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Santorum Etch a Sketches Out a Win in Louisiana

PCW Nightmare in New Orleans Recap
Saturday March 24th

Lakefront Arena
New Orleans, LA
Host: Johnny Suave and his lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

PCW traveled to the land of Mardi Gras last night for another big show on their ‘Roadshow Across America’ tour.

Replay from Tuesday night’s PCW Chi-Town Collision Show…
A-Bomb hits Tanaka with the crotch slam.   A-Bomb slaps a bearhug on Tanaka. The referee checks…Tanaka  fights and then escapes.  A-Bomb tries for a snap suplex but Tanaka avoids it.  Tanaka turns it around- gut-wrench powerbomb on A-Bomb.  Then another Powerslam! And another Powerslam! And a third Powerslam! Tanaka mounts him on the mat and punches A-Bomb repeatedly.

Suave: A-BOMB’S IN TROUBLE AND THERE’S NOTHING RICK SANTORUM CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Tanaka shoulder tackles A-Bomb and then drags him to the top rope.  Tanaka picks A-Bomb up and hits the Japanese SuperDestroyer to the mat below.

Suave: THAT’S IT!  HE AIN’T GETTING UP FROM THAT ONE.

Tanaka covers A-Bomb hooking the leg.  The Referee counts the pin. …1 …2 …3

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) @ 15:26

Romney hits the ring and he’s ecstatic.


‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave and his lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Suave calls Tuesday night a big win for Tanaka and Romney.  Can A-Bomb…


A. Tom Bomb (R)

…bounce back tonight?

Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer Promo
Thomas said he was exhausted from working 70 hours between two jobs to help make ends meet for his family.  He said regardless, he would come out tonight and give it everything he had against his opponent even though the deck was stacked against him.  Thomas said both sides (Republicans and Democrats) care more about pushing their special interest groups than they are ordinary, average Americans and then went to the ring.

(1) Jordan Metzger of ‘The Bureaucracy’ (D) w/Kendra W. Wallace def. Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer
Metzger is the lead member of the Democrat‘s Bureaucracy stable and used the ‘Red Tape’ submission on Thomas, already choking on a national debt that’s increased as much in 3 years under Barack Obama than it did in 8 years under W, to win the match.

Metzger then took the American Taxpayer’s wallet, removed more money from it, and began to leave when Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition ran out and decked him.  Blackwell locked Metzger up in the Katahajime and then took Thomas’s money back from the Bureaucracy and gave it back to the American Taxpayer.

PCW Executive Committee
The PCW Executive Committee had a moment of clarity and unity as it came together to vote 74-22 on a Transportation Package.

Said Barbara Boxer (D-CA): “I am very humbled by that because Lord knows it’s hard to find those moments when we can come together.”  James Inhofe (R-OK) agreed, admitting that he and Boxer worked closely on the project even though the two were ‘opposite extremes on many issues.’

The package was sent to the PCW Competition Committee.


Politically Incorrect (from left): NRA, Andrea Doria (up), Al Cahall (down), and Nic Koteen

(2) NRA and Nic Koteen of Politically Incorrect (R) w/Andrea Doria def. Brad Company and Halitosis (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi
Koteen ‘Smoked’ Halitosis out for the win.

Post match, Politically Incorrect was confronted by the Green World Order (Radishing Rick Rube- Agronomist, GreenPete, Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA.  The GWO came out to introduced PI to their new ‘ace’- Radishing Rick Rube, by having Rube, GreenPete, and Lee attack NRA and Koteen.

PI’s Andrea Doria and the GWO’s Peta from PETA also got into a…

Suave: CAT-FIIIIIIIIGHT!  CAT-FIIIIIIIIGHT!

Finally, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (I) raced out to even the odds and chased the GWO out of the ring.

Doria then got on the microphone and announced that Scott had joined Politically Incorrect.

Suave Talks with David Axelrod (D)
Suave discusses the disappointing turnout at several big PCW shows during the ‘Roadshow Across America Tour.’  Axelrod blames it on the Republicans and their lackluster candidates for PCW CEO.  Axelrod says it’s clear that the Republicans are trying to rig the process to make sure a Republican remains the PCW champion and that’s why no one is coming out to the shows.

Out comes the Sanderman (D) who challenges any Republican in the PCW locker room to come out.  He’s less than thrilled when RINO-The Wonk Machine strolls out.

(3) The Sanderman def. RINO-The Wonk Machine (R)
RINO gets attacked on the way to the ring by Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) who deliver a double Scabbuster to the Wonk Machine.

RINO then limps to the ring and gets bludgeoned by The Sanderman who uses his left fist wrapped in sandpaper to rip open RINO’s face.

PCW Competition Committee
The PCW Competition Committee struggles to find consensus to pass the Transportation package.

Tea Party members ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay and Average Joe object to the high cost of the package along with the ‘Club for Growth’ and Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) can’t muster enough votes to call the proposal up for a vote.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Peyton Manning- Denver Bronco
Peyton Manning, surrounded by his entourage, holds up his brand spanking new orange Denver Bronco jersey and handles an interview with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein with the same careful phrasing and polish of a politician.

Then…


Pat Robertson (R)

…Pat Robertson weighed in???   Robertson says that Broncos treated Tim Tebow ‘shabbily.’

Robertson: Peyton Manning was a tremendous MVP quarterback. But he’s been injured, if that injury comes back, Denver will find itself without a quarterback. And in my opinion, it would serve them right.

Manning tries to laugh it off but then he’s attacked by…who?


Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother

Tom Tebow attacks Manning from behind but is dragged off the quarterback and tossed out of the ring by Manning’s entourage.

Suave: That was weird.

(4) Main Event: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Daisy Cutter-Bomb
Tanaka, riding high after his big win Tuesday night, gets cut down to size by A-Bomb.   After Mitt Romney tries to interfere by swinging an Etch a Sketch at A-Bomb but potatoes Tanaka instead, A-Bomb uses several successive Atomic Powerbombs to subdue the Japanese SuperDestroyer and get the win for Rick Santorum.

BACKSTAGE
Tom Tebow approaches two men backstage and holds out his hand.   The two men turn around…

Suave:HOLY CRAP!  IT’S SUSPENDED NEW ORLEANS SAINTS COACH SEAN PAYTON AND SUSPENDED ST. LOUIS RAM DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR GREGG WILLIAMS!

Williams hands Tebow cash and then both Payton and Williams leave.

Points Update:
Romney 565, Santorum 256. Gingrich 141, Paul 66

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