PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1
Thursday November 3rd, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
PCW’s tour of the American Heartland continues.
Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub with Bill Clinton!
Clinton lounges in the hot tub with a couple of babes to discuss the ongoing Herman Cain (R-GA) situation concerning allegations of sexual harassment. Clinton starts off with explaining that he’d love to talk about the Cain controversy but-
Suave: *koff, koff* Paula Jones *koff, koff*
Clinton glares at Suave and continues. He wants to talk about the sexual harassment allegations but-
Suave: *koff, koff* Gennifer Flowers *koff, koff*
Clinton begins to wag his finger.
Suave: *koff, koff* Kathryn Willey *koff, koff*
Clinton: “All right, already!”
Clinton bites his bottom lip and looks right at the camera. He says he’d love to discuss it- but he can’t. So he’s just going to relax in the hot tub.
Axel Rodd (D) vs. Jamie Walker (R)
The Democrat‘s new wrestler faces off against Jon Huntsman‘s (R-UT) favorite wrestler.
…Rodd works the leg of Walker. Walker tries to fight out but Rodd flips him over into a Boston Crab-type move. He lets him go and then scoops Walker up. Fireman’s carry…SPIN! SPIN! Rodd drops Walker and makes the cover. 1…2…3.
WINNER: Axel Rodd (D) @ 5:48
Post match, Rodd gets on the mic and wants to know is that all the Republican’s got? Rodd begins to lite into the R’s when he’s attacked by the Huntsman girls- Mary Anne, Abby, and Liddy.
Jon Huntsman’s daughters get a measure of revenge on Rodd by depantsing him and causing him great embarrassment.
Suave: “That’s pretty sad when Jon Huntsman’s daughters are more effective than he is.”
Suave recaps what went down on PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night between Republican the Rev. Randy Richardson (formerly Triple R [D]) and the God Squad and PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).
From Monday night’s show:
Courtney and Chloe whip open their tops and gives Richardson a Wardrobe Malfunction. Sneaking into the ring, former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D) makes his return and puts Richardson in the Bahama Backbreaker. Chism gets the pin at 11:51 to retain the men’s title
Rev. Richardson and the God Squad condemn the actions of the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe in hitting him with the ‘Wardrobe Malfunction’ and ripping off their tops. But Richardson saves his harshest words for former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D). Richardson calls him weak.
Rev. Richardson: “You were a weak champion and you’re still weak.”
He points to the back and out walks Rev. Oral Hinnrich, Pastor Buddy Flambe, and Sister Mary Marlboro dragging the SRB’s Kim to the ring. Kim, making lots of news with the announcement of her impending divorce after just 72 days of being married, is thrown to the mat in front of Richardson. Richardson holds up a Bible and shouts ‘Behold the good book!’ and whaps Kim in the head with it. He then puts Kim into his own version of the ‘Bahama Backbreaker’ and calls for Bahama to come out and give him a match.
Bahama is out and brawling with Richardson. PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and the other two Skanky Rich Bimbos: Courtney and Chloe attend to Kim.
A referee slides into the ring.
The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (R) w/The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Pastor Buddy Flambe with Sister Mary Marlboro vs. O’Beck Bahama (D)
…Richardson tombstones Bahama for two. Rev. Hinnrich applies a full nelson on Kim and Sister Mary Marlboro slaps her until Courtney comes in with a cookie sheet and takes her out. Pastor Flambe retaliates by headbutting Courtney. Belly-to-belly suplex by Rev. Hinnrich on Courtney brings out the EMTs. The match stops so they can scrape Courtney off the mat…
…everyone brawls in the crowd. Rev. Hinnrich comes off the top rope and clears the barricade and three rows of chairs to take down Stone Chism. Back inside the ring, Rev. Richardson goes insane and mauls Bahama with a chair. He targets the knee. Kim jumps on Richardson’s back and stops him from getting the submission by choking him. Suddenly, Chism gets back into the ring and drills Richardson with a camera. Bahama DDTs Richardson and then slaps on the Bahama Backbreaker. Richardson taps out.
WINNER: O’Beck Bahama (D) @ 12:27
Post match, Chism turns to Bahama and extends his hand. Suave explains that Chism and Bahama have not seen eye to eye dating back to 2008 when Bahama was the PCW Champion and Chism wanted the title. It was Chism who knocked Bahama out of competition for over a year by concussing him on the ring bell in 2009. Suave wonders if ‘bygones will be bygones.’
Bahama takes Chism’s hand and kicks him in the groin. Then he DDT’s him and leaves the ring.
Suave: “I guess not.”
Suave notes that one year from now will be PCW’s signature show, the bi-annual PCW Extreme Election Night 2012. As a special feature, here’s the PCW Title Match between Champion Republican Starz N. Stripes (now ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) and challenger O’Beck Bahama (D) from Extreme Election Night 2008.
REPLAY FROM PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008
MAIN EVENT: PCW TITLE MATCH
O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
vs. STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots)
The referee calls for the bell.
Suave: “Here we go!”
Staredown as O’Beck and Starz circle each other. Starz smiles and they finally lock up. Starz goes for a bodyslam. Bahama reverses and pushes Starz to the ring ropes. Starz holds on to the ropes. Circling and staring again. Another lockup. O’Beck shoots Starz’s leg and takes him down. Arm drag into a wrist lock by Bahama. Into the corner. Starz unleashes a right hand that glances off Bahama. Bahama with a side headlock. Irish whip into the ropes. Back body drop by Bahama. Bahama shoots him into the ropes again but this time Starz hangs onto them. Starz slides out of the ring and takes a walk to confer with McCain. .Starz back in and they lock up yet again. Bahama monkey-flips Starz and delivers the boots to the gut. Out of nowhere, Starz slaps on the American Star and Fuji Arm Bar submission hold.
