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Gillibrand focuses on what’s important: counting calories

(cross-posted at SLC Republitarian)

You’d think Senator Gillibrand would have important things to do, as both a member of the US Senate and as a member of the Agriculture Committee. Things like dealing with the economy, for example (not that I necessarily want her to and her Democrat allies to be passing legislation and such, but, still). But evidently, what she and others find to be of surpassing importance is a bill to require calorie counts on chain restaurant menues.

Well, I for one wish her all the luck in the world. After all, clearly the only reason I’m fat is because I just don’t understand how many calories I’m putting into my body. Well, that, and because soda is just a few cents too cheap. Please, Federal Government, save me from myself. If only I knew how fattening these foods are, I could stop putting them in my body. Just like how everybody quit smoking after the Surgeon General made them put all the cancer warnings on packs of cigarettes. And the children! How are parents supposed to know that chicken wrapped in starch and fried is actually not the healthiest thing their kids could eat, without proper labeling on the menues to tell them?

But, you know, why stop there? If the government is to be in charge of my safety and well-being (like all good governments should), why even give me the option? Why not just outlaw fatty foods? And cigarettes. Driving faster than 35 mph? Driving at all?

(warning: some strong language)

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