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FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

How I Became a Threat to Mom, America and Apple Pie Subsidies

It’s officially official. I can no longer equivocate or run for rhetorical cover. I am a baaaaaaaaaaaaaadddd man! According to the 7 April report by Department of Homeland Suppression (DHS), entitled Rightwing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment.
I’m officially a threat to Obamerica.

While I’ve always lingered a step or two to the right of Tamerlane and Attila The Hun in my political perspective, I never imagined these liberal fascists we foolishly elected last Fall would have the unmitigated gall. Where is the ACLU on this? Where is the hard-blowing, self-proclaimed expert on all things McCarthy David Corn?

The Obama Amatueristration Opus Fascem gets the comedy line out of the way early. On page 2, under the paragraph entitled “Scope”, they offer a pronouncement that leaves me needing to rinse my mouth after the barfing concludes.

Federal efforts to influence domestic public opinion must be
conducted in an overt and transparent manner, clearly identifying United States
Government sponsorship.

However, they quickly demonstrate that the document has no clear basis in actual evidence of a clear and present danger. Under the paragraph entitled “Key Findings.”

The DHS/Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A) has no specific
information that domestic rightwing* terrorists are currently planning acts of violence,
but rightwing extremists may be gaining new recruits by playing on their fears about
several emergent issues. The economic downturn and the election of the first
African American president present unique drivers for rightwing radicalization and
recruitment.

So these devious rightwing no-good-niks aren’t doing anything that constitutes a violation of any Federal Laws. The DHS also has no credible factual basis to accuse them of planning overt acts of violence; unless you count a vote against Barack Obama as an act of heresy against the secular religion of post-modern statism. However, they do offer a scatological gravamen for the issuance of this openly antagonistic cheap-shot smearing of their political enemies.

Nevertheless, the consequences of a prolonged economic
downturn—including real estate foreclosures, unemployment, and an inability
to obtain credit—could create a fertile recruiting environment for rightwing
extremists and even result in confrontations between such groups and
government authorities similar to those in the past.

Rightwing extremists have capitalized on the election of the first
African American president, and are focusing their efforts to recruit new
members, mobilize existing supporters, and broaden their scope and appeal
through propaganda, but they have not yet turned to attack planning.

The document maunders onward towards a predictable conclusion that the hyper-powered state must “watch” these rightwing extremists closely. When they gather for events like, oh, I dunno, Tea Parties, there may be a sinister undercurrent of hate. Now, DHS doesn’t want to make them all wear Stars-of-David on their prison jumpsuits just yet. That would be hasty and oh so bad for the Presidential approval ratings. So they’ll just keep tabs on those people for now.

And just who are those people? The DHS kindly offers an explanatory footnote that should be studied by future generations who want to demonize their political foes on the taxpayer dime.

Rightwing extremism in the United States can be broadly divided into those groups, movements, and adherents that are primarily hate-oriented (based on hatred of particular religious, racial or ethnic groups), and those that are mainly antigovernment, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, or rejecting government authority entirely. It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration.

Now this part of the document was studied, measured and rhetorically engineered. It is a disingenuous masterpiece of political spear-fishing. The DHS has ingeniously created a philosophical set that groups David Duke, most American Catholic Arch-Bishops, Ron Paul, Senator Jeff Sessions, Eric Rudolph, Congressman Jeff Flake, Timothy McVeigh, and Henry Hyde all in the same neat equivalence class. This equivalence class that not-so-coincidentally inheres many of the reasons of honest and concerned conscience that prevent me and all three of my constant readers from ever pulling the lever for a modern Democrat.

The Department of Homeland Security has taken on a vital new mission. It no longer concerns itself with boring, old security theater. Frisking blue-haired old women and airport Hari-Krishnas is no longer a high enough mission. Homeland security must now plant the memes in public thought that protect President Obama from adverse public reaction.

As I blogged earlier in this new amatueristration, every Ingsoc must have its Goldstein. Every heretical idea must be branded as thought crime.

With our TARP State controlling the money and DHS controlling the current definition of terrorist, we now journey ever closer to the unitary state. It’s worked so well for Zimbabwe and Venezuela. You’d have to be a tar-heeled wingnut to oppose this glorious vision. At least that’s the gospel according to our new DHS.

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