Chism is skeptical. Daniel-San introduces…
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Chism: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY EYES!”
Daniel-San attacks Chism. Grace and Mrs. Miyagi take out the SRB.
MATCH #1- PCW Title Match
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi and Nancy Grace vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe
Match in progress…
…Chism sits in the corner. Daniel-San puts a chair on his groin and gets ready to swing another chair. *CLANG*
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Chism jumps up and hops all around the ring. He reaches down to make sure he’s still ‘intact.’
Suave: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep looking, you’ll find them eventually.”
The SRB tries to pull Chism out of the ring. Daniel-San pulls them back in. Chism spun around. Daniel-San spreads his arms and lifts up his leg…CRANE KICK! Chism down…Daniel-San sets…CATTLE MUTILATION! Kim and Courtney try to pull Chism free. Nancy Grace runs in…BIG SPLASH TO KIM! Mrs. Miyagi decks Courtney with a spinning heel kick. Chism taps…that’s it.
WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Daniel-San (I) @ 11:12
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein is stationed right outside Republican Chris Christie‘s dressing room just in case Christie decides to make his announcement tonight about his PCW CEO plans.
Down the hall, Paige McGillicutty waits outside ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin‘s dressing room in the event she makes her announcement tonight.
Suave says time is getting short for both Christie and Palin.
In the ring is Independent Charlie Blackwell and his wife Kenzie. Blackwell notes the protests going on at Kirk Walstreit’s house aka #occupywalstreit. Blackwell says ‘we are the 99% my ass. Really? Snobby rich elite boys and girls going to school on Mommy and Daddy’s dime play acting as ‘populists’ and protesting against snobby rich elitist Kirk Walstreit?
Blackwell: “I’m sorry, when there’s genuine issues out there concerning the degradation of middle class America I’ll skip this play and move on.”
Several of the protestors suddenly show up and start yelling at Blackwell.
Blackwell: “Let me say that it must be nice to be in your world. I mean, really. You’re in college. You’ve got no real responsibilities except your schoolwork. You’ve got no family to support. No real bills to pay. All you’ve got to worry about is studying, buying your next six of beer, and getting laid.”
The protestors get up on the ring apron. Blackwell dares them to get into the ring.
Blackwell: “With all due respect, who the hell are you to tell me or anyone else for that matter what the ‘real world’ is? Have you actually held a real job? Do you have a family to support? Bills to pay? House to keep up? Have you spent sleepless nights wondering how you’re going to make ends meet? Those of us who live in the ‘real world’ know this because we live it each and every day. If you haven’t than you have no friggin’ clue what the ‘real world’ really is. When you know how it feels to carry the stress, the responsibility, and the burden of being a provider for not only yourself but for a family on a daily basis– then maybe you can talk to us about the ‘real world.’ If the only thing you have to worry about is books, beer, and broads– then quite frankly you don’t know jack.”
Jersey Boyz: Vinnie and Frankie (R) w/Chris Christie (R-NJ) vs. Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. Kennedy and Ray F. Kennedy w/John F’n Kerry (D-MA)
…JFK and RFK double team Frankie. Now they hold him for Kerry, Kerry drops an F-Bomb on Frankie. JFK covers…1…2…Vinnie makes the save.
Christie in the ring. He rams right into Kerry and sends the Massachusetts Blueblood across the ring and over the top rope.
All four men in the ring. The crowd roars as Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) comes to the ring. Vinnie heaves JFK from the ring. Frankie and Vinnie have RFK set for the Boardwalk Blast. Warren in the ring. DOUBLE LOW BLOW! The Boyz drop RFK and stagger around the ring. JFK goes up top. HERE COMES SCOTT BROWN (R-MA)!
Brown races up and pushes JFK off the corner turnbuckle through a table. Frankie and Vinnie again set RFK for the Boardwalk Blast. Warren heads over, but Brown grabs her by the ankle and pulls her from the ring. BOARDWALK BLAST! Vinnie covers…1…2…3!
WINNER: The Jersey Boyz (R)
Suave: “Still no word on Christie or Palin jumping into the Republican contest. Big win though for the Jersey Boyz tonight. Thursday night, it’s PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN. See you then.