Redstate

Elaborate. I know a kid with Asperger's.

would be needed to give better insight.

A little boy in my daughter's class has Asperger's syndrome.  He has some specific characteristics that identify him.  FWIW-he is an enjoyable little boy and doesn't seem too terribly concerned with his label.

As devastating as it is for a parent to be told their child isn't "perfect" or "normal", keep in mind that this doesn't have to handicap your son in any way.  Get busy with your research and advocate what is in your son's best interest.  Don't ever give in to an "expert" if your gut tells you something different.

Good luck to you and thank God for him everyday!

Just wanted to congratulate you on your son's diagnosis.  My husband was in his 30s when we learned of aspergers, and it helped him understand why he felt like an alien some of the time!  For our son, it's been great knowing that he is so literal in listening to us...  like the old joke about computers, he often does what we tell him to do, not what we want him to do!  

Would love to chat with you personally, you can e-mail me at my username here, @gmail.com, and I will reply.   In the meantime, ignore the "autism" side of asperger's - especially the "CURE" part - who'd want to cure your son's personality???  and check out the Aspie web sites, especially OASIS, at http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/

In the meantime, I'm quite pleased to have come across redstate.org because of a Google Alert on Asperger's.  I've been looking around, and liking it!

Keep looking around.  If you see items you don't like feel free to reply to those comments as well.

I think he is quirky, and what is wrong with being an individual?

Nothing's wrong with being an individual.  Thank God my parents didn't try to cure me.


Disclaimer: I don't have aspergers that I know of. But I'm quirky enough that I'm sure that the 'right' doctor could find somethig wrong with me.

Asperger's isn't a 'on-off' thing.  It is a degree type of thing.  People who were like your son didn't have Asperger's until ten years ago.  Before that they were either Autistic or Quirky depending on how much it bothered them.

When I was a kid I had to have peanutbutter and grape jelly sandwiches for lunch at school.  I wouldn't go to school if we were out of jelly or peanutbutter.  I tested higher in verbal tests than in math tests.  Do I have it?  Nope. I have other issues!  

The point is not to let the doctors get in the way of loving your son.  Just because he has a pattern of behaviors that are potentially challenging doesn't mean that he wont be successful, in fact he might be more successful, whether measured by satisfaction or by wealth.  Just make sure the treatments don't do more harm than the problem.  And stock up on grape jelly.

There are some criticisms of diagnosing Aspergers.  I happen to believe that a lot of the supposed "disorders" like Aspergers and ADD are just a way to get males to not be so "male" in the name of "medicine".  I obviously don't know your son's situation so I can't comment on it specifically.


From Wikipedia:

Some people, including some people diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, argue that Asperger's syndrome is a social construct. Professor Simon Baron-Cohen of the Autism Research Centre has written a book arguing that Asperger's syndrome is an extreme version of the way in which men's brains differ from women's. He says that, in general, men are better at systematizing than women, and that women are better at empathizing than men. Hans Asperger himself is quoted as saying that his patients have 'an extreme version of the male form of intelligence'.

I assure you, it is not a social construct. I know a boy with it. He's not fully connected to our world. He's not "different." He has a heart attack if a fire drill happens without him being told first. He can't play a video game without a walkthrough guide. He sometimes enters his own world, and only his mother can get him back.

Well I'm not sure what I should have said so maybe that's why I was unclear.  


I don't doubt at all that there is such a disorder as Aspergers (or ADD/ADHD) - quite the contrary.


I'm just very wary of diagnoses of these types of disorders because in my personal experience there is a great rush to medicate otherwise healthy young male children who would be much better served with a healthy dose of love, parenting, and understanding.  And I've seen this medication, coupled with the lack of exploring alternatives harm kids who I thought could have had a much happier resolution.  Do I make sense at all?


To my credit at least I pointed out that I couldn't comment on his situation specifically.

That diagnosis (which, from your description, sounds dead-on) is the first step to discovering what kind of help he needs -- and that you need too. Refusing him that help certainly doesn't do him any good, however much it might soothe your ego.

