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How much considerably beefy and burdensome junk can be in one woman’s trunk?

Hillary Clinton’s plate is full.

Bill Clinton threw a birthday for someone very special in Las Vegas. Slick Willy really knows how to throw a party. He picked a great place for it. Dinner at one of the hottest and most pricey restaurants on the Strip…Craftsteak at the MGM Grand hotel.

Where they elevate the concept of a steakhouse by charging $240 for an 8-ounce wagyu New York strip steak. Potatoes and other sides are extra, of course.

All the A-list Douchenistas were there. Former Vice President Al Gore and John D. Podesta. As well as Terry McAuliffe, Paul Begala, Haim Saban….wait, who?..Hollywood executive and significant financial contributor to Mr. Clinton.

Lets not forget Steve Bing, Hollywood media mogul who regularly lends Bill his private jet. Even if Bill wants to take it to North Korea, and poke his big fat nose up in Hillary’s business.

So who would Bill throw such a lavish party for? That’s right, himself. Turns out he just turned 63.

Why was Bill having it now, when his birthday isn’t until Aug 19th? Why would he invite Algore? Why would Algore come to Clinton’s b-day, unless there was some kind of manmade ego cooling or some sort of a rapprochement between them.

I think I remember, I was talking to Harry Reid and he mentioned something about a ‘National Clean Energy Summit’ that he was throwing together. Bill Clinton was one of the marquee speakers. Does Algore know that both China and India told him to go bugger off as far as capping emissions go? Did Algore remember to turn off all his lights at the mansion? Does Algore pleasure himself while watching Inconvenient Truth?

I gotta give credit, two events with one trip to Vegas…props to all those guys for using their private-jet fuel so efficiently.

It weighs heavy on Hillary’s heart that she can’t be there watching over Bill, but, like her grand derriere, she carries her huge burden without complaint.

Hillary has to be strong as she deftly manages the unbearable weight of her massive workload. Plus, folks always seize on these episodes as evidence of further troubles in the substantially gravid Clinton marriage.

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, left, is seen here letting housing project manger Patricia Matolengwe, right, try on some of her clothes during a visit on the outskirts of Cape Town, South Africa(AP Photo/Phil Graves)

President Jacob Zuma’s administration of South Africa has overturned the failed AIDS polices of his predecessor, Thabo Mbeki, and in so doing has reversed damage, saved lives and reinstated good relations with the international community. South Africa, with its enormous AIDS problem, had been conducting AIDS policies that were based on prejudice rather than science.

This week, Hillary welcomed the new South African governments approach to dealing with the HIV and AIDS problem, after years in which SA officials denied the link between the two and even promoted ‘cures’ such as eating beets and garlic. Hillary politely disagreed saying a parturient amount of eating can be a great way of dealing with most any problem.

“Is that the catering truck I hear?, get me something with bacon on it” Clinton said at a US-funded clinic where emaciated patients receive antiretroviral drugs.

So,Hillary continues her elephantine march through an 11-day tour of Africa, speaking in the conflict-torn Democratic Republic of Congo, which faces an epidemic of rape and sexual violence.

Now either Hillary hasn’t ‘been treated like a woman’ for quite some time or she’s having the painters in for hummer week, cause she had a hair trigger…especially when someone mentioned her care-free husband. (who was probably naked doing Tequila belly shots as they spoke)

Maybe she misheard the question? Hillary’s thick skin strained against the faux-polyester material of her tight-fitting pantsuit as the French translator got it wrong, translating “what does your husband think” for “what does your president think.”

“Wait, you want to know what my husband thinks? My husband is not the secretary of State…I am,” she snapped. “You ask my opinion, I will tell you my opinion. I’m not going to be channeling my husband.”

“It’s inappropriate for a diplomat to be so harshly personal,” said Robert Schadler, senior fellow in public diplomacy at the American Foreign Policy Council, “You can’t imagine the great secretaries of state with expressing that unnecessary personal view when they would be overseas and talking to a foreign audience.”

I think Clinton’s outburst was a reaction to her struggle to remain comfortable in a chair that was barely holding together under the substantial heftiness of her-thighness, as well as the fact that the first six months as top diplomat have been overshadowed by her husband’s successful mission last week bring home two American journalists from a North Korean prison.

Hillary Clinton has struggled for decades to balance her weight, her interests and her ambitions against her husband’s.

She was sidelined in June with a broken elbow, which luckily didn’t interfere with her multi-course meals, but it did keep her from accompanying President Obama on some high-profile foreign trips. Rumor has it she can consume mass-quantities of Honey-roasted peanuts. Incidently, this is not the first time people have asked for her husband’s point of view.

Speaking of her husband, Hillary unveiled a $17 million plan Tuesday to fight the widespread sexual violence in eastern Congo, the problem she said was “an evil that really hits home.”

The corpulent cabinet secretary, speaking from a reinforced stage, during a visit to Goma, the epicenter of war-torn Congo, she said she would send military folks to help train Congolese police officers to crack down on rapists. She also said the American government would help train gynecologists and supply rape victims with video cameras…..to document the violence…What the Heck?

“This problem is too big for one country to solve alone, I’m not here to leave a business card, but I can’t wave a magic wand either”…again, What the Heck?

Hey Hillary, did you know that the Congo has been awash in bloodshed for more than a decade. You don’t have time for another bag of cookies. Recent Congo-Rwanda military operations along the border have provoked revenge attacks and driven more than 500,000 people from their homes. Dozens of villages of have been burned, hundreds of villagers massacred and countless women raped. In fact, hundreds of thousands of women have been sexually assaulted. Put down the Nachos Bell Grande and pay attention. Rapes of men have begun to increase as well.

When Clinton lugged her abundant and copious frame to Africa, she promised she would shine a light on the civilian deaths and endemic sexual violence and that she would call on the government of Congo, whose own soldiers share some blame in many of the abuses, to do a better job of protecting its own people. I gather that’s where the Video cameras come in…Heck of a job, Hillary.

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