As I pondered the horror of President Obama continuing his march of destruction through American principles and our economy, I struggle to understand how he can possibly continue despite the evidence that his agenda has been rejected by the American people. This is one possible (absurd) answer that I so wish were true.
Date: Sunday, November 7, 2010
Location: Camp David
Senator Mitch McConnell and Congressman John Boehner step off the Marine Helicopter at the Camp David landing pad and see President Barack Obama waiting to greet them. Both men were somewhat surprised to be summoned in secret to meet with the President alone without their Democrat counterparts but given the election results from the previous Tuesday anything is now possible. With Republicans winning an astonishing 270 seats in the House, Congress Boehner was two months away from becoming the next Speaker of the House. Even more astonishing with 52 Senate Republicans, Senator McConnell would soon be the Senate Majority Leader. Both could only assume the President was going to be grasping for some strategy to salvage his presidency.
President Obama was in surprisingly good spirits welcoming the men with a broad smile and warm greetings. He escorted them to a comfortable den with a roaring fire exchanging pleasantries about the upcoming holidays. President Obama opened up the conversation by talking about what an interesting election cycle. He asked, “What would you gentleman say if I told you that I am quite pleased with the election results?” Neither could even respond. “Would you be agree that I have done a good job of destroying the Democrat party?” Congressman Boehner could only smile and responded ” I assume you want us to keep that question to ourselves.” Obama’s response was ” only for the moment.”
At this point, President Obama asked that the men prepare themselves for an interesting story. “When this is done you will understand that my campaign promise to fundamentally transform America is one I intend to complete. However the transformation is quite a bit different than most people assumed. Most of the stories you have heard about my youth are true. I was raised by very leftist parents and grandparents and my formative years were immersed in the message of the radical left. By the time I attended college, I really had not seen any other message and of course my college experience only reinforced my belief that the US was fundamentally flawed and capitalism was the primary cause of the perceived injustices of American life.”
“In 1985 I arrived in Chicago with the optimism and conviction of a 24 year old man determined to right the wrongs of the world. I honestly did not have political ambitions at that moment but believed the righteousness of my beliefs meant I would be able to improve the lives of those I wanted to help. As a community organizer, I was in the heart of the left and in position to be introduced to the political machine in Chicago. Those first two years in Chicago were a shattering experience for me. My desires to improve the lives of inner city Chicago residents were not actually shared by the political leaders. Every initiative and effort was simply measured in the prism of enhanced political power and ability to enrich “insiders” in the system.”
Obama paused to allow comment from his visitors. Neither man could speak and almost had a look as if there were hidden cameras and they were on a prank show. Obama continued, “this experience gave me a crisis of confidence. I was not sure how to contrast the idealism of my upbringing and education with the reality of corruption I was facing. Of course this was happening during the administration of President Reagan which had produced an amazing economic turnaround. I never had heard one positive comment from anyone in my circles about Reagan. I found it curious that the only message within the liberal left was that Reagan and his followers were evil and must be destroyed without explaining why they were successful. It occurred to me that I had been agreeing that he and conservatives were evil and wrong without ever once studying or understanding why.”
“Given my disillusionment with experiences with the left, I decided I should at least prove the liberal agenda was superior.” For most of 1987, I privately began researching and studying the history of our country, our founding fathers and political and economic systems throughout history. The more I studied the more confused I became. Much of what I had been taught and fervently believed had no basis in fact. Over time I became angry at the delusions the left had been advocating. My entire life and belief system has been one big lie! I realized that the progressive movement had no desire to help people but an overriding belief that their superior intelligence demands they obtain and retain permanent power over the lives of others. Facts and results were immaterial to the objectives of power and control. Economic classes and ethnic groups were to be divided and demonized in order to secure control.”
“My limited time inside the Chicago machine had given me enough exposure to know this movement was vast, entrenched and relentless. Anyone attempting to moderate or deviate from progressive goals results in an assault and destruction of the individual. It was at this point I became committed to the complete destruction of the progressive movement and reestablish freedom and liberty as the cause of a lifetime. I knew this could only be accomplished from within. History has proven that progressive and statist policies are doomed to fail yet these people are relentless in their pursuit of power. The unfortunate reality is that the ultimate failure is either a painful collapse of a country and economy or a descent into a totalitarian state. Believe me, many on the left are so convinced their ideas are correct they would endorse a totalitarian state to eliminate any opposition. They know they will never gain popular majority support for their beliefs so deception and subterfuge becomes a second nature in the movement.”