You don't mention tantrums, but I'm betting they have been a problem.  Get the book, "The Explosive Child", which doesn't assume any diagnosis, but has advice that is sure to help you, whatever it is he has.

My 5-year-old daughter was diagnosed two years ago, and it is the only thing that has saved us.  She also delights everyone who meets her, and is a gifted artist, but she seriously needed help learning how to cope with her condition.  I am borderline myself, and my adolescence was way more miserable than it need have been, had anybody understood this stuff back then.

You have your work cut out for you.  There is very little ready help for this, most places, unlike so many other conditions much less common.  His problem is really not any of the "quirks", but rather a noisy interference with his perceptual processing; his quirks are really a response to what amounts to sensory deprivation.  He needs what is called "occupational therapy" to help him pull himself together when he gets scattered, and learn ways to calm down.  Every day that you delay getting help makes it harder for him to overcome the difficulties he will face, just as for any child learning a foreign language gets harder with each passing month.

Kids with Asperger's find picking up social cues much harder than other kids do, because social cues are subtle, and that kind of subtle perception is what their condition interferes with.  What other kids pick up instinctively, 'spergies need to be taught; it will never come naturally, but (like mathematics, for the rest of us) they can learn it, with the right help.

You should file with your school district for an "Individual Education Plan" to get them to provide what extra educational resources he needs.  Some kids need math tutoring.  Your son needs a different kind.  He deserves whatever help you can get for him.

Good luck.

I don't doubt that your broader point is right. I've just seen enough people blow off this disease -- which can be extremely mild, to basically full-blown autism by another name -- that I was hypersensitive. Mea culpa.

It can be tricky to distinguish between kids that are gifted, have Asperger's and are both. I'd suggest you take a look at the book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0910707677/qid=1111940488/sr=
8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/104-0266720-6395949?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Also, take a look at the hoagie's gifted page http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/aspergers.htm

I think you are right to be cautious about accepting the label and to continue to focus on your son's many strengths. If you do need to accept the label in order to get services, it doesn't have to be the way you define your son. It is great that you embrace his right to be the person he is meant to be.

They gave him the Wechsler Preschool and Primary Scales of Intelligence test, and on his Verbal Subtests; Information, Vocabulary, Word Reasoning, Comprehension, and Receptive Vocabulary he either scored Superior (Age Equivalent to a 7 year old's ability) or high average, mostly Superior's here which didn't surprise me.  On his Performance Subtests, he failed the Picture Concept which measures abstract categorical reasoning abilities.  On this test, my son was unable to organize himself visually and determine what item on the top was most like the item on the bottom.  I know he knows that a tiger is more like a monkey than a tennis racket, but for some reason he couldn't understand the test or what they wanted him to do.

Anyway, he is not as severe as the child you described down thread.  The main reason I suspected something was up, was the stemming.  If he is bored/happy/sad he will start walking in circles, sometimes he'll cough while flapping, and sometimes he'll hum.  He is easy to redirect, and anyone can redirect him, not just me.  His stemming has interfered with his circle time at Preschool and at soccer practice. He isn't being attentive to what is being said, and I don't want him to miss out on the skills that his peers are busy developing because he is in his own world stemming. He does have a rule thing, but it really doesn't interfere with our family schedule.  I am not sure if his "rules" are out of the normal. He really is an easy kid.  With this being said, I didn't think he had Asperger's.  I actually thought he had ADD. I am going to get him the help that my Psychologist recommended. I think it will only help him.

You really are a gentlemen, SouthernGent!  I was a quirky girl, believe me. :) Thanks for the support.  I just got the full assessment in the mail yesterday, so I think I got a bit unhinged. Much better today.

Just from your brief description, it sounds like classic Asperger's Syndrome. My brother got a professional diagnosis, and I didn't need a professional diagnosis to figure out I had Asperger's, once I knew the symptoms. It was really a relief for me to figure out that my brain was wired differently. I have raised three sons with varying degrees of Asperger's. I estimate 25% of the engineers where I work have Asperger's characteristics.

