The *Next* Al Gore Consolation Prize for Never, Ever Going to Be President Contest.
Place yer bets, ladies and gentlemen. Place yer bets.
By Moe Lane Posted in Miscellanea — Comments (65) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
[UPDATE: But, Aziz: you forgot to mention that it's a Gore Derangement Syndrome post in the form of a contest! That's got to be worth extra points! I'm wounded.]
Fausta's first possible post-Nobel scenario for Mr. Gore aside, I think that she's hit on something here:
The coy former Vice-President may run for president again, may choose to stay home admiring his Oscar, Emmy, and Nobel, or may do a one-man show on Broadway, which may in turn win him a Tony award, thus outdoing Rita Moreno, who hasn't won a Nobel Peace Prize yet.
When you think about it, the possibilities are endless for the man. So, please: tell us what award he's going to cop next, and tell us how he's going to go get it.
For example: I think that he should try for a Hugo. Granted, he probably can't write for beans, but that's easily remedied: he can go look up David Brin, drag him away from his bleg for Diebold employees to expose the Neocon Conspiracy*, and they can hack out a book together. Quality may not even matter: there's a fair chance that the committee will give the award out of sheer gratitude that somebody's gotten Brin writing science fiction again.
So stick 'em in comments. The more obscure, the better, but they've got to be legitimate awards. The guy's got needs, you understand?
Moe
*Yeah, it depresses the living Hell out of me too. "Thor Meets Captain America" was and is one of my favorite alternate history short stories.
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The *Next* Al Gore Consolation Prize for Never, Ever Going to Be President Contest. 65 Comments (0 topical, 65 editorial, 0 hidden) Post a comment »
For inspiring cartoonists, he'll be awarded the:
THE UNITED NATIONS
CORRESPONDENTS ASSOCIATION
RANAN LURIE POLITICAL CARTOON AWARD
AND
THE UNITED NATIONS
SOCIETY OF WRITERS & ARTISTS
RANAN LURIE POLITICAL CARTOON AWARD
From the Ranan Lurie organization for 2008.
Why 2008? Because the 2007 Award nomination process was closed as of October 1. This year's Lurie award will be announced in December. That means Gore has another year in which to practice his own art skills while inspiring others.
I mean, Goracle is a little old and, well, fat to be considered for international (metric) football's greatest prize, but he's got until 2010 to get into shape and, let's face it, it's not as if the US Men's National Team has any better options at striker...
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
A wonder strike from Gore! The nifty through ball from Donovan found Gore at the top of the box, and he slotted it past the Brazilian keeper. The Americans have taken a two nil lead here in the World Cup finals and are absolutely stunning the footballing world.
Gore's 7th goal of the competition puts him two ahead of Kaka, and it surely looks as though he'll take home the Golden Boot.
Yeah...I think I could get behind this.
“I think we are the team to beat in the NL East -- finally.” - Jimmy "MVP" Rollins, 1/23/07
you won't be able to see around it!!!!!!!!!
BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
It's war -- so when can we start shooting back at the enemy Democrats?
reading "Wide Load"
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men."
than the Nobel Peace Prize except of course the UN.
Freedom of Religion not Freedom from Religion
Gore SHOULD win one of those.
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men."
He and Hillary have hated each other for >15 years, and he's the only person who has a shot at stopping her coronation as the Democrat nominee.
Says more about the nothingness of the Nobel award than it does anything else. Giving an award for propaganda, something I used to think only the old communists of days gone by did.
I would definitely encourage him to run, maybe as an independent. With all the free google stock he has been getting I would bet he could write himself a check for the venture. Upgrade to a G-V, or borrow one of the google boys'.
Okay, okay, I kid.
Personally, I'd nominate Gore for the Compasso d'Oro, an award given for industrial design by the Associazione per il Disegno Industriale. After all, any construct crafted to contain Al Gore's ego has to be a triumph of engineering.
"I don't understand why the same newspaper commentators who bemoan the terrible education given to poor people are always so eager to have those poor people get out and vote." - P.J. O'Rourke
The former VP could pursue an award at the annual reality TV awards, known as the "Really Awards." He could rally a cadre of Vietnam era hippy burnouts from Berkley, build a dome, start an ecologically friendly commune, and form the experience into a TV show in order to show us all how much more consciencious progressive people are than the rest of us.
Yes, it is sad that I know the name of the reality TV awards show.
Gore is the epitome of the left. Why?
Algore being "cheated" out of the White House is the ultimate VICTIM!!!!
They love their victims and love showering them with undeserving pity gifts.
