I have to take mild issue with some of the posts at this site that have criticized Senator Edward Kennedy on the day of his death. Some conservatives I have talked to about this troubling phenomenon have suggested that there’s simply nothing positive for them to say about Kennedy, but that’s just not true. I consulted with some fellow conservatives and we came up with a rather impressive list of charitable things that any conservative could say about Ted Kennedy, as a way to honor his memory. I hope that my fellow conservative bloggers can put aside their pettiness for this one day and follow suit.
- He was adamantly opposed to slavery.
- He was a tireless converter of oxygen into carbon dioxide.
- He knew how to make a sandwich.
- He never killed a man.
- He never spent any time in prison.
- He filled a much-needed void.
- He was always one of his State’s two most effective Senators.
- To offset his carbon footprint, he personally and regularly produced organic material that was suitable for use as plant fertilizer.
- He was a shining example of dental hygiene.
- He was an enduring supporter of the distilling industry.
- He often remembered to tip his bartenders and waitresses.
- The elevator buttons at the Senate office buildings will miss his loving jabs.
- He never shoplifted, committed insurance fraud, or rolled drunks.
- He regularly changed his socks.
- He was a consistent eyeglasses-wearer.
- He never gave substantial money to pro-Nazi organizations.
- He never used weapons of mass destruction in anger.
- It’s not said of him that he took more than one newspaper at a time from the box.
- He never threw a shoe at anyone in public.
- No one ever saw him beat a dog or a horse.
- There is no indication that he tortured mice.
- He was apparently one of the most diligent Democrats at paying his taxes.
- He refrained from taking his clothes off for money.
- He never accosted women he thought found him unattractive.
- You could count on him to give even the homeliest cocktail waitress a self-esteem boosting rear-slap.
- He rarely drank whiskey from the bottle in public.
- He was a firm believer in yachting.
- He was adamantly opposed to the genocide and/or displacement of non-Protestants.
See there? That wasn’t so hard at all. Please feel free to drop your own favorite complimentary thought concerning Senator Kennedy into this thread. POSITIVE COMMENTS ONLY, PLEASE. If you can’t think of anything at least as positive as the above, maintain a respectful silence.
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James Richardson
He never found....
kowalski Wednesday, August 26th at 4:04PM EDT (link)He never found a spending bill he couldn’t expand.
He never mistook his position at the podium for anyone who was less important.
He always treated his home state as though it was his personal domain and loved it as such.
It took brain cancer to kill him when everyone on Earth thought it would be cirrhosis or another Oliver Stone story.
He was proud to share that stage with Al Sharpton.
He understood the rules of our legislature so well that nobody could use it better against its own people than him.
He always, always had the most competent, capable and numerous staff surrounding him.
He truly embodied the term: “New England.”
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Set the example
reaganomics Wednesday, August 26th at 4:14PM EDT (link)He inspired Cash for Clunkers, by magnificently exposing a gas-guzzling, pollution-spewing 1967 Olds to destruction in the saltwater.
He never used dirty political tactics
blooch Wednesday, August 26th at 4:21PM EDT (link)to win a Presidential Election.
“The government has absolutely no right to keep *peaceful* individuals out of the U.S.”–mtnrunner2
He never dropped his name..
Beasley Beesmeal Thursday, August 27th at 12:52AM EDT (link)to cut in line at Dunkin Donuts
He never dropped trou
blooch Thursday, August 27th at 8:21AM EDT (link)to get in Studio 54.
“The government has absolutely no right to keep *peaceful* individuals out of the U.S.”–mtnrunner2
Forgot one.
Leon H. Wolf Wednesday, August 26th at 4:22PM EDT (link)As a philosophical matter, he was admirably opposed to the killing of ex utero humans.
————
They’re *illusions*, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money. Or candy!
I can't believe you missed this one
izoneguy Wednesday, August 26th at 4:47PM EDT (link)Ted Kennedy was a hell of a swimmer - even when he was drunk.
“When the government fears the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny.”
Thomas Jefferson
Have you heard any new jokes about Chappaquiddick?
izoneguy Friday, August 28th at 9:52AM EDT (link)“When the government fears the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny.”
Thomas Jefferson
Saturday Night Live recollection
Lammo Wednesday, August 26th at 6:42PM EDT (link)Weekend Update, photo of the senator on a boat with a female companion yiielded the comment that it appeard the senator had changed his position on offshore drilling!
ACORN: Association of Criminals Obama Represented in the Nineties. (jupitersuite)
Don’t be so open minded that your brains fall out. (Fr. John Corapi, SOLT)
Crime never takes a holiday. (Dennis J. O’Shea, R.I.P.)
Unlawful is against the law. Illegal is a sick bird. (Ooold joke)
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. (Groucho Marx)
The late Senator undoubtedly had the most resilient liver in history.... nt
olsmithie Wednesday, August 26th at 7:37PM EDT (link)I know a liberal that has an Alcoholic Beagle
Richard Mullins Wednesday, August 26th at 7:41PM EDT (link)so it might be a tossup between the two.