You know how you can breed dogs with brains which are "wired" differently? Some are pointers, some are herders, some retrieve, some attack; all are still dogs, and valuable for each purpose. Accept that the brain is wired differently, and take advantage of the unusual skills, and work on the few social skills which are lacking. He may not seek approval, or care what other people think. It may be difficult to discipline a child who does not seek approval; a dirty look may not influence him in the slightest, because he truly won't care what you think. You can deprive him of favorite toys, computers, freedoms, etc. but someday he may just take them without permission anyway. You may end up being forced to use physical punishment as a last resort. You'll have to be the judge... given a choice between a child who would run out into traffic and get killed, and spanking or restraining a child, well, you get the picture. Never assume a common-sense learning of social skills. You will have to teach him to dress like his peers, to comb his hair, to clean his ears; he will never learn to do this by example. A large book-learned vocabulary may be impressive, but he may often miss shades of meanings on those words, and often mispronounce them. He probably won't learn that his peers don't understand those words, and he may be ostracized. (I have to "dumb down" everything I say and write so that average people can understand me!)

It is clear to me that I perceive flavors, aromas, spices, textures, pain and sounds differently than neurotypicals.

You will probably be better off not telling relatives or anyone at school he has Asperger's. Just work on getting him to "act normal", accept it when he screws up social interactions, and teach him the cues he missed. Teach him the cause and affect of his actions... "If you flap your hands and hum in school, other mean children will tease you... you must never flap and hum at school!" Mind you, ten years ago, nobody ever even heard of this; these kids were mainlined with all the other kids in school, and often gravitated toward the "gifted" programs! Many were the traditional Geeks and Nerds. If a school threatens to throw him out because of some individual act of "bad judgment", that is the time to mention he has Asperger's, and invite the school system to pay for his alternative schooling if they can't overlook his mistake. I found a remarkable difference in a school administrator's attitude when faced with being forced to pay for special education.

You will have to teach him systems for remembering homework or meeting times, etc. since his one-track mind may not connect to the part of the mind for remembering homework.

He may not like being hugged by his own mother; some deep instinctive part of his brain wiring may interpret it sexually. Ever stare at a cat? A cat will interpret the stare as a threat and start grooming itself; an individual with autistic tendencies will avoid eye-contact. Normal people look at the eyes when they speak; your child might stare at the mouth, because that is where the sound is coming from. He may have trouble remembering faces and names; he may not recognize voices. I have to sketch someone's face on the back of their business card in order for me to recognize them the next time we meet. There are thousands of us Aspies in engineering, academia, laboratories, auto parts counters, computer facilities, etc.; anywhere technical skills are more important than social skills.

Don't believe any of the bunk about vaccines either; Asperger's runs in families, generation after generation, and vaccines can't cause that! Normal people do not seem to be able to grasp the concept that just because two things are coincident, that it doesn't prove causality. This common human failing is called apophrenia. It is extremely difficult to near impossible sometimes to prove something isn't a mere coincidence. Many children get diagnosed with autistic tendencies at around the same age they get vaccines, so the parents mistakenly blame the vaccine. There was a quack doctor in England with a financial interest in his unique vaccine regimen that milked the vaccine scare for all it was worth. Any student of the scientific methods can tell you that studies that show coincidence prove almost nothing; studies that show absolutely no connection prove vastly more, since there is no alternative explanation. A recent study in Japan again failed to show any connection between autism and vaccines; the rate was the same in a population with no vaccinations.

Asperger's is considered a mild form of autism. Autism was coined from the Greek "auto", or "self", so Autism is a very politically correct way of saying "self-centered geek who doesn't care about other people and tries to stay in his own little world".

