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Don’t Fear the Reaper; Fear the Right Wing!

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Thought Police

According to the Department of Homeland Security report, that is, of which “report’ I am certain you are all very much aware. Still, I’m quoting some of the report below, as it bears repeating…and the reasoning behind said report is something we should keep in mind; the Left strives to silence us.  They wish to marginalize us and demonize us so that people will dismiss our ideas as crazy pants.

The Department of Homeland Security is warning law enforcement officials about a rise in “rightwing extremist activity,” saying the economic recession, the election of America’s first black president and the return of a few disgruntled war veterans could swell the ranks of white-power militias.

A footnote attached to the report by the Homeland Security Office of Intelligence and Analysis defines “rightwing extremism in the United States” as including not just racist or hate groups, but also groups that reject federal authority in favor of state or local authority.

“It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single-issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration,” the warning says.

The White House has distanced itself from the analysis. When asked for comment on its contents, White House spokesman Nick Shapiro said, “The President is focused not on politics but rather taking the steps necessary to protect all Americans from the threat of violence and terrorism regardless of its origins. He also believes those who serve represent the best of this country, and he will continue to ensure that our veterans receive the respect and benefits they have earned.”

I am this close to calling for a repeal of Godwin’s Law, as all that keeps running through my mind is “First they came for “de facto” Rush, and I did nothing. Then they came for Glenn Beck, and I did nothing….aside from some snarky comments for my own amusement.” Well, now they are coming for me and it is no longer funny. It’s a different story now that it is personal; as a Republican/Conservative, I only care about myself, of course.

According to that report, which report by the way Janet Napolitano did NOT decry in her lame, half-hearted “apology”, rejecting federal authority for state/local authority is criminal and radically extreme? So, THE CONSTITUTION is the most nefarious Manifesto going then, insidiously working it’s way through the very fiber of our society since 1788.

A warning to everyone: I am super dangerous, evidently. Not only am I “right-wing” and *gasp* oppose abortion, but I’m Christian (albeit a sorta lapsed Presbyterian) AND I home school. The Trifecta of Evil! At least I’m not as diabolical as the entire State of Texas, however. They are affirming their sovereignty…oh, no *shuddering* …icky dangerous state’s rights!

The Department of Homeland Security under Janet Napolitano (who I am pretty sure is really Janet Reno, only post-op) has already announced that terrorism is just pesky man-made disasters. But Conservatives? Dangerous Radical Extremists. Saul Alinsky inspired “Community Organizing” and ACORN fraud and the Weather Underground? All good and worthy of actual funding by the taxpayer! But Conservative grassroots organized tea parties? Pure evil extremism. I suspect racist as well.

What, exactly, makes us so iniquitous? Is it because we don’t buy your newspeak? We trust our own eyes over things like your “Move along, nothing to see here, he was just bending down..not a bow. Simply a greeting, nothing subservient at all. Nope. Plus, guys, remember that Bush dude?!” By the way, last time I bowed that low, I got an engagement ring out of the deal (shout out to my ladies!) Oh, I forgot. That’s just nitpicking.

Or is it because we believe in actual freedom, private property rights, individual liberties and, yes, the American Dream where one works hard and isn’t vilified when they achieve any modicum of success. Is it because we don’t think that the Government should be your Mommy, taking care of every need from cradle to grave…Oops, I mean Daddy since our society is so patriarchal and oppressive. Which reminds me, shouldn’t self professed feminists eschew the Obama administration, since it is made up primarily of icky men (aside from Clinton and Napolitano…No, wait, it is totally made up of men. Meow)

It is funny how the Left, who claim to be oh-so-tolerant, open-minded and who profess the freedom of individuality mantra are actually the ones who seek to silence any thought and opinions that differ from their own tunnel-visioned view of the World. With all their talk of enlightenment and evolution, THEY are literally De-volving (it’s a word. I have that power…hello? Evil!) into the worst kind of pack mentality. They are actually moving AGAINST basic, innate human nature and what used to be a penchant to strive for success. They are the antithesis of that. In diametric opposition to natural instinct, they seek to turn individual success and enterprise into a punishment. Into a failure.

Well, we won’t be your “useful idiots”…..perhaps that is why you fear us so.

Though, I can’t really blame you for your fear. We are truly fiendish. You know that whole deal where Conservatives give more money to charity than Liberals do? Even in poor cracker Southern States? That is all just a nefarious plot to get back at President Carter. I’d tell you the details of the scheme, but then I’d have to hurt you, being a radical extremist and all. And by hurt you, I mean by trying to debate something rationally with you, omitting the word Bush. Or by asking you about that pesky old document called the Constitution. . Or, by politely requesting that you stop taking my money to pay for other people’s mortgages, maybe let me keep some more of my own so *I* can get a mortgage. One that I can afford and not just obtain because *I want it* and hope (and change) that my income will somehow magically double in 2 years when the rate goes up. You know, Evil things like that. In fact, as a service to my fellow RightWingers, here are some other evil tips for radical extremist acts that I employ daily, sort of my own “Rules for Radicals”:

When feeling extra radical-y, go find someone with an Obama bumper sticker and viciously thumb nose at them.

When someone talks about stopping dangerously radical RightWing thugs, totally frighten them by singing The Nat’l Anthem.

During any of Obama’s ever-present press conferences or tv appearances, indulge the sure to be wave of uncontrollable radical rightwing extremism that comes over you, and viciously stick your tongue out at TV

When reading any of your National Review’s with Obama on cove, fiendishly draw a mustache and devil horns on it in a frenzied rage of rightwing extremism

So you see, I’m sorry Janet Napolitano and your Homeland Security Department, but I will continue to follow the sage advice Dylan Thomas, as interpreted by Mr. Rodney Dangerfield (of whom y’all should approve, Pres Obama being a fellow insult comic and all)…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTv1Dmu5CYc

P.S. Yeah, OK, perhaps that was a bit of a diatribe, but I’m a chick and thus prone to extreme (heh) emotion. Plus, I have cramps.

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