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Putin Dismisses American Exceptionalism

Vladimir Putin Is Short, So He's Bitter About Many Things

In an op-ed rant in the New York Times, Russian president for all eternity Vladimir Putin took some time out to criticize President Obama on issues concerning Syria, chemical weapons, and he also found some time to dismiss the idea of American exceptionalism by essentially telling Americans in an American newspaper that we aren’t so exceptional and to think so is pretty misguided.

What do you expect however from a man who shows absolutely no human emotion whatsoever. On top of that he’s very short, looks to be about 5’4 in shoes, barefoot about 5’0. Now don’t get me wrong just because someone is short doesn’t mean they’re any less capable of doing things. I mean Putin can do things we normal size folks cannot. For example he can whitewater raft on a Ritz cracker, drive a Micro Machine, and get laid by a Barbie doll. He’s a very unique man, and rugged with his hunting and fishing spreads where he just can’t seem to keep his shirt on. Dude has no physique at all yet he insists on not wearing a shirt.

Putin says we shouldn’t feel exceptionalism as Americans, and its funny because he probably tells the Russian people they shouldn’t feel exceptional as human beings.

Okay Poo, my big homey, maybe you’re right; maybe we shouldn’t feel so good about ourselves as Americans. After all we’ve done a lot of things throughout our history that most people wouldn’t classify as exceptional.

But what about you Poo? Do you feel you’re an exceptional individual? Former KGB shot caller who as president the first go round was known for let’s just say having the know how when it comes to making journalists who criticized your administration disappear.

Poo you’re short, you look like Macaulay Culkin and your wife told me you have a small penis. A man that short I understand why he would lash out at any form of confidence be it a nation or individual.

You’re the president for eternity of a nation whose chief export is Vodka and mail order wives.

Now I admit as an avid hockey fan Pavel Bure, Sergei Federov, Igor Larionov, and many others from mother Russia have become legends in the NHL, but Alexander Ovechkin can’t get it done in the playoffs.

Maybe you’re still upset over the Miracle on Ice.

Maybe you’re upset over the fall of the Soviet Union

Maybe you’re upset because every time stand beside other world leaders for the G-20 photo you’re noticeably shorter than everyone else.

Maybe you’re just a short, beer muscle flexing KGB hump who needs to stop searching for tigers before he mess around and find one.

Yes our president is not so good at his job, and yes you punked him but keep in mind he’s out in 2016. You’re president for life so you better watch yourself before you run across an American president who unlike Obama, is “bout dat life”

You think if Col. Allen West was commander in chief Putin would come here and write an op-ed bashing him and American exceptionalism, yeah right. I keep trying to tell people Col. West is a goon, he looks like the type who ain’t having it.

Truth is Poo we’re all exceptional in our own way. It’s not necessarily the country we come from but how we utilize the potential God gave us to achieve that which makes us exceptional.

So, if you can’t grasp that then this (hand on d*ck), and blow.

 

Sincerely,

El Fantasma

 

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