If you persevere and can teach your child to "act normal" and "pay attention" (even if you have to spank him), he can have a successful and rewarding career. Or you can let him choose to "do his own thing" and keep your eye out for some nice sheltered workshop where they will tolerate him. Be very careful about taking advice from someone currently raising their first autistic child; go for advice from someone who has actually raised a few, and figured out what worked and what didn't.  

for your comments. I am getting him the help that he needs.  My ego can easily be bruised, trust me. I could be described as quirky myself. What's ironic is right before I was told by my preschool teacher that she thought there might be an issue with my son, I was going to talk to someone about ADD for myself. I could be borderline Asperger's as well. I am not sure.  This is going to be an odd question, but since you admitted that you are borderline, do you have an auditory problems?

I have a question for you since you are so familiar with Asperger's.  Do any of your boys have auditory discrimination difficulties, such as understanding and attending to what is being said, differentiating and remembering certain sounds or words, judging the source of sounds?  This has been a huge problem in my life, and my son has a few of these problems as well, especially following verbal requests that require multiple steps.  He can do it, it seems like he's on a delay, and you have to repeat yourself several times before he "gets it".  Is this difficulty a part of Asperger's in your opinion?

Yes, auditory information is compromised. I lack the ability to pick out just one conversation if there are simultaneous conversations. If I am trying to watch a television program and someone starts talking in the room, I have to raise the volume on the television to ear-splitting levels to follow the dialogue on the television. It drives my wife nuts. I CAN simultaneously read the newspaper and listen to the television with full comprehension of both. I can simultaneously listen and comprehend two conversations, if they are on opposite sides of me (but just two! add a third and I comprehend nothing.)

I can "tune out" conversations completely if I am concentrating on something. I will be completely oblivious to the fact that they are speaking to me, unless they say my name or attract my attention with a louder than normal sound. I am also terrible at figuring out the first few words someone says, especially if there is no context. If someone says three short syllables quickly, my mind processes it as if it were a single three-syllable word, then compares it to all of the words in the seven languages I am familiar with (English, German, Spanish, French, Dutch, Latin, classical Greek) and if I don't get a "hit", I have to ask then to repeat it slowly with clear enunciation, and that it when I often find they actually said three one-syllable words in quick succession. For every word in my mind, there is a connection to a picture context representing that word, and from that picture context, links to every possible synonym of that word, and foreign synonyms. When someone gives me complex instructions, I try to take notes if it is something I am not familiar with, because until I form a picture of it in my mind, it is not learned, except as a sequence of words. Yet for my lack of ability to remember word or number sequences, show me a plan of a building, and I can project it three dimensionally into my mind and perceive how it would look from any internal or external perspective, and draw that perspective in three dimension with correct dimensional perspective and shadows. I seem almost incapable at remembering someone's spoken name, and am not great at remembering their business card, since all business cards look pretty much the same, but if I write their name on a document, in context, and I can remember that document, I can better remember the name.

Regarding recognizing voices, I cannot even recognize my own children's voices on the telephone. I believe what little ability I have to recognize voices comes only from my ability to recognize regional accents, speech patterns, context, etc.; I apparently do not recognize timbre or tone in a voice, yet I can tell when a note on a cello is sharp or flat.

One characteristic not mentioned much in the Asperger literature, but something I have noted being present in a lot of relatives and engineers with Asperger's I have known, is problems with pronouns. I know one engineer who can write you an email with only pronouns, no nouns, and he obviously doesn't perceive that the reader will not know who "he" "them" and "they" are. Conversely, many Asperger's will be lost when you use a pronoun, or miss-interpret from the context which party the pronoun refers to. This confusion is so prevalent among engineers that I just try to avoid pronouns altogether, and repeat things back substituting nouns for pronouns.

To give you an idea of how differently autistic minds can be wired, it has been proven that even the sleep/dream patterns of people on the autistic spectrum are different. The research has addressed the different timing and patterns to their sleep, but I can even "monitor" my dreams, with a part of my mind saying "this is irrational, you are dreaming" and redirecting the context of the dream.

