First it was the Abdullah Asieri, the ass-assin who had American security experts, “pooping in their pants,” because the suicide butt bomber stuffed a pound of explosives and a handy detonator in his rectum.  Now Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, better known as the ‘Banana Hammock Bomber’ carefully sewing explosive powder into his underwear has brought security awareness to a whole new level.  New, innovative terrorist tactics deserve to be designated worldwide as, the Butt-Balls Bomber Brigade.

Just sitting around with a pound of explosives up your ‘Ass-ieri’ is an impressive feat regardless of the motivation.  But blowing up your manhood, by detonating a bomb in such close proximity to the family jewels is equally extraordinary. Apparently, radical extremist Umar Farouk was firmly committed to making jihad, so much so,  Abdulmutallab willingly subjected his rocks to being rocked, while ‘striving in the way of Allah’.”

Interviewed immediately after being arrested, Umar said that holy warriors in Yemen believe putting ballocks first in line in a militant war is the ultimate testes for any serious terrorist.   Umar promised America to be warned that legions of  scrotal sacrificing soldiers are on the way “…carrying bombs to hit the enemies of God,”  tucked behind, inside and underneath various and sundry body parts.

After being detained Umar kept saying what many thought was “Ohmah Akbags,” but closer attention to what was being said revealed the bomber muttering “Allah Akbar.”

In addition, the young Nigerian kept insisting that, “Americans are ‘nuts’.”  The youthful terrorist told authorities that al-Qaida is determined to teach America what having real cullions really means, even if a martyr’s 72 virgin welcome into paradise has you arriving sans scrotum.

Carrying nothing more than his ‘bags’ on-board, Umar spent a long time locked in the bathroom readjusting his basket.  Upon returning to his seat, lunch was being served when Umar Farouk gave new meaning to the word “fire of my loins” by detonating and igniting his gonads, under a blanket, to the surprise of 278 passengers aboard the airline.

Disregarding private parts etiquette, Dutch video producer Jasper Schuringa scrambled over rows of seats to subdue Abdulmutallab as he tried to detonate a phial of powder strapped to his testicles.  Jasper sprung into action after hearing someone shouting: “Fire, fire.” He said: “I pulled the object from him and tried to extinguish the fire with my hands and threw it away.”

Talk about giving all for the cause!  Subdued and overcome by passengers on Northwest flight 253, Umar Farouk’s drawers were, “… slightly charred and singed…the bomb packet still in place,” the Nigerian banana flambé, though burnt to a crisp, was found to miraculously still be intact.

Special thanks to Eric Daniel Brown

www.jeannie-ology.com

State Police in Pennsylvania are asking for the public’s help in identifying a suspect who robbed a bank in Chadds Ford Township dressed like Santa Claus.  According to police, investigators are seeking a white male, wearing black sweatpants and sweatshirt and a fake grey “Santa Claus” beard.

Santa Claus is the iconic symbol of giving. An ebullient St. Nick spends all year crafting gifts in the North Pole, and then generously loads up the sleigh on Christmas Eve setting out on a global mission to disperse gifts to good boys and girls the world over.

Santa Claus caught on camera a robbing bank is a sure sign the world is in a downward spiral. And why not, ‘Baby face’ Nelson wannabes rejecting clown masks and donning Santa suits represents the present political climate in America.  It was role model, Barack Obama who promoted himself as Santa Claus and then after moving into the White House, whipped off the red Santa suit and transformed into famous bank robber Willie Sutton.

Obama is gracious, well mannered and gentlemanly and an “innovative robber” like Sutton who was renowned for being polite while performing armed robbery.  “One victim said witnessing one of Sutton’s robberies was like being at the movies, except the usher had a gun. When asked why he robbed banks, Sutton simply replied, “Because that’s where the money is.”

For a year orchestrated by a robber pretending to be an usher the nation has been in the midst of an uninterrupted stick up.  Like a movie, Americans have been reduced to spectators observing a burglary by a calm, pleasant bandit finessing money from hard working people, small businesses and the federal budget with such polish and coordination that grand larceny resembles a Radio City Music Hall Christmas Show.

