Sticks and Stones at Rutgers
The Wrong Lesson About Responding To Don Imus
By Dan McLaughlin Posted in Culture — Comments (25) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
So the Rutgers women's basketball team held a team press conference yesterday to respond to Don Imus:
Rutgers' outraged coach, C. Vivian Stringer, wiped away tears as she recounted her own battles with racism and said she won't let Imus "steal our joy."
Then each player stood up, walked over to the microphone and introduced herself.
Towering over her teammates, Vaughn gave a cheery "Good morning, everyone." But her broad smile faded as she opened up about the hurt she feels - as an African-American and a woman. "I'm not a ho, I'm a woman. I'm someone's child," she said.
The decision to hold this press conference is a horrible failure of leadership on the part of Stringer and anyone else in the athletic and academic establishment at Rutgers who let this happen.
To recap, for those of you just tuning in, radio 'shock jock' Don Imus is in hot water, and justifiably so, for referring to the Rutgers women's hoops players as "nappy headed hos," and a fair debate is to be had as to whether this proves that Imus is
(a) a racist and/or sexist;
(b) a boor and a moron with no sense of propriety;
(c) a cranky old coot whose brain is permanently addled by drugs having a 'senior moment' on the air;
(d) an aging shock-radio guy trying desperately to stay relevant by talking like a 22-year-old rapper; or
(e) my personal favorite, all of the above.
I'm not here to defend Imus, as his remark was indefensible, and besides, Imus endorsed and relentlessly touted Kerry in 2004, so let the Left defend him. On the other hand, as I have long argued, not everything that is indefensible is necessarily a capital crime. Imus has, appropriately, been given a two-week suspension for the same reason you hit the dog with a rolled-up newspaper when he poops on the living room rug. Whether he should be fired depends on what you think more generally about shock-jock radio, since this kind of thing is basically an occupational hazard of employing people like Imus. Of course, there's also the fact that Imus isn't funny (granted, I've never been a regular listener, and I first heard him around 1980 so I may be selling his early work short, but in my book a guy who is unfunny for going on three decades is not funny).
But here's the thing: whether or not they think they are just in the business of winning ballgames, college coaches are role models to their players. College students are at a particularly impressionable stage in their lives: finally old enough to first start to see adults as peers rather than distant authority figures, they naturally begin to model themselves on whomever they meet that most impresses them. Most college athletes - and I assume this is true of the Rutgers women as well - will not become professional athletes, and thus are preparing themselves for life and jobs in the real world. It is incumbent on their coaches to teach them lessons that will help them there.
Imus' remarks were crude and ugly, but the lesson Stringer should have been sending these young ladies is that they say a lot about Imus but nothing about them. Different people handle these things differently, but a coach worth his or her salt could have played this at least two perfectly reasonable ways. One is to laugh it off with the traditional "sticks and stones" attitude, and show the players that this really shouldn't mean anything to them; there will always be people who say inappropriate and mean-spirited things in life, and you shouldn't take that seriously. A more combative personality of the Bobby Knight variety would respond by taking some personal public potshots at Imus, drawing the story away from the players and into coach vs. shock jock; this would teach the players the valuable lesson that when somebody sucker punches your people, you hit them back in kind and teach them a lesson.
What you do not do is call a press conference like this:
"I want to ask him, 'Now that you've met me, am I ho?'" said Rutgers center Kia Vaughn of the Bronx. "Unless they've given 'ho' a whole new definition, that's not what I am."
Declaring that Imus has "stolen a moment of pure grace for us," the wounded women spoke out for the first time about Imus' racist radio remarks.
"This has scarred me for life," said guard Matee Ajavon of Newark. "I've dealt with racism before. For it to be in the public eye like this, it will be something I will tell my granddaughter."
Somebody gave these young women the message - or at least failed to disabuse them of the notion - that they should take Imus' words seriously, take them to heart. This press conference was a show of the coach and the players wallowing in Imus' words, embracing them, and thus elevating them as if any serious person would think less of them - rather than of Imus - for what Imus said. This story should never have been about the players, because Imus' words were generic (indeed, that's precisely why they were offensive). It's the Culture of Victimology at its most destructive, teaching these young women that they should consider themselves to have been genuinely maligned by an aging boor and to seek out the status and posture of one to whom a deep wrong has been done and who is owed.