A possible explanation of the delay in processing could be likening the brain to a heavy locomotive; once set in motion, it doesn't stop easily. We all have acetylcholine neurotransmitters at the synapses; maybe some people are better than others at the neuro-metabolic process of turning those neuro-transmitters on and off. The neurotransmitters are essential for permanent memory; they may be a detriment to instantaneous electrical thought processes. Scientists have also discerned real differences in the ratio of sizes of various structures in the autistic brain.

I do not try to get into my sons' minds; I have enough problems relating to my own mind, and I've got a front-row seat. My oldest son, though he owns his own home, still is so scatter-brained that he requires guidance from time to time to make sure his bills get paid and taxes done, etc., yet he clearly has above average intelligence. Fifteen years ago, Aserger's wasn't even heard of in the US, and one shrink told me I should institutionalize my son, and another told me I should keep him busy with intellectually stimulating activities. I am so very glad I took the second opinion, and my son's 4H  insect collections were blue-ribbon winners year after year. Don't assign a "personality" to Asperger's either... in my estimation I have three boys with varying degrees of the syndrome, and three brothers with varying degrees of the syndrome (one professionally diagnosed), yet their personalities are all totally different from each other. what they have in common are obsessions, stubborness, rude interupting, lack of social skills and geekiness, but nothing you can't work around.

Putting a "br" tag or two return strokes between your paragraphs makes it much easier to read.  


Thanks for posting the information. Keep it up.

You just described a lot of my auditory problems.  I also have problems figuring out where a sound is coming from, and pronouncing words. I see the word, I know what it means, but I will mispronounce it. Weird, huh? Like Hyperbole for example. Most people will pronounce it HIGH PER BOWL LEE. I pronounce it HYPER BOWL. Now, I've heard it pronounced correctly but for some reason in speech, it comes out different and wrong. For the most part, I cannot understand in at a reasonable clip conversation at a busy party, or in a bar setting.  I get frustrated when there is background noise.  It's hard enough for me to "get" what's going on and being said when there is no noise! Thanks again for your insight.

Once you have "book learned" a word incorrectly, it is difficult to reprogram your mind. May I suggest you make up a rhyme which only works with the correct pronunciation as a mnemonic.

Regarding locating sounds; the brain locates the direction of a sound by comparing the phase relationship between the signals received at each ear. There is a natural limit to what we can discriminate in phase shift, and at higher frequencies, the ability disappears because the phase shift is too large compared to the wavelength of the sound itself. So nobody does well telling what direction high-pitched sounds come from... that's why everyone looks around trying to figure out whose cell phone is beeping! If you can't tell what direction a low frequency sound is coming from, maybe you just don't have good hearing in one ear.

I noticed that you wrote "stemming" in your note... I betting you were trying to say "stimming" which is short for "stimulating"; some autistics like to do things which stimulate their own nervous system. You may have heard the word incorrectly.

I found it fascinating that you shared some of the same problems. You have to remember that autism and Aspergers are "spectrum" diseases; it is not something discrete, like growing an extra arm out of the top of your head. The protein that controls a specific facet of brain growth might turn on one day early, or two days early, or a week early, or a month early. It might turn on early and turn off early. It might turn on early, and turn off late. It might turn on late, and turn off early. It might never turn on, it might never turn off. There could be nearly infinite variation. Scientists have established a correlation between the ratio of ring finger/ index finger length as an indicator of in utero exposure to male hormones; just lately scientists have established a correlation between these finger ratios and autism and Asperger's; perhaps in utero exposure to male hormones is involved in autism, and would explain why there are so many more males with autism than females.

Because it is a spectrum disease, not everyone will share the same symptoms, intelligence, etc. Some things may be pure coincidence too. I get a diaphragmatic spasm anytime I swallow something cold, or swallow a bolus (lump of chewed food) that isn't extremely tiny... is it just me, or do any other Aspies out there have this problem?

