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FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

Did you know that Jews control the Washington Post? [Bumped.]

[Bumped, because Ace has updated with more jaw-dropping blame-the-Jews crazy from Sullivan. - Moe Lane] [And still more, including a guide for the perplexed*.]

No, really.  Just ask Andrew Sullivan (see also The Weekly Standard and Legal Insurrection).

This is the curse of every person who enjoys conspiracy theories (as opposed to believing in them). You’ll be going on, enjoying the creativity that results when people impose pattern-recognition on patternless situations; watching the steadily-more baroque reasoning used, Ptolemaic-like, to justify a marvelous theory; and grooving to the excellent nonsense, and then – WHAMM! The person you’re reading brings up the Jews. And then you realize that the author has reached the tertiary stage of conspiracy thinking**, and is now useless to you as an intellectual diversion.

It doesn’t always happen, thank God, but it happens too often.

Moe Lane

[*See what I did there, Andrew? I made a reference to something Jewish. That's because I'm a neocon, and thus obligated to honor my Zionist masters. I'm pointing it out because... it's a fiendishly clever plot! But you know better; oh, yes, you can see right through all those tricksy and sly Jewish schemes.]

**The stages go like this:

  • Stage One: Well, that’s odd. A tentative foray into what may be in fact not conspiracy thinking, but merely heretical scholarship. Many respectable scholars flirt with this stage, and some seem to delight in flaunting their embrace of it; their more staid colleagues are usually indulgent.
  • Stage Two: Embracing the Crazy. This is full-bore crank territory, and is typically accompanied by more enthusiasm than rationality. Sufferers are usually disliked for it inside their field, but are often not particularly discriminated against outside of it.
  • Stage Three: It’s all because of the Jews. Irreversible. Incurable. At absolute best, rather sad.


Crossposted to Moe Lane.

COMMENTS

  • http://andrightlyso.com/ civil_truth

    “Mel Gibson was forced into retirement for saying one night while drunk what Andrew Sullivan writes every day while sober.”

    Nailed him!

  • leftylurker

    It’s the JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!

  • http://moelane.com/ Moe Lane

    I may not be *paid* for doing this, but I *have* been doing this for a while. :)

  • http://web.mac.com/mayo99/iWeb/Site/VladBlog/VladBlog.html Vladimir
  • leftylurker

    Well, you can’t fault my enthusiasm.

  • http://impudent.blognation.us/blog kyle8

    they first turn into an insane poof.

  • http://www.RedState.com/ETCartman Kenny Solomon

    First and foremost, I blame my people for Gefilte Fish.

    Never caught one. Never even seen one in the wild, in an aquarium, or on any of the weekend shows on the sports channels.

    Second, I blame every Jewish Aunt and Grandmother who ever existed for starting the trend of calling their little ones “bubbies”. They had and still have no idea how deathly embarrassing that is – 23 years old and your Aunt calls you “bubbie” in front of your girlfriend.

    I can go on and on and on…….. but………… :)

    /snark

  • DONTREADONME

    come on just a little drive by editing. :)

  • mbecker908

    It’s your spelling that’s hurting you. Vlad is right. Eleven “o”‘s, no more, no less. What you’ve done would be tantamount to one of us referring to you as leftyluuuuurker.

  • gekster
  • http://www.RedState.com/ETCartman Kenny Solomon

    You can also use “Teh Juice”……. You have my permission as I am one of Teh Juice.

    ;)

    Cheers !

  • http://impudent.blognation.us/blog kyle8

    As a good neocon I have been kissing semitic butt for years now. When can I get a piece of that big Joo money?

    I even have a Jewish sounding name and I’m circumcised!

  • http://moelane.com/ Moe Lane

    In fact, there’s a whole list of right-wing conspiracies out there that have unaccountably decided not to pay me off.

    This is why they invented labor unions, you know. *Real* ones, not the useless imitation ones that you get now.

  • cirby

    Once you hit a certain level of conspiracy philosophy, there’s a possibility to move to the next (and hopefully final) one:

    That’s when you realize that there ARE conspiracies, among pretty much any group you can name. Lots and lots of them. People DO get together and plan grand strategies, figuring out ways to get advantages over the everyday schmo.

    The thing is… they can’t get anything done. Useful conspiracies (especially the large-scale, Grand Plot sorts) tend to have only three or four members, at most, and that’s just not enough people to get Big Schemes implemented. They have to let other people in, and that’s when the new guys either give away the secret or screw up so badly the plot can’t work.

    Then you have to allow for the fact that for every group of schemers who want to (for example) fluoridate your eye drops so the mind control rays work better, there’s another, corresponding group who’s busily trying to get listening devices installed in your Wi-Fi router, which jams the mind control rays, but the fluoride screws up the listening devices. So they cancel each other out.

    See? Simple.

  • Dave_in_Fla

    I even married one and ended up paying for the bar mitzvahs. Where do I go for my neocon rebate?

  • http://moelane.com/ Moe Lane

    For those not familiar with classical literature, it’s a device from Douglas Adam’s Hitchhiker’s books. In that series, half the galaxy’s electronics engineers work on new ways to jam it, and the other half work on new ways to jam the jamming signals. :)

    IOW, point taken, but it’s more an alternative Stage 3.

  • Husker

    Obviously, Reverend Jeremiah Wright received his. Those Jooooooooooo’s wouldn’t let him see the president.

    The Zionist conspirators have their own super secret “Klein Klub” echo chamber to hash out their next plan for world domination. I believe they call it JewnoList.

    Note to self : Call broker, invest heavily in tin foil stocks.

    /sarc

  • http://moelane.com/ Moe Lane

    …is that they’re always so disapproving in tone. I mean, seriously: if there was a secret Jewish cabal running the USA, I would be forced to say that generally we’re doing quite well for ourselves out of the arrangement.

  • janis

    let Obama win the election? Because I can’t see a thing good for the Jewish cabal coming out of this one.

  • http://web.mac.com/mayo99/iWeb/Site/VladBlog/VladBlog.html Vladimir
  • penguin2

    IMO, the liberal Dem voting Jewish block of this country is culturally out of step with the real meaning and spirituality of Israel. Can they not see the writing on the wall?

  • Adjoran

    There was NEVER any reason to read Andrew Sullivan.

    For a time there, he was a hero to the Short Pants Brigade at NRO as a gay “libertarian” who was temporarily pro-War On Terror and pro-Iraq invasion. He was NEVER a real conservative, though, and the minute his limited attention shifted to “gay marriage,” he immediately ditched all his former positions if they were shared by those who opposed his new reason for living his dissolute life.