Committing nationwide theft, while pretending to be Santa Claus, is downright blasphemous. If Obama were honest he’d ditch the Santa suit and slip on a pair of green Robin Hood tights. Dressing like Santa, as a precursor to theft, is as bad as a disguising a duck hunter as St. Francis of Assisi or an abortion clinic worker in a Mother Theresa-style sari.

Like Willie Sutton before him, Santa Claus Bandit Barack and his merry band of elves go where the “money is.” Though undeniably a heist, Obama justifies blatant thievery by redistributing stolen possessions from those who earned them to those who didn’t. Donning a Santa outfit the message Obama sends is: This year, children who deserve coal in Christmas stockings will be given brightly wrapped presents and hardworking children get nothing but coal.

In addition to sliding notes to tellers that say, “Scream and I’ll shoot,” Obama also drives the getaway car. Yet, clueless victims affectionately continue to cheer the brigand on.  Some misguided Americans still support a crook while liberal ideology holds economic, social and political futures ransom. A President pretending to be Father Christmas holds the barrel of a policy gun to America’s head demanding pockets be emptied into a socialistic attaché case held open by the person who swore to protect Constitutional rights to private property.

Replete with night goggles and a calculator Obama, in an effort to promote fairness, has spent many years carefully scoping out flourishing citizens to pinch.  Targeting specific economic stratums the Santa Bandit, with “a wink of his eye and a twist of his head” through political maneuvers imposes nothing but dread. Barack Obama issues a disingenuous holiday Christmas message to the nation that the Commander-in-Chief now claims the right to pilfer private property and describe it as giving.

Masquerading as Santa Claus all during the Presidential campaign, Barry Sotoero pledged to deliver a wish list. Crafty candidate Obama told the nation what it wanted to hear promising Christmas morning in America. Duped by Santa Bandit’s empty rhetoric, voters left the ballot booth on Election Day with “visions of sugar-plums dancing in their heads,” unaware that Obama, once in the White House, had alternate plans. Santa Bandit Barack premeditated delivering ill-gotten gains to folks deemed less fortunate from a sleigh filled to overflowing with goods stolen from those who merely anticipated a future filled with Presidential hope and change.

Obama’s socialist intent has always been to shimmy down America’s corporate chimney and initially a majority welcomed the visit. However just a few months after the election more and more Americans clearly began to recognize an imposter was hiding under the fake Santa beard. What Obama fails to realize is that Americans can spot Marxists from miles away, especially when draped in red.

Substituting “ho-ho-ho” with “hands-up,” Obama spent the past year scarfing down chocolate chip cookies and glugging down every drop of hot cocoa leaving not one stray crumb behind for America’s children or even generations of children yet unborn. As trusting tax-payers lay all snug in bed, instead of checking off the electorate’s Christmas list, fake Santa Barack spent the past year attempting to stuff personal property, freedom and independence into oversized legislative duffel bags in hopes of dragging the plunder to a government equivalent of the North Pole.

So, “Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus.” However, the only surprise in the empty stocking hanging on the mantle this Christmas morning is the harsh realization that Barack Obama is nothing more than a charlatan.  The President of the United States is a counterfeit Santa, sticking-up the nation like a bank under siege in Chadds Ford Township, Pennsylvania, dressed up and hiding behind a cheap, grey beard.

Cross posted at www.jeannie-ology.com

Oftentimes, in order to survive, victims identify and form bonds with individuals or groups who have the power to hold captive futures or well-being.  The physiological definition for the phenomenon is called, Stockholm syndrome.  Stockholm syndrome develops when a victim endeavors to stay alive by “obsessively identifying” with a captor, resulting in a “warped personal psyche” as evidenced through the injured parties “sympathy for the tormenter.”

Stockholm syndrome is identifiable in hostage victims like Joe Lieberman.  Senator Lieberman forged a reputation as a protector of freedom by persistently threatening to vote against Obama’s health care bill.  However, since taken hostage by the Democratic Party, Joe emerges from intense wooing sessions with Obama; muttering statements like, “Put me down as encouraged at the direction in which these discussions are going.”