You're not off the mark but I think that what you are getting at is more on the mark for ADD/ADHD than for Asperger's or autism.  My spouse is a child neurologist and we discuss this all the time.  The following is my take on the situation not his, though my thoughts are certainly informed by my discussions with him.  

There is certainly a segment of kids diagnosed ADD/ADHD who really need and will benefit from meds.  (I've spent time with a few of these who are friends of my boys and by the time they go home - I need meds.)

However, there is a much larger group of kids who are receiving this diagnosis b/c their behavior patterns and abilities don't fit our current societal needs and norms. We no longer need our want hunters or farmers or even people who work with their hands.  Instead our one size fits all education system wants kids who can sit still in a classroom and pay attention 8 hours a day with a view to college.  Not everyone is wired for this; nor should we want everyone to be wired for this.  But we do.  Why we think it is necessary or desireable for every American to have a college degree is beyond me.  We are doing a great disservice to those whose aptitudes and desires lie elsewhere.

IMO the problem is even more with parents than with the physicians.  Especially among the affluent families who seem to think that unless every child is a B student or better there is something "wrong" with him or her and since everyone wants instant remedies and since many parents lack the self discipline to impose discipline on their children, everyone wants a pill.  The quick and easy fix. My spouse constantly recommends severly restricting gaming and tv for kids with mild symptoms but parents can't seem to do it or don't want to do it - the pill is so much easier.

I really wish we would bring back and esteem a vocational education track in this country and that we would quit medicating the heck out of our kids who don't fit our overly rigid idea of normal.

I have always suspected that my spouse and I are both Asperger's. I tease my husband about this (he's an MD in this field, but he doesn't dispute it!)  We have both been tagged as cold, aloof, unemotional and arrogant (because we don't really care what other people think).  My brother calls me Spock.  We can't remember people's names, we hate small talk, we often miss social cues and will therefore say insensitive things,we avoid social situations, etc.  We are uncommonly comfortable with both silence and being alone.  Nonetheless we are both successful professionals (medicine and law).  

We also have a terrific marriage because we are so much alike. I don't see a marriage with a "neurotypical" (boy do I like that term) working and indeed, my husband's first marriage to classic southern sorority girl was a disaster.

GreekGeek is absolutely right in his advice.  I have had to work hard to learn to fit in.  Every Monday I have to remember to make small talk with the office staff and ask them about their weekends, etc. (even though I am really not at all interested), I have had to actively sit down and memorize personal details about the folks I work with like the names of their spouses and kids (stuff that neurotypicals seem to master effortlessly - like I master tax code effortlessly).  I have taught myself to remember to ask people questions about themselves after they have asked me something about myself.  I have learned that these things matter to people. I don't really know why, but they seem to, so I am willing to work on it. But it's hard work - harder than a neurotypical can imagine.

I do work with my 8 year old who is, I believe, an undiagnosed Asperger's.  Getting him to look people in the eye, shake hands, groom his hair.  I have to actively teach him social conventions that other kids seem to pick up naturally.  We discuss his interactions with other kids alot.  He is able to learn how to modify his behavior, but it all comes from an intellectual understanding of others, not an emotional one. I am often torn between pride that he doesn't care what other people think and concern for getting him to observe a baseline of behavior. (One day I was helping in art class and he thought the project of the day was ugly, so he nominally did the project and then turned his paper over and did it the way he wanted to do it.  He insisted that his "wrong" side be the side displayed even though it looked radically different from the 20 others on display.  I was so proud!  I wonder if a more typical mom would have been embarrrased?)

My husband is adamant (and he's a professional in this area) that my son not be allowed to spend too much time playing video games or watching tv.  The more time he spends in those little worlds, which suit him so well, the more he resists the real world in which he has to live.

He doesn't do well with multi-part instructions and hates it when he has competing auditory input/instructions - and conflicting instructions can send him into tears.  However, lists work well.  Routines work well.  We have established protocols for safety issues because even though he is very bright he seems to have no common sense.  I worry if there were a fire he wouldn't be able to get out of the house (although he would spend the whole time thinking about the problem from very unusual, thought provoking and even intellingent perspectives, none of which would solve the crisis at hand).  In crowds, it's his hand I grab, not his younger brothers.

