My wife just received a complimentary issue of Prevention Magazine. It’s a hodge-podge of health and beauty tips. It’s also a window into a Christmas-future where the USA morphs into the USSA, courtesy of Obama’s power grabs.

So then, what could possibly be contained in such an easy-reading, built for the masses kind of publication that would lead me to such a seemingly wild conclusion? It’s a short article on the inside of the April 10th issue, which gives some tips on skin care and skin care products. My wife showed it to me, accompanied by an, “Oh brother, ya gotta see this!”

The article explains a beauty secret of the fabulous, beautiful, buff & toned Michelle Obama (Prevention Magazine seems to really like the first lady). Apparently, Lady Obama uses Clark’s Botanical Lifting Serum to combat the encroachment of crow’s feet near her eyes.  Prevention Magazine explains that this revolutionary product contains high concentrations of protective stem cells (extracted apparently from apples . . . who knew apples had stem cells too? But, then again, maybe “apples” is code word for pre-born children in Sweden.). That secret ingredient, according to Prevention Magazine, can reduce crow’s feet by 15% in only one month’s time!

Ah, but there’s a catch. Clark’s Botanical Lifting Serum costs $355.00 for one measly fluid ounce (sure hope a little goes a long way, or perhaps even better, a lotta goes a long way when the lotta is composed of a lotta loot!). But, don’t worry dear reader . . . for I and Prevention Magazine already know what you’re thinking (we leaders in government and media will do the thinking for you!). You’re wondering just how on earth can I afford to be like Lady Michelle (the new de facto healthy lifestyle czar of the USSA . . . hey fatso! That’s right! I’m talking to you!)? Well, don’t go worrying your pretty little serf head off, Prevention details an affordable substitute product, much more suitable for the egalitarian masses. Sure, the reduction in your unsightly crow’s feet may be far less than the 15% promised by Clark’s Botanical Lifting Serum, but as a consolation, you may cling to the satisfaction of knowing that more of your money will be redistributed from you to others who did not earn it, courtesy of health care reform.

Feeling better yet? No?! Well then, consider this:

Say you need a suppository because you can’t afford highfalutin roughage like arugula. You should then be honored to make such a purchase because the additional 2.3% tax you are paying on that product as a result of Obamacare will go toward helping the government help you and others less fortunate than you! And, don’t you dare have the audacity to grumble about paying more for a host of everyday medical products when Lady Michelle treats herself to Clark’s Botanical Lifting Serum at $355.00 per fluid ounce. Prevention Magazine wants to gently remind you that you are not a Lady or a Lord of Socialism. You are the masses who will eventually live in Obama’s USSA. Your role is to disentangle yourself from middle classicism and embrace . . . nay, love . . . redistribution of wealth (well, not every kind of wealth . . . just yours).

Lady Michelle Obama, on the other hand, is a Lady of Socialism. In the USSA . . . the hoped for Christmas-future of Obama & crew . . . we will not have royalty per se, but we will have elites who will enjoy wine, whilst you swill oily gin provided at government controlled prices. Prevention Magazine wants to help you embrace this brutal reality, learn to accept it, and maybe even come to love it (the latter is, in particular, Prevention Magazine’s job . . . fostering acceptance and fawning love of elites, like Lady Michelle).

The Ladies and Lords of Socialism are Ladies and Lords because, quite frankly, they’re smarter than you. Just sit back, let them make the decisions (all the decisions!), and don’t complain if they enjoy a small perk along the way, like Clark’s Botanical Lifting Serum at $355.00 per fluid ounce, arugula, flying in pizza from St. Louis, million dollar weekend junkets to NYC, or real expensive duds. These people deserve every possible perk. After all, they think hard for you and do your thinking for you!

Prevention Magazine is aptly named. They are marketing themselves as a preventative health magazine, but perhaps what they’re really trying to prevent is the grousing of the masses in a nation steaming toward socialism with Lord Obama at the helm, whilst Lady Michelle slathers on ounces and ounces of Clark’s Botanical Lifting Serum at $355.00 per fluid ounce and the people obediently cheer.