Mattel Threatens Iraqi Pullout Over Captured Toy
By brightwinger Posted in User Blogs — Comments (1) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
from Diaries...
Dateline - Mosul
The CEO of Mattel Inc has declared that it will start reducing its troop strength in Iraq by twelve gross upon learning of the capture of a competitor's toy today.
"We feel it could be injurious to our brand if one of our GI Joes were to suffer a beheading," said Jeffrey Stallings. "The last time one of our Joes was beheaded by a three-year-old who choked on the head, we suffered through a cost prohibitive lawsuit that was detrimental to our annual profit picture."
"The board has agonized over this decision because we continue to see Iraq as a new market with nearly unlimited upside potential."
BREAKING NEWS: Al Jezeera has just released a new video showing the Lebonese terrorist Zarkawi, pulling the on the arms of an Armstrong toy until it separated at the shoulders. Zarkawi is seen promising to continue killing American toys until, "all the American infidel children surrender."
...but apart from that this is completely accurate. LOL