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I dunno, Keith Richards might live to 77
6eorge Jetson Friday, August 28th at 9:34AM EDT (link)But for now Ted has the record for lifetime liver abuse for a 77 year old.
Click to see enlarged image
What would Reagan say........
jonreagan Wednesday, August 26th at 11:33PM EDT (link)to a diary like this?
I can assure you, he would be sickened. And knowing him as I did—let’s just say he wasn’t a shrinking violet—he’d probably say so.
Ronald Reagan was so firm in his convictions, and so comfortable in his own skin, that he never had to resort to the kind of ugliness shown in this diary. Quite frankly, he didn’t know how to; it wasn’t a part of his DNA. He was never mean, and he was never petty…..but he had a basic decency and kindness, which was a big part of how he won people over. Try reading a few Reagan biographies, and maybe you’ll start to get it.
*yawn* -nt
Leon H. Wolf Wednesday, August 26th at 11:45PM EDT (link)————
They’re *illusions*, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money. Or candy!
this diary -nt
DONTREADONME Thursday, August 27th at 12:24AM EDT (link)could end up being troll bait, lets wait and see how many come out of the woodwork for this one. Reading that title and then getting to the meat and potatoes is going to have some people just livid, and sometimes that is joy to witness.
LOL, DTOM have you ever been spear fishing?
nessa Thursday, August 27th at 1:00AM EDT (link)You drag a fish house out onto the ice, drill a 3 ft x 3 ft hole, fire up the heater, drop some bait into the water and wait, spear in hand. Hopefully a nice fat Northern Pike will come sneaking in to hit it.
Thats the mental image I got from your post, you waiting, spear in hand for some poor unsuspecting troll to rise to the Kennedy post bait. Too Funny!! Remember, once you get the spear in ‘em, hold ‘em down against the bottom till they stop wriggling!
Oh, don’t forget the Chappaquiddick Triathlon: Drink, Drive, Swim.
“If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
Carthago Delenda Est leave no stone standing upon another, plow the streets and salt the earth so that nothing grows there again. –Cato (originally, EPU of late)
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Lol, Ah but alas, I have no spear, I am only get to throw peanut shells-nt
DONTREADONME Thursday, August 27th at 1:08AM EDT (link)Man I try to adhere to the 24 hour rule
Richard Mullins Wednesday, August 26th at 11:51PM EDT (link)of not posting bad stuff on dead people(even though is a lot I want to say). Reagan was a classy guy but Teddy never was.
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let me see, would I be eulogize Castro or Chavez?
DONTREADONME Thursday, August 27th at 12:09AM EDT (link)then don’t expect people to sit around and praise someone like Ted Kennedy. Anyway, that list was true and hilarious.
BTW, we did not know Ted personnally; however, the only thing he did for me was vote for garbage legislation that affects me. That is why I have no love for the man. Next time why don”t you drop by with the “What would Jesus Do? over the What would Reagen do?, I think Jesus has a little more standing. Damn I hate moral equivocation.
We don't eulogize them we just
Richard Mullins Thursday, August 27th at 12:13AM EDT (link)don’t talk ill of them for a while. I say that it’s 24 hours but others might think differently.
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come on, your joking right?
DONTREADONME Thursday, August 27th at 12:19AM EDT (link)I think you missed my point, I especially will not be parsing words in celebrating the death of those two, and same goes for Kennedy, the only difference is my invective is much more subdued with the swimmer. Yeah, I am missing that overwhelming sense of respect for the man. BTW, I think you’re the only one holding back on the 24 hour rule. The only reason why the media covered Reagan was because they had too, trust me lets see what happens when either Bush passes.
Mr Kennedy has no real respect with me
Richard Mullins Thursday, August 27th at 12:29AM EDT (link)and I give 24 hours before I really let him have it(not here of course). I understood it perfectly, but after having many deaths in my family(especially when I had 2 in the same week), I give him a little time(not a comment on it). I really hope you know were I’m coming from on that. I’m really sure when HW Bush dies(he’ll be the first), liberal fanatics will be at his home in River Oaks and were every his funeral is.
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C'est la vie...
DONTREADONME Thursday, August 27th at 12:36AM EDT (link)I understand where your coming from. No worries, I was just thinking of Castro and Chavez when I made the reply. I will be the first to admit, that I am not very good with empathy and sympathy. BTW, I do hope the good people around him get over his passing swiftly and with as little pain as possible. Other than that, the title covers it for the deceased. You know, hardened heart and all, I am working on that.
When the Castro brothers are dead
Richard Mullins Thursday, August 27th at 12:42AM EDT (link)I’ll be partying in the streets. Same with Hugo Chavez. I’m ready for a rip and tear of Teddy tomorrow(I need my sleep otherwise I’d do it tonight).
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Normally there are hymns to be sung at a funeral
Richard Mullins Thursday, August 27th at 1:27AM EDT (link)of course what is appropriate outside of “Jesus is coming soon”? I don’t there is anything their to be used.