It's all about learning what you need to in order to function with the typicals, learning mechanism or routines or even "tricks" to help you with personal details, choosing a career that suits your strengths, choosing a spouse who fits your personality and who does not need more emotively than you can provide, and then enjoying life and reveling in your quirkiness.

There's a Norah Jones song from her first album about "a little girl who's all alone - and nothing's wrong."  I wouldn't wish for me, my husband or my son to be any different - there's nothing "wrong" with any of us.

other than to say "Good luck and God bless."  My 8-year old son is autistic (non-verbal, clearly in his own world most of the time, also a snap at computer games and very, very musical), so I can say that "I feel your pain".

Granted, PDD it is a very tough diagnosis to "accept", but from my own experience I can assure you that the sooner you "accept" it the better it will be for your own health and your son's as well.

Chin up - unlike the (recent, unfortunately) past this is hardly an untreatable issue.  We are close with parents of several A.S. kids who are getting-along famously in a more-or-less mainstream environment after only 2-3 years of therapy.  It's a lifetime challenge, but one where it appears your son already has some solid foundations on which to build.

Best wishes.

I agree except for the vocational thing.  I probably have more of a beef with how it's been used than the idea itself but...


I'll try to get on later.

I can't top the experiential comments others have posted, but will add what I can.

As a psychiatrist, I have had the pleasure of working with a young man with Asperger syndrome who volunteers for the Civil Air Patrol.  He has a zest for life that I've seldom seen matched. Although he took a little while to institute a system of reminders and a routine in place in order to keep his job and apartment (he has his own) he has been working almost full time for a year now and no longer needs routine psychiatric followup. His father is extraordinarily sensible and supportive. He is definitely quirky, and quite delightful.  My best intervention I think was to get him off several of his medicines which were giving him side effects, and we found that just a low dose of two medicines helped keep him from becoming anxious in social situations and to remember to go to work and appointments.  But my philosophy is that medications for psychiatric symptoms in folks with Asperger syndrome should be a fairly minor piece of what occupies their attention and that of their families--most of life happens outside a doctor's office, as it does for everyone else.

One common scenario in young kids (early gradeschool) with a mild form of Asperger syndrome often termed 'non-verbal learning disorder' (not officially described in the DSM IV but commonly diagnosed) is anxiety due to insight into their social problems. These kids are not far enough along the autism spectrum though to not care about getting along with other kids.  I've found that often a medication can make a profound difference in their level of anxiety, and by extension on disruptive behavior and physical symptoms like headaches.

On the theoretical side, areas all over the brain  have been implicated in autism spectrum disorders and we really don't have a great understanding of it.  Many theories invoke a problem with connectivity via white matter between areas of the brain.  This explains the 'stereotyped' behaviors these kids often do; if you imagine different areas of the brain each control a different type of action, and that 'neurotypicals' orchestrate amongst them with ease, an individual with autism has difficulty switching from one subroutine to another.  This also explains why language is relatively spared with comparison to math or social reasoning in most of these folks, because language is in just a few areas close to each other whereas the other functions are distributed throughout the brain (mostly right hemisphere) and rely on a lot of connections. Again, this is just one of many perspectives, but one I find has a lot of explanatory power.

Saying a kid has Asperger syndrome is, like any other diagnosis, only useful insofar as it helps to effectively treat troublesome symptoms or predict future symptoms.  It's not that there's anything wrong with being quirky, but it's helpful to know when that quirkiness goes along with other things to watch out for so we can do our jobs as parents and caregivers.  I know that navigating the world of IEPs and medical people can be scary and treacherous--I think the people who do the best at it are those who have access to others going through the same thing, either locally or online.  Keeping yourself plugged into support and informed is critical.  Your son's very lucky to have a mom willing to reach out as you've done.  

