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Up yours, nutroots! Part I.

Or, "Hey, maybe that al Qaeda thing wasn't a bunch of bunk after all!"

You’ve all read the posts. As users of the internet and interactors (grant me the license to make up a word) with various types of unhinged nutroots posters, you’ve had the pleasure of reading stuff like this:

Pure, 100% nuttiness. Accept no substitutes.

**We Americans have been known all over the world for our generosity, kindness, and compassion. When there have been major catastrophes such as earthquakes, floods, or tsunamis the Americans have always been there to help in every possible way. That is all done now.

Nobody thinks of these things anymore when they think of Americans.

When the world contemplates America now, they think instead of the horrors of Abu Ghraib, Bagram, and Gitmo. They think about waterboarding, sexual humiliation, and torture. They think about rape, beatings, flagrant human rights abuses, and cold-blooded murder. Thanks to George W. Bush and the neocon Republicans this has become our enduring legacy.**

Today, fellow RedStaters, we begin a multi-part series called, “Up Yours, nutroots!”. The premise of which is to highlight every time Obama throws a koskid like the boob above under the HopeandChange bus. Some call it the application of reality; I call it hilarious.One recurring theme we’ve all had the displeasure of being on the receiving end of is a spittle-fueled bit of rage concerning the treatment of captured al Qaeda combatants. Notice that I do not use the term “Prisoners of war”, because unlike our long-winded and bong-snozzled friend above, I’ve actually read the pertinent part of the Geneva Conventions.

So what, then, might President Obama do about this terrible tragedy? How will he fix things so that koskidz everywhere can feel superior again in the red light district of Amsterdam or hold their heads in some coffee dive in Pareee?

Indeed. Change is nigh:

*WASHINGTON — President-elect Barack Obama is unlikely to radically overhaul controversial Bush administration intelligence policies, advisers say, an approach that is almost certain to create tension within the Democratic Party. … Mr. Obama is being advised largely by a group of intelligence professionals, including some who have supported Republicans, and centrist former officials in the Clinton administration. They say he is likely to fill key intelligence posts with pragmatists.

“He’s going to take a very centrist approach to these issues,” said Roger Cressey, a former counterterrorism official in the Clinton and Bush administrations. “Whenever an administration swings too far on the spectrum left or right, we end up getting ourselves in big trouble.”* Or maybe not.

Extending the Bush policies of wiretaps, detentions and enhanced interrogation tactics against al Qaeda combatants is a bright, shiny one-fingered salute to the nutroot community. One can only anticipate the angst our erstwhile koskid will feel if the policy extensions should come to pass.

My theory? Obama and his team got their very first security briefings. And promptly thought, “Oh . Those guys weren’t lying and playing the fear card after all,”. Or Obama went and hired some actual professionals who applied the clue hammer to his skull and filled him in on the concept that yes, there are bad people in the world who don’t like us very much. And by the way, you might want to consider being able to do something about it some day.

Notice the bolded part (emphasis mine) of Cressey’s quote. By keeping the same policies intact, and labeling said policies as essentially centrist, he’s noting that Obama would be continuing the centrist policies of…George W. Bush.

Obama’s not even been inaugurated yet, and already we have some delicious trial balloons afloat. Stay tuned, folks. There’s liable to be plenty more on the way :).

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