Put more succinctly, when someone calls you a 'nappy headed ho,' you should not feel the need to call a press conference to deny it. Maybe these young women don't know that - but if they don't, it was the business of someone in a position of authority to teach them. Shame on Vivian Stringer and Rutgers University for failing to teach them that.
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...African-Americans who call women "hos" and use the n-word, I'll continue to decry the double standard, and to change the channel (or the radio station) any time something as dumb as this is brought up or discussed.
see here... for details.
____
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
CNN.COM has a video: "Black women who use 'ho' say Imus can't"
with sub heading:
"A double standard?
Remarks by radio host Don Imus are similar to language used everyday. CNN's David Mattingly reports. (April 11)"
The story went on and on about how bad those words were, following the story with female students. At the end the instructor asked those students if they had ever called another woman those words, and all said "yes".
I disagree that laughing it off or sucker punching Imus are the only two reasonable choices here. You set up an artificial dichotomy. (Which is a nifty way to create a column's structure, for sure.)
You ignore the presence of the many bigoted people out there who delighted in Imus' remarks, some of whom will think of that team in the terms he used for the rest of their bigoted lives.
The coach and the ladies did what was by far the best thing, with regard to the rest of *their* lives. The ladies learned that you do not have just the two choices to either ignore bad things *or* blow them up.
As for Imus, I've never seen or heard him, and probably never will.
But it's only because I wish I were a strong black woman.
"During my lifetime, all our problems have come from mainland Europe, and all the solutions from the English-speaking nations across the world." - Thatcher
...by the words of someone I've never met, who has never met me, and who has no control whatsoever over my life.
Yep - that's a "strong woman." Victimhood is not strength - sorry.
so what could we expect.
When the coach and the ladies call a press conference and condemn rappers like Mims and that ilk, then I'm willing to listen and consider their "outrage". Until then, it's just a whiney press conference.
Work to change the culture or just get over it. By their silence about rap music lyrics, they are in large measure responsible for Imus "offense".
____
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
... deconstructing violent, misogynist rap songs to his daughters -- lest they become subtly baked into their consciousness -- I couldn't agree more.
--
We would also like to know your advice for somebody like my daughter, who's going to graduate in two years, advice that you would give a young person.
SEC. RUMSFELD: Advice for a young person. Study history.
____
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
What rap song specifies the Rutgers Women basketball games? This was said directly about them, why in the world would they not be right for speaking up? You are not entitled to defend yourself unless you right all wrongs that are done to everyone else too?
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. - Douglas Adams
...but that doesn't make their "15 minutes of victimhood" a class act. I'm sure we'll be seeing this all again with more tears on Oprah soon, followed by a call from Nancy Pelosi.
Strong black women? C'mon girls, you should be doing the dozens on Imus and his mama.
The team made it about themselves; telling the press who they are(like one being her high school Valedictorian). They want us to know they weren't the ho's that Imus claimed they were. Also one team member spoke out against rap and hip hop lyrics.
There is a certain strength in admitting emotions. In fact, it's such a scary thing to do that many men never learn how.
---
Internet member since 1987
Member of the Surreality-Based Community
I ask you, have you ever persuaded anyone of anything by telling them that what they really think is something completely different from what they said?
Doing that gets people banned here at RS because it's moronic at best and offensive at worst.
And like someone said downthread, saying you were "scarred for life" by the likes of Imus is pretty much the antithesis of being strong.
If you have never seen or heard of Don Imus you must live in a hole in the ground. I've never liked him but he's near impossible to avoid.
"No compromise with the main purpose, no peace till victory, no pact with unrepentant wrong." - Winston Churchill
being demeaned, belittled, dismissed or direspected until it quits supporting those within itself, like the rap and hiphop cultures, who set its lowest standards by doing those very things.
Envisioning when all that is Left is the Right.
Well actually 80% of the consumers of rap music are white and almost all the major rap labels are owned by "white" corporations. I take your point about blacks having a responsibility to speak out against the sexism is rap music--and many do--but there is also a broader societal responsibility to stop patronizing arts forms that degrade women.
da po' black folks by buyin' the black rappers trash.