Nice note by Modo... On the subject of Meds, I love the Beta-blocker I was given for high blood pressure... it didn't seem to do all that much for my high blood pressure, but it has been absolutely wonderful at mitigating the adrenaline releases I get every time I get startled (which can be twenty times a day)(the adrenaline releases are so intense, I can feel the glands cramp, just above the kidneys). I still startle at the slightest unexpected sound or voice, but with the beta blocker doing its thing, I'm less jumpy, and have a lot fewer migraines. Sometimes I wonder if some of the small autistic children who are bouncing off the walls would be helped by Beta blockers. This startle stuff can be serious business... two years ago my son intentionally startled me as a joke, and I collapsed and broke my hand. I don't recall falling to the floor a single time since I started taking Beta Blocker.

"Modo" touched on language processing too... there is something I have been pondering for some years, but am not in a position to research. I recall reading about a research study a few years back that determined normal adults learn a second language in a different part of the brain than their primary language. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that a lot of Aspies like to learn foreign languages. Aspies are often described as having odd prosody, i.e. they don't always learn the sound and timing of language correctly. Students of foreign languages often have trouble learning the prosody and accents of the new language. It would be interesting to study which parts of an Aspie's brain are used for primary and secondary languages. I find it very easy to build up vocabularies in foreign languages, and have taken advantage of my talent to learn to speak German fairly fluently, plus enough French and Spanish to get along... but I find that whichever language I read before I go to bed, is the language I will frame my sentences in when I wake up in the morning; I have never heard neurotypicals complain about this. Every sentence I speak or write, is a conscious effort to dumb down what I say, it is like translating a foreign language on the fly. I have heard  anecdotal stories of autistic children who did not speak until age three or four, but then spoke in complete sentences as soon as they started speaking (I have a brother who did this). Do they just clam up until they feel they have mastered the language?

The single most helpful medical intervention we have found for our daughter has been giving her 500mcg of melatonin before bed, to help her calm down. She asks for it.

The single most helpful physical intervention we have discovered is hugging -- a full-body hug, legs around my waist.  No matter how angry and she is about losing an ant or something, a long hug (with back-scratching, if needed) can bring her back.  Occupational therapists call it "sensory diet".

It's strange that Asperger's is often diagnosed as ADD, because Ritalin is about the worst med for a 'spergie.

Hey, all!  I am an adult with Asperger's and have 2 children with it as well (only my girls got it from me--not the boys).  Mine is mild, one of my girls has moderate, and the other severe Asperger's.  The girls are not medicated for conditions stemming from the ASD, but the younger one may soon be for her seizures.  As a child I felt I was an alien in a landscape that I could not understand.  I never got social cues ( & still miss most of them now).  I felt that I must have been adopted, because I was so very different from everyone else in my family.  Now, I am able to hold down a job teaching Sp ED, run a household of 5 kids, write, paint, and keep up with a large collection of friends and associations, and do grad school at the same time.  My older daughter will be much the same way, as she is becoming self-aware of the problems ASD causes for her.  The younger has more serious problems with cognition and processing disorders.  However, both are "gifted" (as defined by the DSM-IV) and will definitely live interesting lives.  The older cares that she has a hard time making friends, but the younger couldn't care less. She is totally engaged in her own interests and investigations.  I expect her to become a scientist or college professor in the field of bug studies (LOL).  

There are some concerns for her safety, as she will be standing up in a tree and let go of the limb to catch an insect or animal.  She has broken both arms 3 times and her collar bones a couple.  Impulse control is always an issue, but so far there are no good ways of dealing with this other than to watch her.  

I am also interested in the questions of foreign language skills.  I taught high school Spanish for a while and was fluent to the point where I was dreaming in Spanish instead of English.  However, I only had formal instruction in Spanish for 2 semesters.  The rest I taught myself or picked up from native speakers.  I always wondered if my ability to pick it up so quickly at an age (40) most people have trouble learning languages had anything to do with Asperger's.  Any thoughts?