Lieberman’s extended Oval Office conferences have magically transformed the Independent’s reliably sensible opinion to uncharacteristic compliance with insanity. Barry DeFreeze Soetoro evidently convinced Lieberman that ‘staying alive’ politically takes precedence over maintaining a reputation as a nonconformist.  In response, like any self-respecting victim of Stockholm syndrome, Lieberman has broken ranks with self-identity, adopted the likes and dislikes of the Democratic Party’s position on health care reform, and manifested a politically ‘warped psyche’.

Based on sudden support for a bill the Senator vowed to filibuster with the GOP, Lieberman appears to be suffering from a severe case of Patty Hearst-style Stockholm syndrome. Classic Stockholm syndrome occurs when those held hostage display empathy for and even allegiance to detainers after “…being held captive for brief but intense periods [emphasis mine].” Fresh from closeted meetings with Obama, Lieberman told reporters if Medicare expansion and a government insurance plan are stricken from the legislation, “I’m going to be in a position where I can say what I’ve wanted to say all along: that I’m ready to vote for health care reform.”

Lieberman’s change in demeanor from one day to the next stirs up vivid memories of kidnap victim Patty Hearst held captive in a closet one minute and donning a beret, a jumpsuit, and a lightweight semi-automatic the next. Joe Lieberman’s odd behavior puts him in solid contention to replace Patty Hearst as poster child for Stockholm syndrome.

The Hearst heiress’s brush with notoriety came in 1974 when kidnapped from a Berkeley, California apartment by a militant left-wing guerilla group called the Symbionese Liberation Army. The name ‘symbionese’ has roots in the word symbiosis, which is defined as, “…a body of dissimilar bodies and organisms living in deep and loving harmony.” The group accomplished the harmonious goal of socialist utopian ideals through hostage taking and murder?

By forcibly denying freedom to some, the Symbionese advanced ‘liberation’ to others.   Marxist/Leninist ‘Che’Guevara’s believed that “… the true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love.” Thus, love, coercion and abduction are not contradictory concepts to socialists wresting property by force if violence is followed by ‘lovingly’ bestowing ill-gotten gains on the less fortunate.

Obvious similarities exist between 1970’s urban guerilla group tactics and the Socialist Liberal Army residing in the seat of power in Washington DC today. SLA techniques differ little from current legislative policy initiatives attempting to impose liberal concepts of fairness on the American public through exercise of oppressive political power.

Presently, the Capitol Hill SLA is mobilizing to redistribute wealth by couching Marxist policy in health care reform.    A liberal contingency of left-wing politicians hold a nation, largely opposed to the bill captive in order to further social justice by “leveling the playing field” through control and destruction of the present health care system.

Held hostage in a closet, a blindfolded Patty Hearst was “brainwashed” and abused.  The heiress’s captors knew that breaking Patty’s psyche was imperative to achieving symbolic and reparative redistribution. In like manner, left-wing politicians attempt to persuade America to sign onto bad policy, while simultaneously strong-arming political opposition like Joe Lieberman, Blanche Lincoln, Ben Nelson and Mary Landrieu.  Politicians use pork as ransom to pressure non-compliant moderates to join in national thievery reluctant captives would normally take a pass on.

In 1974, the SLA realized that without kidnapping Patty Hearst they lacked leverage to force a publishing mogul to relinquish millions of dollars to feed the hungry or to demand SLA murderers be released from jail. Likewise, Obama is cognizant that health care reform has zero chance of passing if Joe Lieberman’s independent spirit goes unaddressed.  Without Lieberman’s vote, socialists cannot free prisoners of poverty, reallocate prosperity, punish the rich and control 1/6^th of the nation’s economy.  Hijacking the Connecticut Senator and isolating him from outside influence may be the only hope the Democratic bill has to survive.

Between February and April of 1974 an interesting phenomenon took place in the Hearst kidnap case.  In a few short months a child of privilege changed her name from Patty Campbell Hearst toTania, relinquished her individualism and identified with those who unlawfully imprisoned her.  An heiress was successfully recruited to the urban revolution becoming a recognizable symbol of militant socialism’s ability to subjugate “The Man.”

