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The Republican Race Heats Up: PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Viking Hall
Bristol, TN
Thursday January 26th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave begins but is interrupted by a commotion in the back.

Suave: “Hold on a second.  I’ve been told to send it to PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  Woodward?”

Bernstein is in the back.  In the background, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer (R) is in the middle of an intense conversation with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL).

Bernstein: “This has been brewing for quite a while.  Brewer and Obama don’t see eye to eye about much of anything.   Ah, here comes Brewer.”

Brewer says that Obama’s upset about what she said about him in her book- Scorpions for Breakfast.   “It is what it is. I proceeded to say that to him, and he chose to walk away from me.”    Brewer adds that in life, we all have our bad days.  Sometimes we say and do things we could all take back.  Tonight, is not one of those days.  She will not be intimidated.

Obama is now in the ring and says he can’t hear a word Brewer is saying, perhaps she should come into the ring.  Brewer retorts that he doesn’t work for Obama.  Obama responds that he is the PCW CEO and she will listen to what he has to say.   Obama says she’s being disrespectful to the office of PCW CEO.

The crowd then roars when Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition comes out.

Blackwell: “And you, Mr. PCW CEO, are being disrespectful to the people of Arizona…and other states by siccing your minions on them.”

Obama tells Blackwell he just made a huge mistake and that he can either apologize to him or face Democrat Yamamoto Tanaka- The Japanese SuperDestroyer in a Falls Count Anywhere match right now.  Blackwell: “Bring it on!”

MATCH #1
Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D) w/Reika

Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) 
HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 215 HOME: New Braunfels, TX
FIN: Tazzmission (Katahajime)
MGR: Kenzie Blackwell

Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
HT: 6′ 9″ WT: 350, HOME: Nagano, Japan
FIN: Japanese Super Destroyer
MGR: Mrs. Miyagi

[...Tanaka lifts Blackwell and delivers a back breaker.  Blackwell goes to the floor.]

Suave: “Hold on a second!  What’s John McCain doing down there?”

[McCain (R-AZ), accompanied by Jan Brewer,  sneaks up behind Tanaka with a blackjack.  *WHAP* Tanaka falls head first on the floor.  Reika is pissed off and runs over to check on her wrestler.  Brewer pulls her away just as Blackwell hits a frog splash on Tanaka and then a corkscrew legdrop.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!   McCain interferes in the match?  Why?”

McCain comes over to the broadcast table and grabs a microphone and justifies his interference because PCW CEO Obama can be ‘abrasive.’  When asked for further clarification…

McCain: “Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, had a similar exchange with the president.  It’s very well-known that he has a prickly personality and I think it’s been displayed in both of those cases. And I also think that Jan Brewer is very concerned about the security on our border.”

[Blackwell takes Tanaka into the ring. Blackwell runs in and leg drops Tanaka.  Blackwell follows with a handspring moonsault.  Blackwell then hits a screwdriver on Tanaka and slaps on the Katahajime.  Tanaka has no choice but to tap out. ]

WINNER: Charlie Blackwell @ 8:41

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Brewer’s Book Soars Up Bestseller List

After Obama face-off, Brewer’s book takes off

McCain backs Brewer in tarmac tiff, calls Obama ‘prickly’

Tanaka is furious and storms into PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid‘s (D-NV) office.  Reid is meeting with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and seems surprised to see the huge Japanese wrestler standing before him.  Reika walks in and demands to know where the back up was and how in the hell John ‘freakin’ McCain was able to get a cheap shot on him?

Reid tries to calm the big guy down but Reika isn’t having any of it.  Tanaka was promised a lot of things to come back to the Democrats and he’s been screwed out of a title shot.  Reid responds that Tanaka had a shot for the title and blew it when he couldn’t get past O’Beck Bahama (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).   Reid then tells him that he’s got bigger things to worry about- like the new alliance between the PCW Champion Daniel-San (R) and John Creese and his Cobra Cons.

Reid: “If you want to be useful, help Chism win the PCW title!”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Video Shows Senator Calm as He’s Detained

Rand Paul: “Just think what I would have done if I really really, really irate?”

Suave: “Make more phone calls?”

MATCH #2- Hostages on a Pole Match
Navy Seals 1 and 2 vs. Pirate Captain Jack Suarez and Pirate First Mate Jay

[The two Pirates are in the ring but the Navy Seals are no where to be found.  The bell rings and Navy Seal #1 slides in from underneath the ring.  Bulldog.  Sit down facebuster.  Pirate Jay tries to help but he's cut down by Navy Seal #2.  Navy Seal #1 rolls up Captain Jack...1...2...3.]

WINNER: The Navy Seals @ 1:15

The Seals cut down the hostages and leave the ring.

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC: Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona v. President Obama- Dust Up in Arizona

1. Perhaps if the President of the United States would stop using the Justice Department as a hammer against the states, there might not be this outwardly antagonistic atmosphere that permeates Brewer and Obama’s working relationship.

2. Unfortunately, said relationship causes the real issue to be clouded and when there is a definitive security problem on the Mexican border it’s a crime that goes back to the Bush Administration that the federal government has not taken constructive action to secure the border.