“I dedicated my life to rising as high as I could in the movement … including reaching the office of the Presidency”. Soon to be former Senator Harry Reid was exactly right about the capability of a light skinned black man who could speak well having extraordinary opportunities. My entire trajectory from that moment was surprisingly easy as I just made sure to say the right things and make the right connections. The hardest part was living my life for more than 20 years as a complete lie. I could never deviate from progressive orthodoxy and it was painful to advocate positions and policies that I knew were destructive to liberty and prosperity. I have a few key allies in my advisers but most of he people that I have had to associate with have sickened me. Even my wife has no idea of my true beliefs, while I do love and respect Michelle her insider connections to the Chicago machine were essential to my objectives. When my new agenda is unveiled, I expect it is 50/50 you will see the first divorce of a President in office…. she might stay because the likes the perks of the White House.
I also had to participate in the cesspool of corruption that exists inside the entire Democrat/Union/Government machine. The American people are funding their own demise as billions are funneled to organizations dedicated to the demise of the American system. The corruption and graft tied to the “system” are just an accepted part of political life by this movement … they do not even question if this is wrong because they believe the cause is right.”
“I never anticipated being President this soon. I could not imagine the American people electing an extremely inexperienced Senator as their President. However, I also knew that sometimes opportunities do not come twice. Political and economic circumstances were aligning for a political wave in the country. The identity politics so ingrained inside the Progressive movement were convinced the time for a black man to be President was now. The support for me was so enthusiastic because the most ardent progressives felt I would never deviate from the agenda as President Clinton did. I was guaranteed the funds were be available for me and that economic events would be supportive of my victory. Did you ever wonder why we had an economic collapse two months before the election? I will tell you now that when I expose the events behind my election, I will be pardoning myself in advance. If impeachment is the net result, that is fine once our objectives are met. McCain was an easy target as he was a fellow progressive and would not point out the obvious flaws in our approach. Sarah Palin sent us into a momentary panic as we knew that she spoke the truth and if she could be heard we might be in trouble. Fortunately we were able to mobilize our allies in the press to destroy her personally before her message could resonate. I owe her a big apology and someday hope she replaces me in this office.”
President Obama smiled as he made the next statement. “I broke out laughing when Rahm Emmanuel stated that we should never let a good crisis go to waste. I knew that driving a stake in the heart of the Progressive movement was going to be easier than even I expected. All I needed to do is turn Pelosi and Reid lose to follow their inner desires. I made sure to appoint the heroes of the Progressive movement to as many positions as possible. Van Jones was a so over the top communist that I worried it would scare off some Democrats. Glenn Beck did a great job exposing him so I could cut him lose quickly without losing support from the loony left. My one concern was to not allow the security of the country to be at risk while this story unfolded. Keeping Secretary Gates in his role has kept the radicals from tinkering with defense too much. Eric Holder is an idiot but it was necessary to put someone like him in charge to expose the absurdity of his beliefs. Behind the scenes I have kept the Bush security measures in place while giving the left as much rope as needed to hang themselves publicly.
“My goal for these first two years was to expose how destructive and dangerous progressive policies are to the future of our country. Only when they have full reign to expose themselves they can be stopped. I have had to advocate some very destructive policies that I must reverse and mitigate as quickly as possible. I am glad only progressive judges retired from the Supreme Court … while my appointments are regrettable, the balance on the court remains unchanged. I regret that part of my legacy will be those two lunatics I appointed.
At this point President Obama paused for reaction. Senator McConnell was the first to speak. “Mr. President, unless you have a radically different plan for the future, I don’t believe this.” The President responded, ” I have a plan and let me tell you in advance that you and your caucus will be on board with this or I will destroy the Republican party as quickly as I did the Democrat party. Let me introduce a couple of people who will be supporting my plans. To their astonishment, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck walked into the room. Obama said, ” these two men have done more to educate America on the evils of the liberal and progressive movement than anyone and I intend to see that they do not let up on supporting the transformation we will embark upon.” They will help me run over the mainstream media until the leftists in those organizations retire or surrender.
Obama chuckled as he said ” I wish I could have seen Glenn Beck’s face when his red phone finally rang with me inviting him to Camp David.” Limbaugh laughed ” I have retracted my opinion that I hope President Obama fails, when you hear what he has planned, I intend to support his addition to Mouth Rushmore.” Obama smiled and said ” Limbaugh and I have a golf date scheduled near his home in Florida next month … that should have some heads exploding.”