Envisioning when all that is Left is the Right.
is a horrible failure...
Well, yeah, sort of. The saddest part of the whole affair is that this will get more attention for the womens' team than winning the championship ever will, since womens basketball gets much less attention than mens. C'est la vie.
On the other hand, maybe the ladies deserve a chance to respond. Maybe this is a bad stage for the reply, but would they get another stage? I doubt it.
Yesterday on Fox, Fred Barnes made a great statement. The women should not feel "scarred for life". They should hold their heads up in pride and answer Imus from the position of victory instead of victimhood. After all, what greater achievement is possible for the basketball team than winning the championship?
What should have been, at the very least, 15 minutes of fame for some great athletes has turned into a month of publicity for Imus.
Go figure.
They got absolutely smoked by Tennessee.
cheesed at Imus for his comments. Losing sucks. Coming up short in a championship game couldn't feel good and they were trying to at least feel the joy of a great run when Imus chimed in.
Having said that, the rest of this is overkill. Kissing the ring of Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton is just stupid, look at their histories.
As a military officer, I applaud the Rutgers' basketball coach.
I can completely understand the Rutgers' coach's feelings. When you lead people and you are a good leader, you bond with them. In many ways, you become one. You feel their pleasure and to quote Bill Clinton, you feel their pain.
She is also black and female, I'm sure she has experienced some level of hate because of her skin tone. I'm sure she has had to prove herself because of her sex, more than a man would have. Because she is black and female, she probably tries to protect her players from the pain she's experienced.
I will admit, I didn't hear what she said, but from what I've read, she was defending all of her women, not only the black ones.
Short of shooting Imus, I don't think its possible for her to overreact. She is defending her players, all of them.
This discussion is exactly why Imus should not be fired. A free society, even one that is free to hate, is the best way to solve societal problems.
Have you ever been hounded by the NY and national media? The press conference was as much to make their feelings known as it was to get the media leeches to leave them alone.
You'll note they were also careful not to pass judgement on what would or wouldn't be appropriate 'punishment'. This whole event was a media feeding frenzy. Had it happened in the age prior to 24/7 cable news/talk it never would have come to this.
Rant Street! www.rant.st
I sent this to Mike & Mike on ESPNRadio Wednesday morning:
"Mike & Mike,
Imus, in the least, is an idiot. What he said just made me shake my head, but I wasn’t surprised by it. This is the easy part. The fall out is where I’m torn. I’m not black and I’m not a woman, so my perspective on this may not matter. Does Imus, or what he said, deserve this much reflection? He apologized, though apologies these days can be taken with a grain of salt. Give Imus credit for not needing to go into rehab. Also, he’s been suspended, even if that wasn’t immediate, so punishment has been meted out. This incident, then, should be over. Yet it lingers. It has continued to the point where Imus nearly played the victim card himself, in his interview with Al Sharpton.
"I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was put off by the Rutgers news conference and coach Vivian Stringer. Coach Stringer was speaking about not letting others make you a victim, yet, here was the Rutgers women’s basketball team – the national runner ups – being the victim. Are these women victims – in the truest sense of the word? Or, are they above this? If the team wants to meet with Imus, that’s their choice. Personally, I think they should have shrugged their shoulders and laughed it off as some idiot joke made by some old, has-been, white radio shock jock. No need to give Imus any more publicity or any more room to whine about his reputation.
"Mike Greenberg, this is to the comments you made on the program this morning: do you really believe these women are powerless and defenseless? I cannot imagine any of those players accepting such a description. These women do have the power and the ability to defend themselves. They are choosing to meet with Imus and find understanding in his words. I think ignoring him would be more prudent. The man just isn’t that important."
R.J.
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You have been carrying around your backpack of privilege all your life not facing down the power of the white patriarchy . . . ;-)
More seriously, I think it speaks volumes about our therapeutic and race obsessed culture that this is how we respond to this type of thing. These people can say obscene and offensive things for decades and nothing much is made of it. But touch on race and suddenly the whole country needs to work through its issues. It is all about hurt feelings and apologies instead of the fact that Imus is simply doing what he has always done: say stupid offensive things.
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Kevin Holtsberry
www.kevinholtsberry.com