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How 'bout a couple irish drinking songs? nt
nessa Thursday, August 27th at 1:58AM EDT (link)“If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
Carthago Delenda Est leave no stone standing upon another, plow the streets and salt the earth so that nothing grows there again. –Cato (originally, EPU of late)
Contributor to The Minority Report
I have the song for his funeral
Richard Mullins Thursday, August 27th at 2:08AM EDT (link)but copyright laws prevent use there. The song I think of of is “Alcohol” by Brad Paisley. Every appropriate for this.
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LOL, good one Richard!
nessa Thursday, August 27th at 2:19AM EDT (link)If you want to go country i was leaning a little more toward “How am I doin’?” by dirks Bentley. Is that too far? A little too much “glad you’re gone” maybe?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tdt_WbvwitE
“If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
Carthago Delenda Est leave no stone standing upon another, plow the streets and salt the earth so that nothing grows there again. –Cato (originally, EPU of late)
Contributor to The Minority Report
He never had a brother who lived in a hut
TNJim Thursday, August 27th at 1:01AM EDT (link)so therefore didn’t have to look the other way when it came to national attention.
Unless you want to take Chris Matthews seriously…
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“No. You can’t” -Moe Lane
“He’s such a charming liar” Air America host Christiane Brown referring to Barack Obama
In Ted Kennedy's America
Socrates Thursday, August 27th at 3:12PM EDT (link)everone has access to quality, affordable health care, assuming they’re not too stuck underwater.
–
Gone 2500 years, still not PC.
In this same Kennedy RIP vein
diakrioi Thursday, August 27th at 4:36PM EDT (link)http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/nrice/2009/08/27/yesterday-the-world-lost-a-great-man/
Now wasn’t that fun?
RIP Ted.
americanmale Thursday, August 27th at 5:33PM EDT (link)I’m glad in Ted Kennedy’s world, he vigorously protected all those lives of unborn babies headed for abortion from the cruelties of a back ally abortion.
Sincerely,
Robert Bork.
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The good done by Sen. Kennedy
cwilson Friday, August 28th at 3:01AM EDT (link)He was one of the prime architects behind deregulation of the airline and trucking industry, leading to lower prices for travel and for anything transported.
So there was that.
Oh…and he was a one heck of a swimmer.
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom — go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! –Samuel Adams
Was avid proponent of estate redistribution
Scott Mustian Friday, August 28th at 8:24AM EDT (link)Considering his consistent opposition to reduction and elimination of the estate tax, we must assume that he has made arrangements for the full value of the Kennedy fortune to be sent to US Treasury at the rates in place prior to the GW Bush tax cuts. Surely he would not be so hypocritical as to avoid paying his fair share.
Scott Mustian
Isn't it all tied up in trust funds??? nt
Steph C Friday, August 28th at 8:26AM EDT (link)“[I]f the public are bound to yield obedience to laws to which they cannot give their approbation, they are slaves to those who make such laws and enforce them.” –Candidus in the Boston Gazette, 1772
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He never returned back at the river bank to save Mary Jo.
Rod_Patrick Friday, August 28th at 12:54PM EDT (link)Sorry, that’s the only thing I could remember from Uncle Ted.
Oops. I forgot three more items.
He had the best health care and cancer treatment that are only available from American private service providers.
He never tried Romneycare. It would shorten his lifetime on earth.
Definitely, Obamacare would kill him.
Like I said Obama may as well be giving a eulogy
jeannieology Saturday, August 29th at 8:51AM EDT (link)for OJ
There is an apocryphal story that...
kyle8 Saturday, August 29th at 8:56AM EDT (link)Fritz Hollings was once shown a photo of Teddy cavorting with a nubile young thing on his yacht and said, “I see the Senator has changed his opposition to offshore drilling”
Don’t know if its true, but if so it is one of the best one liners in history.
“Nothing works like freedom, Nothing succeeds like liberty”
Kyle
Mr. Kennedy
Socrates Saturday, August 29th at 9:04AM EDT (link)… never misused the presidency by amusing himself with an intern in the Oval Office.
–
Gone 2500 years, still not PC.
disgrace
blackdays Saturday, August 29th at 11:49AM EDT (link)he was a traitor, really, a real and actual traitor, and his remains need to be removed from Arlington….
http://www.forbes.com/2009/08/27/ted-kennedy-soviet-union-ronald-reagan-opinions-columnists-peter-robinson.html
“….government does not solve problems, it only subsidizes them.” Ronald Reagan
You fail
Neil Stevens Saturday, August 29th at 2:45PM EDT (link)Did you even read the thread?
Want to run for conservatives? Give.
There Is No Crisis
I’d rather everyone get along, but I’ll settle for everyone united in hating me for being a jerky moderator.
You forgot one...
jeannieology Saturday, August 29th at 12:11PM EDT (link)He went to church and prayed for children who made it out of the womb no thanks to him….
http://www.jeannie-ology.com
Oh yeah one more...
jeannieology Saturday, August 29th at 12:13PM EDT (link)He was an avid proponent of the waitress sandwich…
http://www.jeannie-ology.com