By: Steven (Diary)  |  June 15th at 06:32 AM  | 

Most candidates realize you have to survive your general election, not just the primary before you start acting like an idiot.

By: Steven (Diary)  |  May 28th at 05:36 AM  | 

“Why don’t you Americans want free health care?”

By: Steven (Diary)  |  May 27th at 10:01 AM  | 

I live in Portugal. Until recently, Portugal was located at the end of the Iberian Peninsula, the westernmost point of Europe. Nowadays, Portugal is right next door to Greece, jockeying with the Cradle of Democracy for first place in the spiral race down the drain.

By: Steven (Diary)  |  December 29th at 05:23 AM  | 

We still don’t know, for instance, why 99% of Ppontaneous Human Combustion cases involved young Muslim men

By: Steven (Diary)  |  December 13th at 06:52 AM  | 

Fans will recall that the three have not shared a microphone since their breakup in 2006, when Ahmadinejad (Mo-jad) stormed off stage during a live performance of their breakout piece, “White Man Infidel Ruined Da World.”

By: Steven (Diary)  |  December 8th at 09:10 AM  | 

“Put not your faith in princes,” the Bible says

But that is exactly what I have done

And worse

By: Steven (Diary)  |  October 12th at 07:09 AM  | 

The point I made is that Biden’s celebrated tendency to blurt out the truth might actually be a clever ruse, as opposed to a simple case of Tourette syndrome.

By: Steven (Diary)  |  October 11th at 07:10 AM  | 

…this year we are inspired by the approach of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee…

By: Steven (Diary)  |  October 9th at 06:26 PM  | 

According to Vernon Coldwater, a spokesman from The Onion legal department, his employer can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that the idea of awarding Obama the Peace Prize is the intellectual property of staff writers from the Onion political satire department, and that it was stolen by spies from Oslo.

By: Steven (Diary)  |  September 21st at 06:24 AM  | 

Since when have artists needed to collude with The Man to decide how to do their work?

By: Steven (Diary)  |  September 12th at 04:49 PM  | 

Senator Olympia Snowe, (R-Maine) proudly waved her newly-minted handicapped parking placard. “This represents a major blow against the injustices suffered by the less-enabled,” she said, as she spoke in glowing terms of the government benefits that would now be extended to truth-impaired members of Congress.

By: Steven (Diary)  |  September 4th at 03:29 AM  | 

If brevity is indeed the soul of wit…

By: Steven (Diary)  |  September 1st at 03:43 AM  | 

The hand that lingered on David Brooks’ thigh was my own.

By: Steven (Diary)  |  November 10th at 02:36 AM  | 

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had much time to brood over the election. Still, I had some ready answers when my Aussie friend Benjamin mentioned it. When he said that Obama was in a great position to align America with the sentiments of the rest of the world, I said that was exactly what I was afraid of. I | Read More »

By: Steven (Diary)  |  November 5th at 07:19 AM  | 

In a huge first page headline today, underneath a photo of Obama that took up the entire first page above and part-way below the fold,the Saudi Gazette shouted, “America Votes to Wake from its Long Nightmare.” A friend from the Australian Embassy met me for lunch and asked me what I thought about the election, and without waiting for a response, told me that he | Read More »

By: Steven (Diary)  |  October 28th at 08:14 AM  | 

First of all, do I have to point out that, to support Obama’s candidacy, one has to be a little selective in one’s application of principle? I don’t think it should be necessary, but then again, I shouldn’t have to tell my kids to wash their hands after using the restroom, but sometimes the blindingly obvious needs to be restated. Forgive me if you already | Read More »

By: Steven (Diary)  |  October 22nd at 03:30 AM  | 

LUCKNOW, India (AP) — A woman chopped the head off a man who allegedly tried to attack her and then paraded the head through a market in northern India, police said Friday. Police arrested the woman late Thursday after receiving calls from frightened witnesses who reported a blood-soaked woman holding a severed head was walking through the village, said police officer Ram Bharose.

By: Steven (Diary)  |  September 10th at 01:19 AM  | 

There’s been a lot of confusion lately about Barack Obama’s religion, most of it fueled by scurrilous rumormongers, just as certain one day of his devotion to the tenets of Black Liberation Theology, as they are the next day of his allegiance to Islam. Some say the candidate himself has contributed to the confusion by issuing contradictory statements, shifting his alliances, and falling prey to | Read More »

By: Steven (Diary)  |  August 25th at 09:02 AM  | 

So in the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, Led Zeppelin toned down the lyrics to their song “Whole Lotta Love” in order to not offend the delicate sensibilities of the Chinese. Is anyone else scratching their head over that one? What is it about murderous dictatorships that make them lean so heavily in the direction of prudishness? How does one resolve the conflict between a | Read More »