10. Candy Crowley kept sending him naked picture text messages.

9.He could never prove it but he thought that Sanchez fellow had a phony social security number.

8. Got a better offer from Dancing With The Stars.

7. He went to meet a guy about a birth certificate.

6. The Obama prayer meetings were starting to get creepy.

5. They wanted to replace him with a hologram.

4.Fox News offered him a secret bedroom.

3. That Anderson Cooper was a real tea bagger.

2.Somebody kept stealing his vitamin water from the break room fridge.

1. He’s going rogue.