President Obama sat forward and look at the two members of Congress. “Gentleman, starting in January 2011 we together are going to make history. We are going to transform the role and function of the Government back to the Principles established by our founder fathers. In the next two years, I intend to strip 100 years of progressive destruction from our federal government. We are going to remove the political calculations of our decision making and do what is right for the American people. We are going to restore the states role in governing themselves and remove the narcotic of federal spending they have been grown to accept. With $14 trillion of national debt we do not have much time. I intend to balance the federal budget in two years. I do not want to take a scalpel or hatchet to the Federal government, I want to use a chainsaw. Agriculture, Education, Commerce, Energy and many others are to be eliminated and consolidated. I expect to eliminate 30 to 50% of federal employees and federal unions are going to be eliminated. We can longer afford to pick winners and losers in our economy and the federal government is going to get out of the marketplace whether it be agricultural subsidies, green energy boondoggles or corporate subsidies disguised as spending. The bloat in our defense spending will be eliminated while preserving our strong ability to defend ourselves. The military budget will no longer be a jobs programs for unneeded bases or useless defense projects.”
“Needless to say I expect to sign a repeal of the Health Care bill in the first week of the new Congress followed by a market based health reform bill that returns consumer decision making to that market. Essentially every reform passed by the previous Congress should be repealed in January and the government ownership in the auto, housing, student loan markets and others are to be reversed.
“You will be getting a new three year budget from me … the third year will show a balanced balanced budget AND a 3% repayment on the national debt. I want us on a path to be a debt free country in 20 years. Reforming our tax system is going to be your first agenda item. We must fund the rightful responsibilities of the federal government but it is time to stop picking winners and losers with tax policy and punishing success and subsidizing failure. If we remove the ability for Congress to pass favors with taxes and spending, we remove the incentive for government growth. Senator McConnell, I am warning you now that if you try to revert to you old ways of talking conservative but supporting growth in government or protecting special interests, I will crush you. If you follow the lead of Senator Rand Paul you will do fine.” You can be assured that the soon to be announced retirements of Democrat Senators from States with new Republican Governors will give you a filibuster proof majority to work with … I literally know where the ‘bodies’ are buried so these Senators are going to be happy to fade into the sunset.
“The Bush tax cuts are to be immediately implemented for 2011. Within 60 days, I want a revised tax code passed to take effect January 1, 2012 based on either the fair tax or the flat tax. These are to be NO special interest exceptions for housing, farmers, agribusiness,… no one! The only progressive nature of either tax is to exempt the first $30,000 of family income from tax. Corporate income taxes, estate taxes and capital gains taxes are to be eliminated. I want to eliminate the ability of elected officials to hand out tax code favors to outstretched hands.”
“The net effect of removing the burden of tax policy from our economy is going to be tremendous economic growth … within five years the booming economic engine of the United States should make the pain of the last three years a distant memory. You will also notice that we will no longer spend more than 18% of GDP. My longer term goal is 15%. We have commitments made to the elderly with Social Security and Medicare and those will be honored. The enhanced tax revenue from our expanded economy will help us fund these but overall we have to be honest with the American people about what we can promise. We must transform our health and retirement programs to market based private systems that reduces our citizens reliance on government.”
“I intend to fire most of my cabinet members and staff. I will be bringing citizens from across the political spectrum and private sector into my government … all with the same commitment to reversing the stranglehold the left has on our government. For example, I have asked Mark Levine to accept the position of Attorney General … I am allowing him to keep his radio show which he has agreed to do without pay while in office. He has a better grasp of the insidious nature of the statists in our government and the proper constitutional role of our federal government. His primary charge is to expose, prosecute and eliminate the corruption that has become endemic to our system. Fifteen hours of a week of him detailing the lawlessness and corruption in the system should make his program destination listening. We will expose, prosecute and marginalize the entire leftist movement using our constitution and laws to to destroy them. No one will be exempt, including members of the Republican party but I may use the power of Presidential pardon for those who confess and work to expose the system fully.”
The dead weight that the EPA has placed on our economy will be lifted. I have asked Governor Palin to assume this cabinet post. Given her experience she understands what is important to protect our environment while maximizing the use of our God given resources to expand our economy. You will see many more surprise appointments such as this in the coming weeks.
“In either this Congress or the next, we are going to pass constitutional amendments that establish without ambiguity the original meaning of our constitution. The commerce and general welfare clauses will no longer be the open ended justification for ever expanding government and the tenth amendment is now going to be meaningful. Every law going forward must be based on constitutional power. I realize this will be contradicted by some establish laws and precedent but in due time we can bring all into balance.”
“The next two years … or six years if needed … of my term promises to be the most transformation event since the founding of our country. I hope I can count on you gentlemen to do your patriotic duty to see that we restore the greatness of the ‘shining city on the hill’ for future generations to enjoy. God bless us all in this effort.”
Neil Stevens
Steve Maley
Daniel Horowitz
Jake Walker