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The Obama Speech That SHOULD Have Been Given

After listening to the socialist-in-chief last night, it was obvious that Obama doesn’t know WHAT to do and almost just as importantly, he doesn’t know what Americans want to hear from him. So I have written the speech for him – for free. He can use it at his leisure (which we know he has a lot of)…

My fellow Americans,

By now, it is apparent to everyone that BP was not adequately prepared for an oil leak of this magnitude. It is also equally apparent that our own Federal Government was not prepared to respond swiftly in a manner that our own laws dictate. We completely misjudged the scope of the problem from the beginning and made bad, irreversible decisions that did not allow us to contain the situation as we should have. However, from THIS point forward, we will be working in a proactive manner with governments, private industry, individuals and foreign countries in order to resolve the challenges we face.

The first and most important thing we will be doing is to divide and conquer. For the most part, BP will be responsible to seal the leak. We will, of course, provide any necessary support and resources needed to help in this effort. But the Federal government’s MAIN priority is Homeland Security. Our efforts will be focused on two things – stopping as much of the oil from reaching our coastlines as possible – and removing the oil that DOES reach our shores.

We will open four clearinghouses in each of the gulf states that are affected by this oil spill. This will be a place where businesses can file claims for help, where citizens can volunteer their time to assist in the clean-up and where daily updates are given on the status of what is being done in their region, among many other responsibilities. The military commanders in charge of these clearinghouses will report directly to the governors, who will report directly to me.

We will respond to offers of help from every business and foreign government who presents their assistance to us. Red-tape will not be an issue. We will fast-track all permits and requests by the governors so that they can protect their shores, economy and way of life. No request will go unanswered for more than three days. Decisions must be swift and forthcoming.

Lastly, but just as important, we will immediately open access to the oil in Alaska so that the people and businesses from the Gulf are offered an opportunity to make a living Although I have shut down any future employment in the Gulf with my deep water drilling moratorium, everyone must realize that oil is a vital, domestic resource. Do you drive a car? Do you fly in a plane? Do you eat food delivered by a truck? Oil is the engine of our freedom and is a part of our daily lives. We need to find sustainable ways to produce our own energy so that we don’t have to rely on foreign countries. While we drill for oil in safer areas of our country, we will at the same time be developing nuclear energy, working with natural gas and other PROVEN energy sources.

Good night. And God Bless Obamaland…um, I mean America.

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