Like Patty Hearst, sauntering around on surveillance camera in Hibernia Bank, Joe Lieberman falsely perceives he possesses personal clout to convince Democrats to alter a horrendous bill.  Truth is much like Hearst symbolized the ability to exploit duress to steer a social policy debate, Joe Lieberman is merely the left’s tool. Lieberman controls nothing; but rather under the auspices of negotiation and false capitulation is an object of manipulation by relentless socialist liberals in Washington DC.

Reid, Pelosi and Obama’s full intent is to dictate social policy and finance a massive power grab with stolen money.  Passing health care reform is just an entrée to future expansion where implementing universal health care can be fully realized. Without Joe Lieberman’s vote the hope to one-day implement a single payer system dies.

To date Stockholm syndrome victim Joe Lieberman hasn’t officially entered a bank with a M1 Carbine in tow, although the Connecticut Senator is presently crammed in a get away car between Nancy ‘Mizmoon’ Pelosi, ‘Willie Wolf ‘Reid and Field Marshal Cinque Sotoero en route to the job

Joe Lieberman has been targeted by an activist band of political guerillas wearing dark blue suits and red power ties.  The goal is to transform the Senator from moderate opposition to measured compliance. Lieberman is finding out that just like urban warriors, Washington DC policy guerillas are determined, devoted and militant.  Socialist Liberal Armies (SLA) 4-star General Joe Bideneven admitted, “…lawmakers shouldn’t underestimate Obama’s commitment to the issue.”

So, the next Presidential ‘secret’ meeting Lieberman emerges from announcing support for a flawed bill, don’t be fooled America, it is not a true conversion the nation is witnessing, but a new fangled ‘Tania’ joining a health care heist as victim of senatorial Stockholm syndrome.

Cross Post: www.jeannie-ology.com

Nevada is on fire with opportunity.  Prostitution has been legal in rural Nevada since the early seventies and now owner of the Shady Lady Ranch, Bobbi Davis hopes to hire Nevada’s first legal male prostitutes.  The female owner of the brothel claims now that Nevada state health officials have approved a method to test men for infectious diseases, male prostitutes could be hired within the month.

Politics and prostitution are similar, just ask Ben Nelson of (D-Neb) who believes “Change is never easy, but change is what’s necessary in America.” If Bobbi Davis manages to usher in change by making a dent in the male prostitution market, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid can direct the Nevadan Madame toward a large pool of accessible applicants.  In fact, Reid may even be able to recommend specific gentlemen experienced in the field that, as a result of an impending election, may be available for work.

Attempting to pass health care reform has brought morally unrestrained political libertines out of the woodwork en masse in Washington DC. While, politicians do not typically engage in ‘sex’ acts for money per se, accepting capital to agree to do things one would normally morally oppose can only be defined as prostitution. Thus, prostitution runs rampant on Capitol Hill because money has become the primary incentive for garnering votes.

Unfortunately for America, unbridled prostitution taking place on Capitol Hill and senators voting for health care reform presents a greater menace to national well being than HIV to streetwalkers.

Take for example, Ben Nelson of Nebraska who proudly identifies himself as one of four pro-life Democrats in the Senate.  Nelson held the moneybag for months threatening obstruction of health care reform based on the bill’s legislative language on the key issue of federal funding for abortion.  Nelson’s staunch stand against subsidizing abortion with tax dollars situated the Senator in the unique position to be offered and accept 30 pieces of silver in the form of federal aid for Nebraska. According to Senator John McCain, R-Arizona, “Nelson’s victory came at the expense of 49 states.” In other words, Nelson’s payoff betrayed American taxpayers and turned the nation over to be crucified.

Ben Nelson’s priority concerning the slaughtering of the unborn vanished when Nebraska secured permanent exemption from funding federal Medicaid expansion.  When presented with the choice to either obstruct abortion funding, or host a second Nebraskan Black Hills Gold Rush in the form of $45 million to state coffers– for Ben Nelson, a flush state treasury trumped saving babies. “Nebraska’s Republican Sen. Mike Johanns said he was “stunned and incredibly disappointed,” and called the compromise’s abortion language a “watered-down accounting gimmick that leads to Nebraska taxpayers subsidizing abortions in other states.”