Ask not what I can do for my country, ask what my country can do for me. Washington Elected Elite
Or maybe he can settle for one of Andrew Sullivan's awards.
Don't forget, he was also TIME Magazine's 2006 Man of the Year.
"No compromise with the main purpose, no peace till victory, no pact with unrepentant wrong." - Winston Churchill
But then I started wondering if that wouldn't be taken as too mean-spirited...I mean, wishing someone would off themselves in a spectacularly idiotic manner? Well, I suppose technically we aren't hoping he wins this one, just saying its a possibility...
which reminds me, if the earlier concerns of scientists come true and we have a new ice age instead of warming, and Gore has been out trying to get everyone to help the earth cool off, won't that make him a mass murderer? at least indirectly? is there a Pol-Pot award? because it seems like he might be up for that if that scenario were to happen.
"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
Ronald Reagan
The nobel Prize has become a really, really big leftist merit badge.
It has ceased to have any relevance based on it's original intent.
At this point in time, I'd say the goracle is the perfect recipient.
Watch for Madonna next year.
If there is one thing this guy is good at, it's Sales. And if there is 1 Master Sales Award, it's the J. P. Morrell Award for Army Recruiting Excellence...
Carlos: "What? Were they [Democrats]?"
Seth: "They look like [Democrats]? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires.
"[Democrats] do not explode when sunlight hits them."
Nothing would remind the public of "Clinton fatigue" like a long drawn out battle between Hillary and AlGore.
I'd love to see that one. There would be scratching and hair pulling and stuff. Algore would be unshackled from holding back all the dirty little Clinton secrets. National Enquirer should bankroll a gore draft.
Ask not what I can do for my country, ask what my country can do for me. Washington Elected Elite
It's only fitting that his supposed hometown in Tn. give him an award. As an alternative, any town in Wisconsin that would be willing to give him an award featuring the word "cheese" or "butterfat."
I don't know why this is overlooked. It's a shoo-in.
-- He was a college superstar (don't forget, the movie 'Love Story' was about him).
-- Very hard to tackle by just one man, and
-- Let's just say, anybody standing between him and the buffet line goal line will simply be OBLITERATED!
It's war -- so when can we start shooting back at the enemy Democrats?
For those familiar with the movie "Happy, Texas", 'nuf said.
It's war -- so when can we start shooting back at the enemy Democrats?
Maybe the Nobel folks can give him one for Physics next year?
"No compromise with the main purpose, no peace till victory, no pact with unrepentant wrong." - Winston Churchill
Call People Magazine! Nothing says sexy like that killer combo of zealotry, bitterness and self-righteousness. Plus, he's got those killer abs.
"No compromise with the main purpose, no peace till victory, no pact with unrepentant wrong." - Winston Churchill
kissing ANYTHING. That particular moment in time was just gobsmackingly embarrassing to the entire country.
Has him looking good in Earth Tones.
“I think we are the team to beat in the NL East -- finally.” - Jimmy "MVP" Rollins, 1/23/07
"No compromise with the main purpose, no peace till victory, no pact with unrepentant wrong." - Winston Churchill
I had just worked up an appetite for lunch. I guess I'll have to try again later.
Its shameful that you mock the man who made all this possible for you. Without his invention of the internet, RedState wouldn't even have been possible!
THe Flat Earth Society finally has a real challenge to supreme lunacy now.
The Czech president is apparently not a fan of Al Gore.
The relationship between his activities and world peace is unclear and indistinct. It rather seems that Gore's doubting of basic cornerstones of the current civilization does not contribute to peace.Klaus said in a recent speech that environmentalists' efforts to halt global warming "fatally endanger our freedom and prosperity."
In a newspaper interview earlier this year, Klaus said that only Al Gore, and not a sane person, would say that mankind is ruining the planet.
Now there's no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.
From the Darwin Awards website:
"Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it."
I wouldn't truely wish this award on anyone (well, maybe a few extremly evil people), but in the name of dark hummor I'll nominate this one.
In 2002, Al Gore gave a speech which was denounced by just about everyone. He said that Saddam was not an immanent threat to our great country. He was right. He said that an invasion of Iraq would lead us into an occupation which would result in a disaster for our great country. He was right. He said that tousands of American lives would be lost, and many more would be injured. He was right. He said hundreds of thousands of people would be displaced. He was right. He said that murderous gangs of thugs, on both sides, would run rampant, completley hindering our troops ability to deal with them. He was right. He said we would lose the support of the world--and he was right.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's please get one thing through our heads. Iraq is a mess. It is not a "cakewalk" Why do you still listen to Cheney, who has been so wrong? Al Gore, hate him as you will, was right.
