So Barack Obama is speaking right now. He’s turning his head back and forth so much for the teleprompter that I think he’s watching a tennis game. I can’t find where the ball is hiding though.

8:26: “Build on what works and fix what doesn’t.” Everyone stands and applauds. This is the problem though: he doesn’t believe it. He wants to raise the costs of private insurance so much that government insurance looks cheap in comparison. In other words, he wants to raise prices all around and, in the process, break the system.

8:28: Just noticed Nancy and Joe. It looks like they had their botox. Better enjoy it while they can because because the Democrats want to tax the hell out of it.

8:28: He’s accusing others of playing “short-term” politics. But . . . but . . . what the hell is this speech? Obama is accusing others of playing politics when he is playing politics.

Three basic goals:

• More security and stability.
• Insurance for those who don’t have it.
• Slow the costs of healthcare.

But he won’t propose tort reform, which would slow the costs of healthcare.

8:30: Obama says his plan includes input from his “primary opponents.” What’s that? Remember Hillary supporting forced mandates for insurance and Obama bashing her in Ohio? Yeah. He’s caving on that.

8:31: “No one should go broke because they get sick,” he says. He stole that from Facebook. Of course, no one should have their insurance lost to pay for the insurance of those who don’t have it. And that’s what he would have happen.

8:32: He’s talking about the exchange. The exchange forces employees who leave their present employer to get on government insurance. They would have no choice.

8:34: Four years? In other words he wants to push the ball down the road so he doesn’t have to deal with the costs during a re-election campaign.

8:35: I told you he was going to flip-flop on mandatory coverage. Oh, and businesses are going to be forced to pay. And here we go: the requirements on business will necessitate businesses don’t grow or they throw employees off their insurance and into a government plan.

8:37: Barack Obama takes on the death panels. He calls them a lie. EXCEPT THEY ARE NOT.

8:38: He says abortions won’t be funded and illegal immigrants won’t be funded. He is lying.
Whichever member yelled out “it’s a lie,” gets a drink on me.

8:39: ZOMG! He said “choice and competition.” Quick, quick stand up and clap Republicans.

8:40: Barack Obama tries to claim a government option is competition. This is crap.

8:42: If lying is a sin, Barack Obama is in big trouble. He’s using so many disproven fatuous canards he’s turning into a walking red herring.

8:43: Talking about the Public Option. He’s trying to split the baby.

8:46: “We will provide you with a choice.” No, we will enslave you to the government.

8:48: Barack Obama wants to speak directly to seniors. They must have put a senior on his teleprompter, because he’s speaking directly there and not at the camera.

8:50: Barack Obama has blown this. He’s turned it into a campaign speech using Congress as a prop. He’s needling the Republicans instead of trying to work with them.

8:53: Obama actually brings up tort reform. Defensive medicine “maybe” contributing to costs? What a load of crap. So Obama is going to pass this off to HHS to rig some results that make it look like tort reform does nothing.

8:56: Barack Obama stakes his Presidency on healthcare. And he says he’ll call us out for distorting the plan. Will he call himself out for distorting the plan?

8:56: He pulls out Teddy Kennedy’s corpse and drags it around the House chamber now. Thank God he drank so much. His body looks well preserved.

8:59: My God. This has become “Weekend at Teddy’s.” Where are Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman?

9:03: I’m waiting for him to go “I still believe in a place called hope.”