Suave: “THIS COULD BE IT!”
Bahama grabs the ropes and hold on to them for dear life. The referee breaks the hold.
Starz confers with John McCain. Bahama slingshots himself across the ring and crushes Starz against the steel barricade. Irish whip into the barricade on the other side. Another Irish whip from Bahama. He ducks for a backdrop but Starz kicks him in the mush. Starz starts laying in right hands and pushes Bahama out through the ropes. Bahama quickly climbs back up on the apron. Starz charges. Bahama ducks and back body drops the PCW champion over the ropes and through a ring table.
Suave: HOLY CRAP!”
O’Beck wastes no time in climbing the top rope and splashing Starz on the floor.
Starz crawls out of the wreckage but Bahama follows up with an Irish whip into the steel guardrail. Bahama grabs a chair and waffles Starz with it. Starz slumps to the ground. Bahama climbs the ring steps.
Suave: “MISSILE DROP KICK FROM THE STEPS! STARZ CAUGHT IT FLUSH ON HIS JAW AND HE IS DAZED!”
Bahama pulls Starz up. Superkick! Starz falls backwards and hits the floor hard. Barack Obama urges Bahama on. Bahama presses the attack, grabbing another steel folding chair and pastes the champion in the face with it. He throws the chair on the floor.
Suave: “DDT ON THE CHAIR! THE PCW CHAMPION IS IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE HE’S AT!”
Bahama drags Starz back into the ring. Bahama goes for the win.
Suave: “1…2…NO! BAHAMA GAVE HIM TOO MUCH TIME AND STARZ KICKS OUT!”
Bahama goes for another cover.
Suave: “NO! STARZ KICKS OUT AGAIN! BAHAMA MAY HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE IN NOT TRYING TO PIN THE CHAMPION ON THE FLOOR!”
Starz tries to fight back. Bahama lifts him for a jack-knife power bomb. Starz flips through and shoves the New Rookie Sensation into the ropes. Wild right by Starz misses badly. Bahama trips Starz and he lands throat first on the top ring rope. Running splash takes the air out of Starz. Bahama covers.
Suave: “1…2…McCAIN SAVES HIM! McCAIN RAN OVER AND PUT THE CHAMPION’S FOOT ON THE ROPES!”
Bahama drives Starz to the canvas with a running power bomb. The crowd begins to anticipate a possible title change.
Suave: “THIS COULD BE THE NIGHT! BAHAMA COVERS…”
A huge roar erupts.
Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN! SHE’S IN THE RING! *THWACK* HOLY CRAP! *THWACK* OH! SHE NAILED BAHAMA WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!”
Suave: “TINA FEY! TINA FEY’S OUT HERE! SHE GOES UP TO PALIN…SHE TAKES THE HOCKEY STICK AWAY. AND NOW, FEY’S LEAVING! PALIN’S CHASING HER.”
Standing drop kick by Starz drives Bahama into the corner.
Suave: “SARAH PALIN HAS TOTALLY CHANGED THE COMPLEXION OF THE MATCH!”
An newly energized Starz throws lefts and rights. Snap mare take down. Enzuigiri by Starz and then a backpack stunner. Bahama blocks a suplex attempt but eats a flying knee. Starz charges and shoulder blocks Bahama into the ropes. Bahama walks right into a Ricola bomb. Cover. 1…2.. Bahama gets the shoulder up. Bahama gets crotched on the top rope and schoolboyed for another two. Starz goes for a Texas Cloverleaf but Starz rolls through it. Starz hits a Michinoku Driver. Starz hits a fireman’s carry takedown and then a chinlock. Bahama escapes the hold and pushes Starz back. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Irish whip by Starz reversed by Bahama followed by another reversal. Bahama misses a leg drop. Starz back suplexes Bahama. Bahama wildly charges. Starz sidesteps. Bahama bounces off the ropes and Starz delivers a Death Valley Driver. Cover. Suave: “One…Obama breaks the count this time.” Starz hits a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Starz goes for a piledriver; Bahama kicks him low.
Suave: “That’ll stop your momentum in a big hurry.”
Bahama with rights. Irish whip into the ropes. Bahama ducks the lariat. Lou Thesz Press by Starz. He pummels Bahama on the canvas. Irish whip by Starz. Belly to belly suplex. Bahama bounces off the canvas.
Suave: “STARZ WITH THE MOMENTUM AND…HE WANTS A TABLE!”
McCain slides a table into the ring and Stara sets it up. Rights by Starz. Then he sets Bahama up.
Suave: “HE’S LINING BAHAMA UP…”
The PCW crowd roars again.
Suave: “SARAH PALIN! .SARAH PALIN’S BACK OUT!…OR IS IT TINA FEY?”
Palin climbs up to the ring apron.
Suave: “I DON’T THINK STARZ’S SURE IF IT REALLY HER OR NOT.”
Suave: “STARZ PULLS BAHAMA UP AND HOLDS HIM…HE’S TELLING PALIN OR FEY OR WHOMEVER TO GO AHEAD.”
Palin swings. Bahama ducks. Starz catches the stick with his hand. He throws Bahama out of the ring.
Suave: “STARZ IS PISSED. HE FLIPS HER INTO THE RING!”
The crowd stands and cheers.
Suave: “HE’S NOT! YES HE IS.”
Starz powerbombs her through the table.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Tina Fey runs out dressed as Palin. She winks at Starz and leaves.
Suave: “OH MY GOD! STARZ JUST POWER-BOMBED SARAH PALIN THROUGH A TABLE!”
Starz looks at the unconscious Palin lying among the ruins of the table in abject disbelief. McCain is stunned. Starz checks on her. Bahama claws his way back into the ring and blindsides the distracted Starz from behind…
End of Hour 1