The North Carolina Democratic Party State Chairman David Parker has encountered a passel of trouble. It seems his Executive Director-cum-Hatchet-Man Jay Parmley was caught homosexually harassing an employee and responded by firing the individual in question. He then attempted to conceal the sordid and predatory turn of events by bribing this individual into signing a non-disclosure form. The rank-and-file Democrats are disgusted and have become unseemly in their uppity misrule. They have decided that Parmley's resignation was inadequate to solving their party's problems and have demanded that Parker be fired.
Rather than letting his political career die with a quantum of dignity, Parmley wrote a resignation letter and thereby helped author a cornucopia of NC GOP campaign material for any enterprising conservatives who feel like cutting YouTube Adds on behalf of their side. Parmley uncorked the following comedic material* in his farewell, cruel world missive.
As you know last Friday, Tucker Carlson’s right-wing blog Daily Caller and Art Pope’s Civitas Institute began spreading a false and misleading story about a supposed incident of harassment at the NCDP. Let me be clear: I never harassed any employee….Even though I have done nothing wrong, it is clear to me that I need to move on.
I have spoken with David Parker several times today and told him that he had lost the confidence of Democratic leaders, and I asked him to step aside for the good of the Party. I told him that the Party had to get back to focusing on our core values: strengthening schools, creating jobs and expanding opportunities for all North Carolinians.
All of this was good. The bus was warmed up and full of diesel. David Parker just had to lie down and take it like man. Then a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. Parker refused to resign and started hitting back.…
“there was no cover-up and that the personnel matter was professionally and appropriately handled by the Party’s attorney using the highest ethical standards.”
In the proud tradition of the John Edwards Democrats, he proceeded to tell his critics to sit down, zip their soup-coolers and allow his continued dominance.
“there will be a meeting of the State Executive Committee in Raleigh on Sunday, June 17, 2012, the day after our State Convention, which I will Chair.”
And in the high-handed, baronial arrogance, of Cary Yuppie Scum to the manner born, he finished his soliloquy to his own spectacular solipsism. (I mean screw what that unimportant State Governor thinks, this MEMEMEMEME we’re talking about. And I don’t want to hear YOU talking.)
“At that SEC meeting we will, in addition to the conduct of regular business, hold elections for all Party office vacancies and hold a referendum on the State Party Chair, which I will not conduct. If there are multiple candidates for State Chair, we will have an election. If there is a single candidate, there will be an acclamation.”
I believe Mr. Parker has a valid point here. If he is in any way less moral, ethical or suitably humble than Barack Obama explain to me how. I don’t see how he deviates much from the example of his Governor who once decried the periodic occurrence of those nasty, impractical elections.
He represents to perfection to what The Democratic Party has truly become. His values are their values. His belief in his own infallibility and exception from all constraints of decency and moral conduct is the kernel of modern American Liberalism. He is the perfect American Democrat and I hope NC keeps him. David Parker is the ideal model for the rest of the nation as to what The Post-Modern Feudalism of The American Left would truly entail if it were ever fully empowered. Bless his little heart. His mother must be proud.
*The E_VIL Right Wing Bloggers in this case work for The Charlotte News and Observer which is solidly to the right of…Le Duc Tho, Saul Alinsky, Pol Pot…
** - Um, nope! Gov. Perdue got wind of the fact that the rest of the world got wind of the fact, that she had gotten wind of the fact many, many moons ago. “Norton, I’ve been watching you!”(Vintage Eddie Murphy).