PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Thursday November 3rd, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Bahama rolls up Starz.
Suave: “ONE…TWO…NO! McCAIN BREAKS THE COUNT! McCAIN LITERALLY LEAPED ACROSS THE RING TO STOP THE REFEREE FROM COUNTING OUT STARZ!”
Bahama climbs up the corner turnbuckle. 450 Splash on Starz. Again, he covers.
Suave: “ONE…TWO…AGAIN! McCAIN AGAIN STOPS THE COUNT!”
McCain stumbles back to his corner. Bahama picks up Starz and power bombs him. Cover.
Suave: “ONE…TWO…NOOOOO! McCAIN AGAIN SAVES STARZ! UNBELIEVEABLE!”
Obama pounds on the ring canvas. Everyone is standing up in the building.
Suave: “THIS CROWD IS GOING NUTS! JOHN McCAIN HAS SAVED THREE PINFALLS! HOLD ON. BAHAMA WANTS A TABLE SET UP OUTSIDE THE RING.”
Obama quickly sets up a table. Bahama picks up Starz. He runs towards the ropes and heaves him over. Starz destroys the table.
Suave: “AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! BAHAMA TO THE TOP ROPE. 45O SPLASH! HE COVERS. ONE…WAIT! WHAT’S DICK CHENEY DOING. HE RUNS INTO McCAIN…”
The bell rings.
Suave:“THAT WAS THE BELL? WAIT A MINUTE…CHARLENE ANN BECKWORTH IN THE RING.”
Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE WINNER BY PINFALL AND NEW PCW-”
The deafening crowd drowned out the rest of what of Charlene Ann said.
Suave: “HE DID IT! HE DID IT! O’BECK BAHAMA IS THE NEW PCW CHAMPION!”
Suave: “LET’S LOOK AT THIS FROM ANOTHER VIEW. HOLY CRAP! McCAIN WAS TRYING TO GET OVER TO STARZ BUT DICK ACCIDENTLY TRIPPED HIM UP. THERE’S THE THREE COUNT.”
WINNER: O’Beck Bahama @ 27:35
PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 is roughly one year away. Will Daniel-San (I) still hold the title? Who will the Republicans send up against PCW CEO Barack Obama? The next year will determine all.
Suave recaps hour one:
- Democrat Axel Rodd makes a successful debut in PCW but then gets attacked by the Huntsman girls.
- O’Beck Bahama (D) defeats long time rival The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (R) and then DDT’s another long time rival PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).
Suave says PCW Extreme Election 2012 may be a year away but PCW Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is next month.
PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) throws a royal fit in the back over getting DDT’d earlier by O’Beck Bahama. Nancy Pelosi (D) tries to calm Chism down but the Men’s Champ tells her that Bahama should let bygones be bygones and do what’s right for the Democrats- and support Chism.
Back in the ring, PCW CEO Barack Obama again goes around the PCW Competition Committee and makes a Women’s title match between PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D). KRC is in the ring ready to roll. Unlike last week when Obama tried to set a match between Women for Women against Salinas, the Women’s champion is in the building tonight and in a ‘foul’ mood when she comes to the ring.
MATCH #3- PCW Women’s Title Match
Valora Salinas (c) (I) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
…big elbow drop gets another two count for KRC and now the challenger is in full control of the match. KRC stomps away at Valora in the corner. Valora finally gets fed up now and goes to work on KRC. She lariats her in the corner and delivers a powerslam. Valora goes for the Aztec Moonsault to finish KRC off…she hits it. Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) run out to interfere. Triple team on Valora and it looks bad but…
The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovaleski (I) come to the rescue. McGill and Kovaleski brawl with Pink and List. Valora hits the Border Toss on KRC and then rolls her up and pins her.
WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Valora Salinas @ 11:02
Post match, actress Lindsay Lohan comes to the ring to take an ill-advised run at Valora. Suave recaps the run-in Li-Lo had with the Women’s Champion after doing her community service last week.
Valora slaps a choke hold on Lohan and turns it into a rear naked choke. It takes several security personnel to pull Valora off of her.
Suave goes through the updated PCW Rankings…
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: Daniel-San (I)
PCW MEN’S CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Valora Salinas (I)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)
PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS:The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey Korver (D)
#1- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#2- O’Beck Bahama (D)
#3- Charlie Blackwell (I)
#4- ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R)
#5- The Rev. Randy Richardson (R)
TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#2- Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#3- Big Labor/James the Jeep Worker (D)
#4- Charlie Blackwell/Mike the Mechanic (I)
#5- Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R)
#1- Callie Urban (D)
#2- Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
#3- Sarah Mae Smith (R)
#4- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#5- Jackie Daniels (I)
PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R)
#2- The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I)
#3- The Triple Threat: ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#4- Women For Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)
#5- The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (I)
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Charlie Blackwell (I) w/’No Frills’ Chris Escondido
Scott still hanging on to the #1 contender spot. Blackwell looking for the opportunity.
But before the match starts, PCW CEO Obama walks out again and unilaterally changes the match. He tells Scott he’ll face ’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) and not Charlie Blackwell with the #1 contender’s spot on the line.
Blackwell is furious but is escorted to the back as Big Labor and his big union entourage come to the ring.
…To the corner, Big Labor sets Scott up top. Scott fights backs but Big Labor suplexes him to the mat. Big Labor goes back up top, he drops the elbow and goes for the pin 1…2..NO! Andy Golatta of the California Teacher’s Union (D) climbs into the ring and sets for the ‘Foul Pole.’ He hits it and Scott falls to the mat. Big Labor covers but…Kenzie Blackwell is out and has the referee’s attention.
Union Maid (D) goes over and confronts Kenzie. Big Labor sets for the Scabbuster…Scott reverses into a perfectplex. Scott covers but Big Labor counters and the ref has to dive out of the way. Malibu Dusty, The Longshoremen, and James the Jeep Worker (D) charge the ring. Scott to the floor on the exchange and out comes Blackwell and his Les Miserables. Blackwell hands Scott the beer bottle with nasty intentions. Big Labor, followed by the Big Union forces gets cracked in his noggin with the beer bottle.
Blackwell, Escondido, and the Les Miserables brawl with Big Union. Scott makes the cover on the floor…1…2…3.
WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) @ 10:31