Health Care, Cows and Ice Cream
I received an email today that included a nice little story relating to the health care bill. Probably not a true story but still very clever and a fun read. I thought that it could use a little more detail and information to truely make it fit what is going on. So I’ve included my version below the original. Let me know what you think.
Alright now back up a little bit to where Olivia won and where there were questions regarding who was going to pay for the ice cream…
Olivia – President
Teachers – Government
Students – American People
Ice Cream Companies – Insurance Companies
Farmers – Doctors
Ice Cream – Health Care Bill
Cows – Patients
Your lunch price will be increased 10 cents per day, and that 10 cents will be going towards the ice cream fund. You also will NOT be receiving any ice cream until the next school year. During this time Olivia and the teachers will be negotiating with the evil ice cream companies. The ice cream companies will be told what ingredients to use and how much they will pay the farmer for milk. Of course the farmer will be getting less money for his milk but he wants the business so he has no choice but to agree to the terms. The next year rolls around and sure enough Olivia’s classroom gets ice cream every day. But now all the classrooms want ice cream, so they are also told to bring in an extra 10 cents per day. Olivia and the teachers now have the brilliant idea that they will raise their own cows and make their own ice cream out on the playground. They will only make vanilla but they can now make enough ice cream for the whole school and they are not concerned with profit so if some kids can’t afford the 10 cents that is fine because they will be collecting 20 cents per day from the rich kids.
After 10 years all the schools have evolved into one big network of ice cream making madness and of course the ice cream companies have gone out of business. The farmers now work for the schools tending to the cows.
So what if Charlie wants chocolate ice cream? Sorry Charlie!
What if Amy and Peter don’t want any ice cream at all? Sorry you are required by law to take the ice cream!
What if Molly wants to bring in her own ice cream? She can bring in vanilla ice cream. It is against the law for her to bring any other flavor.