PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Anderson Roll Arena
Thursday March 1st, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave
**10 Bell Tribute to Conservative Firebrand Andrew Breitbart**
Replay of end of Michigan Madness match Tuesday night where ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) tried to influence the ending by knocking out Yamamoto Tanaka (R)- representing ‘The Massachusett’s Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) and having A. Tom Bomb (R)- for Rick Santorum (R-PA) win.
The ‘Extreme Innovator of Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh discussed the contraceptive issue with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein. Limbaugh had this to say about Sandra Fluke, a Georgetown Law Student who recently testified that her student health insurance plan should cover contraceptives.
Limbaugh: What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. If we’re going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch.
Charlie Blackwell (AmerHeartland) beat Nate of Occupy Wall Street (D)
Nate rode a bicycle to the ring and berated middle class America for not joining their cause and siding with the 1%. Blackwell came to the ring with his Les Miserables, took a microphone, and launched into a diatribe against the Republicans and Democrats.
Blackwell: …let’s be clear here. The Republican Establishment are nothing more than a Borg that’s sucking the soul out of the Tea Party and Main Street America. And the Democrats? They handed control of their group over to a bunch of irresponsible ideologues who can’t grasp the concept that spending money we don’t have is…irresponsible.
Nate then attacked and lost quickly to Blackwell’s Katahajime submission. The rest of the O.W.S. then hit the ring but Blackwell’s ‘Les Miserables’ kicked them out.
PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein then spoke with Chism about what went down Tuesday night with the unexpected return of PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas.
Bernstein then showed a film clip of Chism’s reaction when Valora showed up:
Chism is in one of the stalls in the men’s room using the bathroom and well…um, never mind.
Chism: I had an intestinal…aliment……I ate some…bad food…that’s why I was in the bathroom
Suave: Seriously? First it was the return of Halitosis- the Luchador with Insane Smelling Breath? Then Newt Tron Bomb and his gaseous ‘Silent But Deadly’ submission comes back. Now, this? A clip of Chism crapping himself in the bathroom? What the hell is this- the WWE?
Natalya Farts Again- WWE
Nancy Pelosi- Limbaugh
‘The Queen Bee of the D’s’ Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) goes to the ring to complain about Rush Limbaugh’s comments about Law Student Sandra Fluke.
Pelosi: I’m surprised that Republican leaders haven’t condemned what Rush Limbaugh said, but GOPers would not be able to escape it. They won’t disassociate themselves from it. They’re tattooed with that. I wouldn’t want those words repeated in my office.
Suave: Yeah, because I’m sure Democrats would never say anything like that.
Suave: Exactly. I don’t think anyone’s apologized to the ‘Alaskan Pitbull’ for that yet.
PCW Television TItle Match
Halitosis (I) def. TV Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) via count-out- Chism retains the title
Chism worked the Republicans in the crowd by telling them how much he hated conservatives. This was a good back and forth match until Valora Salinas ran to the ring. Chism took off to the men’s locker room and reportedly spent several minutes in the bathroom as Valora pounded on the locker room door.
Suave: Really? Did Vince McMahon come up with this?
Olympia Snowe (R-ME)/Bob Kerrey (D-NE)
Snowe meets up with Kerrey backstage. Snowe, a moderate, tells him she’s retiring. When Kerrey asks why, she complained that toxic partisan battles have made the PCW Executive Committee unworkable. Snowe tells him that there’s no longer a place in either the PCW Executive and Competition Committee for ‘committed centrists.’
Kerrey laments that and tells Snowe he’s running for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Snowe asks ‘doesn’t he think he’ll run into the same problem?’
Then Markos Moulitsas (D) of the Daily Kos runs out and he’s none too pleased at Kerrey’s announcement.
Markos: I hope you get carpet bombed. The more Republicans have to fight in places like Nebraska, the less they’ll have to go after Democratic candidates who actually act like Democrats. And if it turns out you need the help, then too bad. F—- you.
Suave: Apparently, Markos hasn’t read this…
“Drift never makes the case that war might be necessary. America would be weakened dramatically if we had underreacted to 9/11. However, Rachel Maddow makes valid arguments that our country has been drifting towards questionable wars, draining our resources, without sufficient input and time. People who like Rachel will love the book. People who don’t will get angry, but aggressive debate is good for America. Drift is a book worth reading.”
Suave: Or this…
The year is 2017. In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.
But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest challenge to date. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.
Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.
What other book features a parody of Les Miserables and Smokey and the Bandit in the same story? And it features a scene with PCW too!
PCW Non-Title Match
PCW Champion Daniel-San (R) w/the Cobra Cons def. Axel Rodd (D)
Daniel-San came to the ring all bandaged up claiming injury from his recent CWC match. The progressives in the crowd absolutely lost it when Axel Rodd came to the ring and acted as if he was Justin Bieber.
Daniel-San played the cowardly heel and it was John Creese and his Cobra Cons do most of the work against Rodd. Following the Cobra Con beat down, Daniel-San forced Rodd to submit to the Labell Lock.