3.  Perhaps if the President were more concerned about that instead of how he’s perceived in someone’s book, the people of Arizona, and Texas, New Mexico, and California, might feel a little bit better about the issue of unfettered illegal immigrants streaming into the country.

—-

Suave: “Boy, that was a mouthful.  Where’s my theasaurus?”

Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post walks out and announces that Newt Gingrich can’t win.  Rubin contends that only a candidate who is ‘electable’ should emerge from the nominating process and that candidate is NOT Newt.

K-Roy (R) walks out with Gingrich.   K-Roy says he’s beaten their man, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott not once but twice now.  K-Roy says it’s the Republican Establishment who are afraid of Newt- not the American people.

Rubin tells K-Roy he’s a wrestler and not a politician and to ‘run along.’   K-Roy tells Rubin to tell Scott to get his ass in the ring and he’ll beat it all over the ring…again.

K-Roy gets in the ring but Scott does not come out.  Bob Dole does.

Suave: “Oh, great.  K-Roy’s going to kill Bob Dole in the ring.”

Thankfully, Dole does not get into the ring but reads from a statement:

I have not been critical of Newt Gingrich but it is now time to take a stand before it is too late. If Gingrich is the nominee it will have an adverse impact on Republican candidates running for county, state, and federal offices. Hardly anyone who served with Newt in Congress has endorsed him and that fact speaks for itself. He was a one-man-band who rarely took advice. It was his way or the highway.

Gingrich served as Speaker from 1995 to 1999 and had trouble within his own party. By 1997 a number of House Republican members wanted to throw him out as Speaker. But he hung on until after the 1998 elections when Newt could read the writing on the wall. His mounting ethics problems caused him to resign in early 1999. I know whereof I speak as I helped establish a line of credit of $150,000 to help Newt pay off the fine for his ethics violations. In the end, he paid the fine with money from other sources.

Gingrich had a new idea every minute and most of them were off the wall. He loved picking a fight with Bill Clinton because he knew this would get the attention of the press. This and a myriad of other specifics like shutting down the government helped to topple Gingrich in 1998.

In my run for the presidency in 1996 the Democrats greeted me with a number of negative TV ads and in every one of them Newt was in the ad. He was very unpopular and I am not only certain that this did not help me, but that it also cost House seats that year. Newt would show up at the campaign headquarters with an empty bucket in his hand — that was a symbol of some sort for him — and I never did know what he was doing or why he was doing it, and I’m not certain he knew either.

The Democrats are spending millions of dollars running negative ads against Romney as they are hoping that Gingrich will be the nominee which could result in a landslide victory for Obama and a crushing defeat for Republicans from the courthouse to the White House. Democrats are not running ads against Gingrich which is further proof they want to derail Governor Romney.

In my opinion if we want to avoid a sweeping victory by Obama in November, Republicans should nominate Governor Romney as our standard bearer. He could win because he has the requisite experience in the public and private sectors. He would be a PCW CEO in whom we could have confidence and he would make us proud.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

BLITZER’S BLOG: My thoughts before tonight’s debate

Ann Coulter To Glenn Beck: Newt Gingrich Is ‘Pompous And Boring’

Suave: “Whoa!  Bob Dole lays it down against Newt Gingrich!”

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC:    Democratic Rep. Jan Schakowsky (Ill.) re: Keystone XL- “Twenty thousand jobs is really not that many jobs, and investing in green technologies will produce that and more…”

1.  Sure, tell that to one of the 20,000 gainfully seeking employment.

2. The Green technologies who produce jobs- you mean the ones that keep going bankrupt- those jobs?

3.  Really?

K-Roy is still in the ring.  Finally, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott runs out and it’s on again.

[Scott and K-Roy throw haymakers left and right at each other.  Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Ron Paul (R-TX) run down but once again they are reduced to being spectators.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  HERE COMES CORPORATE MIGHT!”

Big Oil (R)
HT: 6′ 11″ WT: 323, HOME: Houston, TX
FIN: Oklahoma Driller (modified piledriver)
MGR: Texas Tex and Gordon Guyko

‘The Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit” Kirk Walstreit (R)
HT: 6-2  WT: 220, HOME: New York City, NY
FIN: Stock Market Plunge
MGR: Gordon Guyko

[Big Oil and Walstreit hit the ring and toss Scott aside to attack K-Roy.  Big Oil lays the chops across K-Roy's chest.  Walstreit delivers a couple of stiff right hands.  Gingrich is up on the apron screaming at the referee to stop this.  'The Queen of Political Extreme' Ann Coulter runs down and pulls Gingrich off the apron.  Gingrich and Coulter exchange words.  Big Oil lifts K-Roy up...OKLAHOMA DRILLER!]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  BIG OIL JUST SPIKED K-ROY!”

Down runs T-Roy (R) and the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (R).  They wade into the fray and it turns into a pier six brawl.

At the top of the ramp, PCW CEO Obama, Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, The California Teacher’s Union, PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism all watch.  Big Labor asks Obama if they should go down there and kick some ass.  Obama says that’s not necessary- they’re doing just fine.

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