Sarah Palin on SNL
What She Should Do.
Producers of SNL are apparently dying to get Gov. Sarah Palin on the show before the election. Palin has expressed interest in doing this. I believe she’ll make an appearence, and here is what the skit should be.
ANNOUNCER: And now, Weekend Update Special Correspondent Tina Fey with Gov. Sarah Palin.
CAMERA REVEALS SARAH PALIN DRESSED UP AS TINA FEY
PALIN-AS-FEY: Good evening. I’m Tina Fey, here with an exclusive interview with the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee, Gov. Sarah Palin. Gov. Palin, welcome.
FEY-AS-PALIN: Oh sure, Tina. You know.
PALIN-AS-FEY: Let’s begin the interview.
SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS GO DIM, WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE STYLE AND A GRAPHIC SHOWS UP ON THE TV WITH AN ANNOUNCER
ANNOUNCER: It’s “Gotcha! with Tina Fey” This evening’s contestant: Gov. Sarah Palin.
LIGHT SINK DOWN ON FEY AS PALIN “WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE STYLE.”
PALIN-AS-FEY: Governor, can you explain the Bush doctrine?
FEY-AS-PALIN: In what respect Tina?
PALIN-AS-FEY LOOKS DISTRAUGHT AND IRRITATED.
PALIN-AS-FEY: Is it A) Neo-isolationism B) Ultimatum offering C)Pre-Emptive War or D) Spreading Democracy?
PALIN-AS-FEY: Don’t stress out, they’re all correct! Let’s go with C though, what are your thoughts on pre-emptive war?
FEY-AS-PALIN: I think that we have go to do whatever it takes to give those Iraqis that freedom that is, I believe, in everyman’s heart and we’ve got to provide those soldiers cover also, you know to give them relief from The Taliban and Osama Bin Laden and yeah…
PALIN-AS-FEY STARES DOWN FEY-AS-PALIN WITH HER GLASSES ON HER NOSE.
PALIN-AS-FEY: Gov. Palin, What newspapers do you read?
FEY-AS-PALIN: Oh you know, all of them.
PALIN-AS-FEY: You can’t even name one?
FEY-AS-PALIN: I have great respect for the media…
PALIN-AS-FEY: Do you even have newspapers in Alaska?
FEY-AS-PALIN: Uh well I read that one newspaper over there on the East Coast you know that New York one with my breakfast also.
PALIN-AS-FEY: And what did you have for breakfast, Gov. Palin?
FEY-AS-PALIN: I uh… I think I had eggs.
PALIN-AS-FEY nods her head in contempt in the camera like she has done something good.
FEY-AS-PALIN: You know, Tina, I don’t really appreciate all of these gotcha questions, you know. Don’t you think we eat breakfast in Alaska as well.
PALIN-AS-FEY: Don’t you think the American people deserve to know what their potential Vice-President and even President eats for breakfast.
FEY-AS-PALIN: (LOOKS STUNNED.) Well, I uh…
PALIN-AS-FEY: Gov. Palin, what color are my toenails.
FEY-AS-PALIN LOOKS DOWN.
PALIN-AS-FEY: No, no. You can’t cheat!
FEY-AS-PALIN: But how am I supposed to…
PALIN-AS-FEY (Irritated): You can’t answer the question?
FEY-AS-PALIN: Well you know, I’m not fimilair with the toenail polish you’re using, you know.
PALIN-AS-FEY: Gov. Palin, what stage is the moon in right now?
PALIN-AS-FEY: Is it a full moon, half moon, full cresent half cresent, and you can’t peak out the window!
FEY-AS-PALIN: I’ll just have to get back to ya on that one!
PALIN-AS-FEY: Gov. Palin, Can you tell me what the name of President Bush’s dog is.
FEY-AS-PALIN: Oh, I know that one! It’s Barney! Like the dinosaur!
THE LIGHTS FLASH AND CONFETTI FALLS DOWN. PALIN-AS-FEY DOES NOT LOOK PLEASED, SHE HOLDS UP A MICROPHONE.
PALIN-AS-FEY: Congratulations, Gov. Palin you’ve just won a reduced week of gothya reporting.
FEY AS PALIN LOOKS THRILLED.
PALIN-AS-FEY: Do you have anything you want to say?
FEY-AS-PALIN: Oh, Tina, I’m just so excited! Why don’t you say something?
PALIN-AS-FEY: I think I will: LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!