As I sat down on the couch to take a quick breather after an exhaustive morning of protecting my only child from rampaging, evil profiteering Tonsil Reapers (TM Thingie), I thought to myself that perhaps I should organize a march on Washington, DC. “No Tonsils, No Peace!”. Then, I realized that was stupid and decided instead to put my powers to work and come up with a common sense solution to President Obama’s delusional Health Care (term used loosely) plan.

You see, I’m pretty sure I’m magic. Not only have I escaped victimization at the hands of nefarious Doctors desperate to sink their clutches into my apparently rare and invaluable tonsils, but I have also managed to escape falling prey to their counterpart, the evil Mortgage Reaper. As such, I think I’m qualified to come up with a solution. Granted, I know I’m just a simple Mommy and don’t have the vast experience of Community Organizing from which to draw, but still.

Firstly, I propose some new slogans. In the interest of Patriotic Dissension as well as Transparency. Plus, that whole Bush Lied, People Died seemed to have worked out well for the Left. And if history has taught us nothing else, it has taught us that we must either learn to use Roman swords against Rome itself. Or die. Literally now, it seems.

Proposed:

Obamacare: Obama’s sneaky way to “save” Social Security by getting rid of all the pesky elderly.

Obamacare: Because Obama’s own Grandma isn’t the only one he’s willing to throw under the bus!

Obamacare: “Ration” the elderly,so that Al Gore can cash in somehow w/some carbon-(based life form) offset scheme.

ObamaCare: Because Grandma and Grandpa have had more than their fair share of pie.

ObamaCare: Life saving surgeries for our most vulnerable citizens? Meh.

ObamaCare: Because deciding whose life is cost-effectively “worth” saving is NOT above my pay grade.

ObamaCare: Because your Grandma’s life is far less valuable than my legacy. http://bit.ly/hL7bl

ObamaCare: Because only bitter, greedy folks “Cling” to life. Let them eat pain pills, with “dignity”!

ObamaCare: As I’ve said before, let me be clear here, we have to do this because Shut Up. And George Bush.

Grandma needs new pacemaker? Suck. It. Up.Your kid has inflamed and infected tonsils? He can totally Suck it up, too.

ObamaCare: Because This Is The Moment Your Tonsils Have Been Waiting For

Grandma wants a new pacemaker? Ration yourself away with a nice pain pill and some “dignity”, woman!

“This committee has decided that you aren’t ready to be “punished” by a baby”

All those with diseases requiring life-saving surgery? Line up to the left for your “pills”

And for any woman who still thinks “Oh, maybe ObamaCare won’t be so bad. It’s for The Children and all”. Would you care to have an Obama-y bureaucrat deciding if your Epidural is cost-effective? I thought not.

Secondly, once we have The Folks attention with our super cool slogans (feel free to add more), we can, you know, offer actual practical plans. Based on my experience as Head Boo-Boo Kisser without insurance, it is still *gasp* possible to have Health CARE. You see, Health Care and Health Insurance are two totally different things. No one in this Country lacks access to Health Care. There are strange, new-fangled paper things called “Cash” and “checks” that doctors actually accept in exchange for services rendered!

Our problem is we are Over-insured. Having insurance cover everything factors out the individual consumer, which in turn eliminates a key component to keeping prices down: competition. While the price of nearly everything else in the medical field, covered by the ubiquitous insurance, has gone up, do you know what costs have come down? Elective, cosmetic surgeries such as breast implants (yes, fellas, those ARE elective, not necessary) liposuction and the like. The reason? They aren’t covered under most insurance policies, leaving consumers to pay out of pocket and, therefore, shop around for the best deal; the highest quality and the most affordable price. Doctors, like all smart people running a business, responded by lowering the cost of such services.

We need more Self-Pay options and we also need to stop expecting the red carpet treatment for the common cold. I do not need insurance to cover everything under the sun, I do not need a “co-pay” option so that I only pay $10 per doctor’s visit when most years I go twice a year, tops. That option also results in the over-booking of doctors, people run to the doctor for practically everything because it “only costs $10). Thus, people who need a doctor, but can’t get an appointment, are heading to the Emergency Room instead. And more and more are closing their doors because of it.

I need and I believe what most people need, is catastrophic insurance only. However, our Government, both at the Federal and the State levels, have made that next to impossible. States mandate things that insurance companies must cover. In New Jersey, for instance, you must be covered for pregnancy, alcohol addiction, even ladies wigs for after chemo. So, a tee-totalling MAN in New Jersey must pay for coverage for things he will never, literally can not ever, use.
Jim DeMint has been pushing a bill called the Health Care Choice Act for ages and it is something that can help keep insurance costs lower for people and would result in people who only wish to have catastrophic insurance being able to make that choice. Yes, all on their own! They actually can decide what type of coverage they desire or require. Hence, it has always been voted down, as it makes far too much sense and implies that people don’t need the Government to make choices for them.

Another problem caused by too much Government interference and over-regulation is the lack of “Retail Clinics”, which are Nurse Practitioner run clinics.

In times of economic crisis, the ability of the free market to solve problems may come into question. But in one vital corner of the economy, a little creative capitalism is helping fill a gap.

Some States don’t allow them, to the detriment of all their citizens. We *do* have them here in South Carolina…and that is how I miraculously can pay Out Of Pocket for my very own Health Care! For the cost of $39, I can have an annual check-up, get an immunization, have a strep test or be diagnosed with a sinus infection, obtain a prescription and run to Publix for FREE antibiotics. Yes, funnily enough, we didn’t seem to need the Government to “negotiate” lower prescription costs. Walmart and the private sector did that for us! Walmart started offering prescriptions for $4.00 and every pharmacy followed suit. Publix did one better and now offers antibiotics for Free. A lesson for you, President Obama: The free market and competition can work.

No one need slip through the cracks either (’cause I know that tired old phrase would immediately be forthcoming from the Left). Those who TRULY cannot afford even the rather low price for out of pocket paid check-ups and preventative care are covered already under Medicare/Medicaid. Everyone else just needs to make some choices…buy that Starbucks coffee every day or bring your own for 2 weeks and pay for your kid’s annual check-up. Have every cable channel under the sun every month or purchase a lower-priced Catastrophic insurance policy?

Obviously, there is more to it than the above, but that is a good place to start instead of completely overhauling 1/6 of our Economy and ceding control of our health care choices entirely to the Government.

Choices. We need them and we need to make them. What we don’t need is NO choice, but a single system run by the Government, resulting in “rationing” and the same stellar service as we receive from the DMV. Less insurance, private sector, free market/competition and personal responsibility is required. Not a committee of bureaucrats deciding who gets what medical procedure and when. Or if at all.

There! There’s a letter for you Obama, since you seem to base policy on them. Mommy made it all better. Now go sit in the corner and take a time out.

(cross-posted here)