Speaking as a former Republican, I ask you--what else is Al Gore right about?
All I can say is, it is getting hotter here.
There should be a place in the Smithsonian waiting for you.
Bon voyage.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
But the rules were, you had to pick an existing award - and how he should go about getting it. Did I use too many big words? I understand that this can be a problem for Al Gore enthusiasts.
The Fuzzy Puppy of the VRWC. I've been usurped!
Algore is a freaking joke. he no more invented tree hugging than he invented the internet. He no more invented bashing the military than he invented hair gel. Do you lefties even realize that Gore would never have won this prize if he were president? The Nobelions gave it to him to stick it to Bush, no Bush, no prize for Alfonso.
Molon Labe!
George Bush said in 2003, I believe it was, that Iraq wasn't an imminent threat to our country, and that was the whole blipping point. You people just don't get it.
[...][f]or [the] ["][S]mar[t]est [G]uy in the [W]orld["] award? Or [are] you afraid of actually going head[-to-]head with him? [O]r me?
[]
OK[,] then[:] here is the [a]ward. The ["][H]uman [B]eing who is not [F]ull of [expletive capitalized, and then deleted]["] award. [It's] [g]iven to those rare individuals who dare to speak [truthtopower]*. I nominate Al Gore.
[*This is an aesthetic judgment: the users of it typically think of it as all one word, so I've edited it accordingly. - Moe Lane]
long enough and it starts to stink!!
" in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abe Lincoln
Never mind the Smithsonian - they don't like potty-mouths, either.
BTW, I wouldn't be vouching for anyone else's intellect when you evidently cannot even find the "Reply To This" link. Especially considering that you're vouching for the intellect of a guy who refuses to debate anyone on the subject for which he just received the Arafat Peace Prize.
Inconvenient, that.
Ta.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
It's war -- so when can we start shooting back at the enemy Democrats?
" in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abe Lincoln
It was lost amongst all the pig-poop. That dude crammed an entire 7-course meal of STUPID into about 3 lines of text.
Pretty decent fete, actually.
It's war -- so when can we start shooting back at the enemy Democrats?
It's war -- so when can we start shooting back at the enemy Democrats?
or is he the only one with the stick? I though Doc was taking some cuts as well?..
" in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abe Lincoln
I'm taking a break from watching 28 Weeks Later.
The Fuzzy Puppy of the VRWC. I've been usurped!
I'd be happy to go wake up Franz from his early afternoon nap. At the moment, he's just snoozing and having dreams about killing and eating an ax murderer. I know he'd be pleased take some of the pressure off your back and replace the ax murderer with the occasional trollish.
Just let me know...
____
CongressCritter™: Never have so few felt like they were owed so much by so many for so little.
How is it? I saw 28 Days Later in the theater and loved it (it had both Zombies and PETA types as villains).
...a long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right...
---Thomas Paine---
...that the idea was for me to keep shouting "No! No! Shoot the kid!" throughout the entire second half. :)
The Fuzzy Puppy of the VRWC. I've been usurped!
I be but a mere mortal, jdub. I am vastly unworthy of the ownership of such a tool as a RedState BoomStick™ (Pat. Pend.).
I just enjoy tickling the trolls from time to time - particularly such easy targets as we've had today.
But thanks for the compliment!
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
just seemed like he had a wing man today!
EPU would love to be Moes wingman, no doubt!
I do like the way you set the table Doc...
" in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abe Lincoln
It's war -- so when can we start shooting back at the enemy Democrats?
...for something a bit... weightier, but ach, well, ciao.
The Fuzzy Puppy of the VRWC. I've been usurped!
Do you have the ability to use logic?
Can you spell?
It's war -- so when can we start shooting back at the enemy Democrats?
The "Stony Award", given by High Times magazine, now in its 8th year.
By the way, did you know that catfish feed exclusively on the bottom - basically nature's garbage disposals?
Lets just get him the Nextel Cup. Just get him all of his shots, pop him into a Hendrick Chevy - they'll take anybody these days, and send him into the Chase.
Surely he's bought enough carbon credits to run a stock car for a season or two.
Who drive the wrong way on their tracks...
Carlos: "What? Were they [Democrats]?"
Seth: "They look like [Democrats]? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires.
"[Democrats] do not explode when sunlight hits them."
He's a bigger idiot than she is. Which surely is the new criteria for Nobel Peace Prizes.
You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you.
As soon as his people can convince Jeopardy's producers to change all the categories to "Known Facts".