Ben Nelson’s ‘cornhusker kickback/Nebraska windfall” makes the Senator a potential member of Bobbi’s staff at the sex ranch.  If the Madame is looking for male prostitutes Nelson  ‘kissing Jesus’ and then selling himself for a price makes the Senator a prime contender to secure one of the two plum positions for men at the brothel after the first of the year.

Davis said, “she wants to add two men to the three women she currently has living” at the bordello.  Who better to help the Madame identify candidates for the job than Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid who, like Bonni Davis, can recognize a penny-candy hustler a mile away?

Like a pimp, Monsieur Senator Reid employs, “psychological intimidation, manipulation and force” to coerce resistant Senators into signing onto the health care reform.  Harry Reid has successfully overseen a federal escort service where Senators receive sordid gain providing services, in the form of votes, to liberal political Johns on Capitol Hill whose intent is to ravage the nation’s freedom, security and economic stability.

Luckily for Bonni Davis, Reid has more than a few candidates who meet the cathouse criteria for employment. Wooly Mammoth Ben Nelson would be attractive to a small, but specific group of clientele, while the Bernie Sanders type might be alluring to those who typically prefer Ben and Jerry to Ben Nelson. The Senator from Nebraska providing a more conservative addition to Davis’ stable of male workers than the liberal Bernie Sanders, I-Vermont who proudly professes, “Yeah, I wouldn’t deny it. Not for one second. I’m a democratic socialist.”

Senator Bernie Sanders supports a single-payer system and a Medicare buy-in provision. Contrary, to Ben Nelson’s complaint, the Vermont Senator considers the legislation too conservative, or not liberal enough. Sanders said, “I’m struggling with this…as of this point, I’m not voting for the bill… my vote is not secure at this point.”

Mandatory requirements for liberal support have always been Medicare expansion and the public option. Harry Reid slashed both, while working the senate strip-attracting centrist votes from moderate senators like Louisianan fille de joie, Landrieu and the rent-boy from the Nutmeg State, Joe Lieberman. Bernie Sanders being “undecided” about the health care vote did not present a predicament for Monsieur Reid who is adept at initiating hesitant values virgins into prostituting principles with piggy payoffs.

Harry Reid wooed Democrat holdout, Bernie Sanders, by flashing a gold tooth and a fat money clip.  The Senate Majority Leader ushered a “…clearly more enthusiastic” Sanders toward a ‘sweetheart deal’ in the form of “$10 billion in new funding for community health centers.” Bernie Sanders, who vehemently opposed the bill a day prior, was gently initiated into a 60-vote quorum.  A tossle-headed Bernie emerged from negotiations breathless and disheveled unabashedly transitioning from a cabin of personal conviction in Vermont into Harry’s Washington DC house of joy.

Proprietor of the Shady Lady Ranch, Bonnie Davis, remains hopeful that men can start working at her brothel at the beginning of the New Year. Ms. Davis contends, the state of Nevada, like the Democrat run Senate has, “…worked hard for years to make the traditional brothel business…socially acceptable and something we can be proud of.”

Currently, Davis has five bedrooms to fill with male and female strumpets. $100 million dollar courtesan Mary Landrieu was recommended by Reid last month for one of the openings and is currently in the process of negotiating salary and seriously considering, if need be, accepting an offer to shift from a Senate seat into a niche in the iniquitous desert den. Clearly, bawdy harlots like Ben Nelson and Bernie Sanders would gladly join Mary and submit to selling services to anyone willing to pay the price.

Right now, Madame Bonnie Davis is in a unique position of being the recipient of Nevada State Senator Harry Reid, overseer of a senatorial House of Ill Repute providing his state’s Brothel Owners Association with two highly experienced male gigolos Ben Nelson and Bernie Sanders. Davis, anxious to bring both guys onboard, has just one last quandary to surmount regarding, “…how to structure the men’s pricing?” Bonni can count on Reid to help out in that area too, because if anybody knows how much to pay male prostitutes, Harry sure does.

www.jeannie-ology.com