Washington, DC has been pretty much turned off and unplugged, thanks to the snow. If you’re wondering why you’re reading this now (when we only got one inch), instead of tomorrow (when we’re scheduled to get one to two feet)… well, welcome to Dizzy City. Here’s your accordion.

As somebody noted on Twitter yesterday: DC mayor Muriel Bowser could expect to have an unpleasant press conference in her near future.  That proved… prescient: the Mayor had to explain why she did not get the roads salted ahead of time, why there were car crashes everywhere, why the humanity almost accidentally summoned Yog-Sothoth because the entire Beltway was a sea of red and yellow (and thus perilously close to reproducing a giant Aklo Sabaoth without a containment grid).  The usual, in other words.  Oh, and if all of this sounds vaguely familiar… we had something like this happen in January of 2015, too.  Funny thing about that, in fact: it turns out that apparently Mayor Bowser didn’t learn a single blessed thing from the experience. Go figure, huh?

Anyway: that’s why it’s a slow news day.  Everybody in politics and the media in DC is looking at the clock, looking at the road reports, and trying to figure out what last-minute emergency supplies they need to go get (I should go pick up more eggs, myself) before madness descends upon the supermarkets and fights break out over the last roll of toilet paper in the land.  It’s going to be downright hysterical if the storm goes out to sea and doesn’t drop the snow on our heads…

Moe Lane

PS: At some point, DC residents need to learn how to deal with snow and rain.  This isn’t the late Nineties, where drought conditions in Maryland made either more or less rare.  I’ve been living in this area since 2001, and in that time it’s steadily gotten rainier, and the winters have had a perfectly adequate amount of snow.  More snow, in fact, than what I had grown accustomed to from living in coastal New Jersey. There is no excuse for this kind of annual panic.  As God is my witness, I think that Beltway residents are pretty much indulging in unseemly DRAMA about the whole thing.

And do you know who the worst offenders are? The people who moved in from elsewhere.  Particularly the ones whose ‘elsewhere’ is a place where ‘foot of snow’ is not particularly newsworthy.

PPS: And no, it’s not enough to say “Well, at least Washington is shut down.”  That just enables this behavior. The last thing we want to do is to let them off the hook.